Oh fuckity fuck look what I did to the cake!

[Smellbellina]

It's supposed to be chocolate cake with chocolate ganache, the cake is barely an inch thick and the ganache is everywhere but there is increasingly less of it on the cake!
Can I style is out by chucking strawberries and cream on top? Pretend a ganache plate is a 'thing'?
This is why I swore never to inflict another homemade birthday cake upon the DC.
It looks like a cow's turd

I love the rainbow cake. Just very much doubt it would look anything like that if I tried it. I do have some big marshmallows for clouds though...

I had a similar disaster one year for Dd's birthday. No time to re-make it, so like a pp suggested, I covered it with whipped cream, strawberries, raspberries, blueberries and crushed flakes. It went down a storm, and has been requested for every birthday since then
I am very pleased that my children hold me to such a low standard of baking 😂

Is the ganache still liquid? If so, scrape off what you can from the plate and chill it. Keep checking and when it holds its shape but you can still spread it, respread over the cake (chill that as well so the layer already on it sets and you don't end up with crumbs everywhere). Then get a box or two of chocs and cover it with them.

You can also whip ganache when chilled and it goes really mousse like and light.

Haha I've made meringue too look!
They're suprisingly, umm, golden!

I want a piece really badly. If your family don't like it can I adopt you, I will never be critical at birthday parties.

If it sunk whilst rising it will probably be quite chewy? In which case it is chocolate fudge cake and it was ALWAYS meant to be like that! Just stick to that story :)

Just serve it in bits in bowls and call
It 'deconstructed chocolate ganache cake' do it with confidence and act like it was meant to be like that!

Transfer to a different plate and strawberries around the edge. Chocolate fudge cake.

The meringue looks good - i cannot for the life of me make meringue.

I could come round and eat the ganache from around the sides if you like?

In all seriousness though, my Dcs would love that, their eyes would light up at the overflowing ganache. Like the kitkat/smartie idea too.

Make chocolate truffle balls. Place these round the edge of the cake, on the plate, alternating with halved strawberries (or whole raspberries). Repeat on top of the cake.

With the ganache. If you leave it unattended in the kitchen I can guarantee you will return to find all the excess ganache removed and a DC with chocolate all round their mouths

I don't know what is wrong with the overflowing ganache, I'm with APaperMe's DCs and now I am going to find some chocolate biscuits.

I've just tried scraping some back up the sides, still looks dodgy but I'm quite hopeful. I think the gin is helping.

Sorted!

I do wonder how you even get a lovely neat little ganached cake onto a nice clean plate. How??!

Been there OP ! Just decorate it

#fuckingganache

granny your adoption terms sound very good to me. I can keep you well stocked with any number of cakes-gone-wrong

OP never baked a cake in my life, just wanted to ask if it's possible that these family members who turn up with professional looking cakes are managing that because they sneakily just buy professionally made cakes?

Can you put the meringue on top?

No pro but here's what I do. Cake board or cardboard cut using baking tin as template, cover in foil. Put cake on board on wire rack. Excess ganache pours through rack, wait to set then transfer cake on board (or carefully remove board) onto clean plate

What if you stuck ferrero rocher around the edges?

Just call it "chocolate mud pie". It needs an underselling sort of name, like Eton mess, and it'll bely its name with its very deliciousness. Plus you need a name that says "this pudding is not meant to be light or airy".

As someone whose cakes taste a lot better than they look (this isn't difficult!), I've found that a really simple idea is what works best. I think I could pull off the smartie rainbow cakes (and am noting the idea for the future), but I wouldn't try anything more complex. Your original photo already looks rather better than some of my attempts (though DD still speaks very fondly of all her birthday cakes. Being only 4 may help). If it were me, I'd go for any of strawberries/crushed flakes/smarties/maltesers. I'm easily pleased!

Smarties cake really easy, you could even just let DC loose with the sweets, then they've helped!