To ask you to help me pull myself together- toddler serious fall overseas

[Chattycat78]

Just that. In Majorca. Now sitting in a foreign hospital where I can't speak the language and have been for 2 days. Toddler ds (2.5) fell from a wall- 3 metres- 2 days ago. He has fractured his skull.

Wall was very shallow on One side and then dropped away on the other. No signs or railings or anything and it was a deep wall so wasn't obvious there was any kind of drop on the other side. DS ran over, was able to jump onto the wall as it was his height and I couldn't grab him quick enough before he fell. In all honestly it wasn't apparent to me the depth of the drop until it was too late.

He was in intensive care following a terrible and scary first night. He seems to be improving now though and scans and his behaviour show no brain damage thank god.

It's all my fault. Why didn't I get him off the wall fast enough? I can't stop replying it in my mind and it will haunt me forever. I feel like an unfit mother and that I should have protected him and failed. I'm also doing the classic "if only" - if only we hadn't gone there, if only the walk had been too high to climb- and so on. I'm sure the rest of the family and Dh blame me too.

I'm of course incredibly grateful with the care we've received and that it hasn't been worse but I just can't see how we are all going to get past this or how I'm going to be able to leave him ever again in fear of what might happen.

What do I do to pull myself together?

[mummyofmoomoos]

Wonderful news! So happy he is ok, helmet? Bubble wrap? Or just your very capable, very wonderful self doing the best you can do. you've got this

[WellThisIsShit]

Spend a little time, if you can, thinking about what you've just been through. I know it feels weird as you're so focused on your little boy, but you have just been through a traumatic event. You'll be going through a process yourself of shock, and guilt (yes guilt, sound familiar?!), and you may well get flashbacks, overwhelming emotions, anger, self-blame, altered sleeping patterns and a whole host of other crappy things too probably.

Time will heal, it will heal you as well as your boy. And you can help the process by being kind to yourself, listening to what you need, and tending to yourself. It's ok to be human. It's ok to need looking after, and it's ok to look after yourself. It's really easy to end up running ourselves ragged and ignoring your own physical and emotional needs. It's not just about forgetting due to focusing on your child, it can be a bit of sacrificing our own needs or denying that we have legitimate needs to redress the awful thing that happened.

Anyway, can you ask a health care person about the head protecting now you're back?

There are helmets to stop head bumps - I don't know if you'd need to do this for a while though, as it could be too much? But if it's completely essential and without exception, then aond head heat might help, as you cannot stop an active toddler from being... a toddler!

[hellokittymania]

I speak Spanish, if you need any help with translating something, just send me a message.

Hang in there.

[WellThisIsShit]

Here's what I mean, but I wouldn't use it unless a doc or equivalent agrees

www.safetots.co.uk/thudguard-infant-protective-safety-hat-baby-blue.html?gclid=Cj0KEQjwhMjKBRDjxb31j-aesI4BEiQA7ivN-JiNZMGSqwWLoAAQef_Udr_v6lNSNCp8v3hpi-S2SfgaAlzC8P8HAQ

[Chattycat78]

Thanks all. Yes I had wondered about a headguard. Got a gp appt today after we're home so will ask

[youarenotkiddingme]

Have a look online at the rugby helmets! Lots of parents of children with SN use them instead of the ones provided by the NHS.

But you can contact the GP and ask for a referral to occupational therapist for support. You don't have to do this alone. He won't be the first toddler they've seen who's fractured their skull during an accidental fall.

[RubyRoseRing]

My son had two ops on his skull as a baby. Both times he got helmets from OT. One was made by the OTs, the other was simply a normal bike helmet in a suitable size. I'm glad to hear you are all home now. I hope being home has proved more relaxing than being a broad and in hospital.