To want to take 2 months off sick

[strongnstable]

Regular poster, name changed as this is very identifying.
I am undergoing a serious, planned operation in the autumn and the consultant has told me that I was likely to need three months off work, maybe less, maybe more. The operation will affect my mobility and I won't be able to drive or take public transport for 3 months either. I have been struggling into work and have not taken a single day off for this condition despite pain and are v rarely off sick anyway (1 or 2 days per year). I'm v senior, in a vvvv busy role and have been open and transparent with work about time off required suggesting that I will be needing at least 8 weeks fully off and then possibly some work from home. Work have been supportive and arranged appropriate level of cover and told me that I should come back when ready etc. I also have a good team with a number of great managers. My sick pay isn't good and my husband is a contractor but we have saved to cover this drop in salary and it's likely my husband will be able to return to employment after a month which will be fine. I will need him around initially to help with DC and also to help me. I'm going to be very poorly. He is happy to do this.However every other person I speak to from family to friends keeps insisting that I should probably return working from home or getting taxis in the office from a month in. That I will be bored at home and I'm indulging myself having longer off. AIBU to want 2 months off to recover fully before returning to a ball breaking job with two small DCs?

OP, take the time that your doctor recommends. If after a few weeks/months, you feel well enough to go back "early" then you can.

babyroobs Now, assuming that there are no complications, a hysterectomy doesn't require six months off. That's taking the mickey!

I had a major operation and my consultant advised me that I only had one recovery - he said I should make it a good one. Sound advice I think. Take the time you need.

Some good suggestions of lines to take, thank you. I am pretty young to have this op so people are shocked but then think my recovery is likely to be a hundred times quicker because of my age. Actually the opposite is true because they use less cement on younger patients. And besides the usual punter will not have a four year old and a six year old in the house and can rest whenever. Also my job is no half measures, you are either on or off but when you are there it is v full on. YY to a previous poster who said you don't get any ley way for rushing back. I also think because of my seniority my op will be common knowledge and could set a poor expectation if I rush back too soon

I assume you are having a total hip or knee replacement? Most people don't understand the difference between this and other less major forms of joint surgery. So I'd take any anecdotes about "Auntie Peggy winning gold in the pole vault two weeks post-op" with a massive pinch of salt. Auntie Peggy probably didn't have the same op.

Yep, total hip replacement. I'm under forty... my hip is absolutely fucked and labour was less painful. Believe you me the NHS don't like to do hip replacements on people my age and my consultant wants to 'get a good 25 years out of it' hence the need for a very careful recovery

I agree with pp that you should only listen to your doctors and nobody else. One of my closest friends had similar surgery during her early 30s. It took her a full 3 months to recover but it was worth it as she has remained fit and well for many years since then.

Do you have any supportive friends who can visit or help out once your DH goes back to work? It sounds like your friends and family won't be much use.

Fuck them all !
I had abdominal surgery and the surgeon said very sternly six weeks

Went back early for a course and sat there with a hot water bottle

Ended up taking 8

They have NO idea listen to us and not them and heal and recover please

Please don't listen to them as facing such major surgery - you need to relax and be chilled

To echo what others have said - listen to your consultant and your body, not to other people who either a) don't know about the seriousness of the operation, b) may feel uncomfortable around you if you are unwell! as overtired says

My DH had major surgery about 8 years ago. The consultant told him that he would need about 8 weeks off but he was sure he would be back in 4. He even took his laptop into hospital to work on after the op. Needless to say, he was absolutely floored for about 4 weeks and needed the full 8 weeks before he could even contemplate going back to work