Oh fuckity fuck look what I did to the cake!

[Smellbellina]

It's supposed to be chocolate cake with chocolate ganache, the cake is barely an inch thick and the ganache is everywhere but there is increasingly less of it on the cake!
Can I style is out by chucking strawberries and cream on top? Pretend a ganache plate is a 'thing'?
This is why I swore never to inflict another homemade birthday cake upon the DC.
It looks like a cow's turd

Oh dear!!! Sorry I laughed. That's such a shame. Just go buy a cake and stop stressing I bet your fecking awesome at something that all these great cake makers couldn't even come close too.

Bin it honestly or sit and eat as much as you can then bin it lol.

But it's for a family party, it's embarrassing, everyone else makes amazing, professional looking cakes. I make what appears to be a cow pat

You know what, yes professional cakes look fab and perfect and everyone takes photos and says how great they look and how guilty they feel cutting into them

Yet they usually taste fairly disappointing. Dry or tasteless or with that synthetic buttervream stuff in the middle.

I personally prefer cakes to look homemade with the icing squelchimg out the centre with sauce dripping down the side and you need a fork to eat it

@RippleEffects that's actually a genius idea

Buy some Cadbury flakes, smash them up and cover with them.

How old is dc? If toddler, sprinkle crushed biscuit on the top in a pile and pop a toy digger next to it. Then it will look all Pinteresty.

If teenage, give them their first few glasses of wine before you serve it.

If in the middle... is there time to do an online shop for a Colin the caterpillar for tomorrow?

Just's kidding- when I was a child everyone's cake looked a bit shit. It is only now that Pinterest has raised our competitiveness. It is a cake bakes with love and it will taste awesome.

Have you got a toy cow? Seriously though I'd go with plenty of strawberries and cream and it will be lovely, melty ganache looks crap (voice of experience) but taste amazing

Stick a sparkler type candle on it and tell them it's a chocolate lava pudding cake.

When the ganache has become more solid which I'm hoping it will, do you think I can scrape the plate bit back up the sides?

You could try chucking the whole lot in a mixer or a food processor and whizz it up to resemble breadcrumbs then shape and press into balls. Melt some chocolate and dip the cake balls into in and allow them to set. You can decorate before the chocolate sets with sprinkles etc. Voila, cake pops.
Or instead of shaping into balls, press the mix into a cake tin and let it set in the fridge overnight and either try the ganache again or use butter icing.

Looks good to me

Ooh Nomoo I have cake sparklers in the cupboard somewhere. Sparklers are bound to help!

Thankyou Nymer they are great ideas, you sound like you know what you're talking about

Have you got time to make another layer and add it on the top?

Honestly though, the important thing about chocolate cake is that it tastes nice and chocolately, and I bet that does.

Yeah absolutely style it out. arrange a pile of strawberries in the middle and around the edge. Serve with whipped cream.Don't tell anyone what went wrong. SSSHHH!

Chocolate flying saucer cake is the new thing!

Just a tip for next time - Betty Crockers. Always tried to make my cakes - the harder I tried, the more I failed! Never thought I would ever use one of these but the relief of the no stress/no fail cake got the better of me - and I haven't looked back! They also taste good - so can pass off as your own!

One of my best childhood memories is my Mum taking the time every year to make me a birthday cake. They never looked perfect but she always tried her best and they tasted lovely. It made me feel so special that she did it for me.

I think your DC will feel the same.

My DD asked todaunif I can bake a cake for her b'day . no I can't.

Unfortunately I am lacking in time. The party is tomorrow, sort of a garden party, but the garden is only half done. The back bit is done, and the patio is fine but the bit in the middle is mud and weeds so I need to weed, rake and buy some bark to lay down in morning.
Honestly, why do I do it!
I need a drink.

Trim it!

Keep all the left over bits of cake, put in a loaf tin with some frozen fruit on the bottom & pour a firm jelly over the top. Makes a really good terrine :)

Good effort, OP. At least you tried.

Cut it in half, so two semi circles.

Sandwich together using the ganache, stand on a plate flat side down, cover with more ganache or icing

Smarties or m&ms, stripes in the colours and have a rainbow cake.

this

Can you make a meringue and scatter on topnwith cream and strawberries??

Chocolate flying saucer cake is the new thing!
I think that's the answer, she did say she'd like a 'space' cake. I have glittery stuff and the sparklers can be the rockets.

Sorry, can you BUY a meringue