WWBU to purchase DD expensive university accommodation?

[ThreePounds]

This isn't some twisted bragging thread, BTW. We have been saving since she was born.

She will be going to London in September for university and we are pretty set on a lovely studio apartment that's in student accommodation. It's just over £400 a week. We can afford this.

My mum thinks it's a bad idea. I never went to uni, so I'm not sure what experience she has, hence I'm asking here. She thinks she needs to 'learn' that's it's not easy or necessarily 'nice' to live alone, etc. etc.

DD has a part-time job herself and isn't expecting at all.

WWBU?

I absolutely loathed living in communal spaces. Never felt safe, always had drunks bashing on the door and hall-mates who'd let any creep they just met into our rooms. The bathrooms and kitchen were always rank, and my health nosedived as trying to actually cook a decent meal was an exercise in futility. I spent 90% of my time shut in my tiny room, absolutely miserable.

Was far happier and actually less lonely when I moved out on my own. Didn't impact my friendships, helped massively with my studies and was generally just bliss.

Yes, do it if you can afford it. I had a damp grotty bedsit and hated it, and my clothes always stank and of damp and mould. I did live in halls one year, I didn't really get on with the girls I shared with (we were divided into flats of 3-4) and ended up moving out halfway through the year.

Op, we too have sufficient money (mixture of living carefully, inheritance, share windfall from work) to have paid for DS to go into the best accommodation - he has just finished 1st year at a northen uni. My DC also each have a 6 figure sum, most inherited from a relative of mine 2 yrs ago. He could have lived wherever he wanted.

But he chose a normal, albeit ensuite and in a new'ish block, self catered room in a shared flat. He didn't particularly make friends with his own flatmates, but with those on other floors, and has had shared meals with them in his and their kitchen. He is moving out with 3 of them, one a trainee nurse. He has also made friends on his course and his recent retail job, but they have come later and are not as close friendships as those from halls. I can see he would have felt isolated at first if in a studio flat.

I am still close friends with the girl who lived opposite me in halls many moons ago and the girl who lived next door to her (but other side of bathroom), plus the 3rd girl we shared with in years 2 & 3.

So please consider the social side of being in an ensuite room - it doesnt mean you have to be a party animal, but as others have said, it does help make close friends - and those from her course and work will unlikely be as close or develop as early in the academic year.

I would save your money for post uni, that has always been our preference, the DC will use their inheritence to have a very good house deposit, we may help them pay fees off, something to be decided later on.

My nephew under corporate sponsorship is in a similar set up with no choice of changing accommodation and in London. He is mainly surrounded by overseas students who whilst friendly they do stay in groups of nationalities. The friendship he has made in classes and groups he joined tend to only be whilst in the setting as out of university they socialise with those they share accommodation. He is year two and accepts it for what it is.

She will find once she gets there that it is surprisingly hard to socialise when you are in self contained accommodation. The shared kitchen is typically the hub of student socialising (with the unplanned nature of the socialising there vitally important), and she will miss out on that.

There is also the personal development side of learning to share living space with others. DP never had to do it at uni and I'm sure it makes living with him harder even now, several years after graduation.

Plus - how long are you planning to support her living expenses for? DP and me, living together in London, both graduated 3 years ago and working FT in professional jobs couldn't afford £1600 together, let alone if we were single.

£274 is the cost for the premium en-suite accommodation in halls for Imperial with regular en-suites starting from £225 (all self catered) if you want to be close to the South Kensington campus so @ThreePounds consideration for the en-suite option seems not too far off. (Haven't gone for those options though!)

If you can afford it do it 100%. Agree with not buying a place, that would set her apart from her peers, but I knew a few girls who lived in these sorts of studio flats in student blocks and they certainly didn't miss out on parties and socialising as they just made sure to make friends with people in halls early on. And they had a nice private quiet space to go back to after that wasn't trashed by said parties.

I got allocated a twin room despite stating I had the highest budget and wanted an ensuite. My parents offered to pay for me to have one of these studios or live in their London flat but everyone said I should go for the halls experience so I turned them down. Hands down my biggest regret. I am an introvert and had two roommates over the course of my first year. The first wouldn't talk to me and spent her time constantly skyping her friends which made my room pretty much out of bounds except for sleeping. She let guests stay in my bed when I went home for weekends and didn't change the sheets. Once they had semen all over them. She left half way through and I then got a girl who would get up at 5am to wash her hair, turn the lights on and blow dry her hair before going back to bed until midday. Even when I asked her to stop she continued. Our beds were about two steps apart. It was claustrophobic. I didn't enjoy the constant partying and having food stolen or ruined by drunk idiots and I had no place to work. I basically moved into a friends flat which belonged to her parents but they were away a lot so we had the place to ourselves. Honestly ruined my first year, go for the studio she will thank you for it.

I'd definitely go with some kind of communal living for the first year at least - university can be very isolating and living alone could make it more difficult.

I'd go with the studio.

Halls are horrible. Noisy, messy, no privacy. If she's in Nursing she really needs her own space to get enough study time and sleep.

Experiencing halls is not a vital part of uni. They're a nightmare for anyone who is even slightly introverted and/or doesn't like the party/drinking culture associated with them. There's no rule that a student must experience this side of things to obtain a full uni experience and friends can be made anywhere.

Another consideration - there is safety in numbers when you live in halls. You don't have to worry about how you will get home because there are always people to walk or share a cab with. If you're set on a private flat then consider where it is in relation to halls, the union bar, or other studenty hangouts. She might well prefer not to walk home alone late at night.

It's also worth either you or your DD posting this query on thestudentroom.co.uk, specifically in relation to the university. There will be current and recent students who will be able to give specific advice for your situation.

silkypyjamas, I don't thin anyone is suggesting she should go in a shared room, that is a bit one extreme to another.

Wow I didn't realise student accommodation could be so expensive! I lived and worked in London for years until a couple of years ago and the most expensive was a studio flat for 600 a month!

If you're spending so much on rent I thin it would be better to just buy her a place now.

I don't know.... 50k to pay for her flat....another 70k for a house deposit....more if she needs it. Isn't it all a bit.... handing it to her on a plate? I've done OK for myself without huge handouts from parents, so maybe I'm a bit biased.