WWBU to purchase DD expensive university accommodation?

[ThreePounds]

This isn't some twisted bragging thread, BTW. We have been saving since she was born.

She will be going to London in September for university and we are pretty set on a lovely studio apartment that's in student accommodation. It's just over £400 a week. We can afford this.

My mum thinks it's a bad idea. I never went to uni, so I'm not sure what experience she has, hence I'm asking here. She thinks she needs to 'learn' that's it's not easy or necessarily 'nice' to live alone, etc. etc.

DD has a part-time job herself and isn't expecting at all.

WWBU?

My question is about whether you can afford it for the full three years.

If eventually she will ahve to move out of student halls (most people do after the first year) then she will be going into second year with less experience of sharing etc/potentially a smaller group of friends.

If I'd of had the money I would have loved a little flat of my own, but I also would have made no friends at all as I would go back to my little sanctuary.

give it to her after uni to get on the property ladder then. she doesn't need the luxury now but she will need it later if you ever want her to move out.

Is there no option for catered halls with en suite rooms? I absolutely agree about the studios being full of wealthy overseas students. Your dd may not be into partying but she sounds quite sociable and sporty. She will miss out so much in a studio and could be really lonely.

And if she goes out in the evenings with college friends it sounds likely she will be travelling home alone.

I would reconsider and revisit the flat option next year.

Hi OP just go for it. Sharing a kitchen isn't always a 'lovely' experience and if it's what she feels comfortable with then that's fine. It's no ones business except yours and your daughters. She's got a job and is studying sounds like she's got it pretty perfect to me, why shouldn't she have a nice place to live too. Go for it and well done you for saving so well x

I haaaated flat sharing and the only thing it taught me is how utterly disgusting and lazy many many people are. That being said, I think one of those rooms on campus with own bathroom and kitchen would be better than a studio apartment away from everyone. She won't make a lot of friends if living completely separately from everyone.

Student life isn't just about partying and making friends though. It's about learning how to share and how to set boundaries and respect other people. Also if it's with UNITE you get a shit land lord either way.

@WeddingsAreStressful it is in student accommodation, set floors have set room types. It's not on campus though as it's London.

Thanks for all the feedback, I see where everyone is coming from.

I tend to agree with the faction that thinks Hall would be better socially for the first year. Yes, it can be grotty, unless you went to boarding school in the 1970s like me, and you may not bond with your cell mates, but it's a place to start meeting people and making friends.

YANBU. There's no beneficial lesson to be learned from living in a cramped grotty student halls etc.
Plus it's a damn site easier to study if not surrounded etc.
If you can afford it and want to do it for her then no reason not too, none at all!

I live in London and that is rediculous money for student accommodation.

If she is set on a studio I would get her one in zone 2 for a fraction of the price. Otherwise a room in student halls.

I paid less than 70/week as a student and lived in Chelsea. It wasn't that long ago either!

Personally, all student halls did for me was make me miserable and uncomfortable, cause friction and make me feel more isolated.

There were no 'experiences gained' from sharing a kitchen, beyond being expected to clean up everyone else's mess because 'you live here too', even though I didn't make any of that mess.

I couldn't pick who I lived with, so I was learning nothing that prepared me for the future. I was never going to live with people like that again, so being forced to live with them at that point wasn't a life lesson in the making.

I was desperate to get out of that situation, so in my third year I did take on lots of extra work in order to pay the full rent of a nearby apartment that two other people lived in so that I could sleep on the floor for a year (they offered to split equally, but they were doing me a huge favour getting me out of halls and I wanted a big way to say thanks).

I was at Uni in the 80's

from my first year corridor I am still good friends with one person, vaguely in touch with two others, and know where to find about 4 more - out of 24

from my hall I am still close friends with several people
from my course, none

If I had unlimited money, I wouldn't pay £400 a week for a studio flat in London. I kind of feel students shouldn't get used to such luxury when they haven't even started earning for themselves. There was a bunch of girls in my year at medical school who went around wearing designer clothes and carrying designer handbags and I thought they looked ridiculous as they obviously hadn't earned them. (Fair enough to live well when you're working hard and earning.) I would put my kids into the accommodation that the majority of students at that uni have - no need for them to stand out.

I think flat-sharing's a good experience and rubs a lot of corners off people. If she stays in London once she graduates she might well end up flat-sharing for budget OR company reasons later, in which case she'll cope better if she's done it before.

If she's a real loner, likes to be tucked up in bed by 10pm, needs her beauty sleep, maybe a studio is an idea. Otherwise I'd say one year in a shared flat won't harm and may do her a great deal of good.

Popping in and out of each other's rooms, playing jokes on each other (really), the petty annoyances of halls/flat sharing are part of what makes first year so fun. Also those are people keeping an eye on her. Depending on her course, she could actually go missing for a few days without anyone noticing (weeks for some arts subjects). Flatmates generally look out for each other, and if a date goes wrong or something, they're there to help.

And I say all this as someone who found her first year flatmates incredibly annoying.

Don't get her a studio - they are too isolating.

Get her a nice en-suite in the halls which share a kitchen between flats of 4.

Although personally I think you are bonkers to spend 400 a week on her accommodation, the halls will be full of rich foreign students

I'd say not to paying it and keep the money for a house deposit. Do find her some decent accommodation in a hall but with a shared kitchen and lounge (we have done that for DS) as a studio flat sounds very isolating.

For the first year I would try to arrange nice accommodation on campus. Doesn't have to be a grotty hovel.

Would she not live with the friend she is on the course with?

Depending on how she feels after the first year, arrange accommodation elsewhere for following years. She might love it and not want to move, she might hate it and want to move.

I just think she will miss out on building friendships and having company close by if she is not only living alone but of campus

Oh if it's a studio in a student block, then go for it! It sounded like you were going to rent a random studio somewhere in Westminster.

But if going for halls or flat, somewhere with en-suite bathrooms is worth the extra money if you can afford it, which it sounds like you can. Life is more bearable if you have your own bathroom.

@n0rtherrn there isn't any campus accommodation

I used to work in the student university accommodation sector. And I can say that shared accommodation kitchens etc get so messy! Students not bothering to wash up n clean up after themselves. I thought to myself I would hate to live like that at uni. If she's very clean and tidy that would defo not be her thing and she would hate it. Not to mention the shared accommodation being very loud with students being students etc. Altho they do say part of the whole uni experience is the shared dorms etc.
I think this is lovely OP! Your DD is very lucky to have such generous caring parents. Brag all you want! Coz I'm secretly jealous and could only dream of such a thing!

Are you going to do it for all 3 years? I think if you can't then I would save the studio for the final year. When my DD went to uni the older students who did the tours told them to go in the cheapest halls for the first year as they were the fun halls and then she shared with a couple of girls in year 2 and had finally had a nice one bed flat for the final year. It worked well for her, she made lots of friends in first year, had a smaller social circle in year 2 and worked hard and enjoyed her own flat in year 3.

A friend of hers from school went the luxury student studio in year one and then had a grotty house share in years 2 and 3. She regretted not doing it the other way round.

My son on the other hand happily shared a nice flat, clean and modern but no luxury for all 3 years and we gave him more to live on. He was happy with that.

I suppose what I am saying is what suits one won't suit another so just talk it through with her.

Its a lovely idea, but honesty it is overkill. She is initially being set apart from the other 99% of students who will be flat sharing, meeting other likeminded people and going out and about together - not necessary to parties but even non party people meet and go out places too - she's going to be isolated from the word go.

I think this will in many ways inhibit her uni experience as when everyone else is having conversations of the meaning of life over cereal at 1am, she will be sitting in her flat alone.

My best friends at Uni, and subsequently lived with in uni and beyond, I met in halls - and we were not party people far from it

I'd worry that a studio would be quite isolated. There's other practicalities such as sharing journeys home late at night. I knew people that despite sharing with others, felt isolated by not living on campus compared to those living in halls.

My son said never have an en-suite as you have to clean it. The shared flats had cleaners for communal areas so clean kitchens and bathrooms.