WWBU to purchase DD expensive university accommodation?

[ThreePounds]

This isn't some twisted bragging thread, BTW. We have been saving since she was born.

She will be going to London in September for university and we are pretty set on a lovely studio apartment that's in student accommodation. It's just over £400 a week. We can afford this.

My mum thinks it's a bad idea. I never went to uni, so I'm not sure what experience she has, hence I'm asking here. She thinks she needs to 'learn' that's it's not easy or necessarily 'nice' to live alone, etc. etc.

DD has a part-time job herself and isn't expecting at all.

WWBU?

Sounds a bit anti social.

Also would think money better spent when she had graduated and has to work hard- thats when you really need a good place to live, it doesn't really matter when you're a student.

Is this private accommodation or linked with her college?

DS was in Univerity of London accommodation and as everyone was at different Universities made no friends at all. It was ok because he made good friends through societies some of whom lived in a flat nearby, but not great if this had not happened. Plus he went to school in London so had friends on gap years and friends at other London Universities.

The other thing to watch for is that the main market for this type of accommodation will be very affluent overseas students. Inevitably some will clique together.

I would add that this is a lot too pay. You could pick up a one bedroom flat in a prime area through an estate agent for less.

The thing is, what do you do with a child who isn't particularly into the typical 'student life', all she goes on about is how lovely it will be to have such a nice environment to build up her photography portfolio (does it as a hobby) and how exited she is to start learning her course material!!

I would echo what some other people have said here. Halls are great for your first year. It just makes it so easy to make friends.

Also, once she's been there for a while she'll have more of an idea where to live for the next years. She might prefer to be a bit out, or near uni.

I personally wouldn't live in Westminster (but then I don't know the actual flat). I just think there are more fun places to live in London.

I know lots of people have said it but she'll be missing out not living in halls. All if my best uni friends were met in halls rather than on my course. I'd ask her to try a flat for a term and move after then if she really hates it.

I think that if reasonable halls are available (and some really are shit) then it would be shame for your DD to miss out on that experience in first year, tbh. One of my best friends was housed in a really luxurious private room in our first year at college while the rest of us were on communal staircases. It sounded wonderful on paper but in reality she found it very isolating and lonely. In the end she was moved to a much more sociable setting and was much happier.

You probably don't want to say which university it is but what is the accommodation like? Do they guarantee accommodation for all first years?

I am of the opinion that it is crucial to form solid social networks in first year. I would go for halls for year 1 and then the studio for year 2 and year 3.

My son has just finished first year and he ended up in expensive halls as it was a last minute choice of uni. His were £170 pw for a double en suite room in a flat which had 6 ensuites and a lovely shared kitchen and communal area.
3 boys and 3 girls and he now has 3 friends for life (the 2 boys and one of the girls). He loved it.
Next year is a shared house with 3 girls which he is happy about (one of the girls is a long standing friend prior to uni, via their sport) and his only slight regret is not sharing with his previous flat mates even though he is very happy with the new arrangement. Lovely position to be in, too many friends....
He really wouldn't have wanted to be on his own. His room gave him privacy (private bathroom was best) but he loved hanging out with flat mates. Formed massive bond.

The other thing to watch for is that the main market for this type of accommodation will be very affluent overseas students. Inevitably some will clique together.

They will also disappear over the holidays.

My only worry would be whether she would be lonely in a studio flat. Being in shared houses and sharing kitchens, does make it easier to make friends. If she is very outgoing it will be fine, but if not I am not sure this will be best for her.

I think she will miss out on a lot by not sharing, and potentially find herself very isolated. A big part of the uni experience is learning to live with everyone in halls.

I agree with this. I'm forrin but came to London to study. My parents at one point were considering buying a studio for me, to then have as an investment. I was fairly introverted, not one for going out, didn't really look forward to the social side of uni. Eventually I ended up at a new UCL hall with en-suite loo, shared kitchen between six of us. £140 a week 8 years ago.

It was genuinely brilliant. I made friends with lots of others outside my course, there was usually someone about in the kitchen at 2am when an essay was due / to make a cup of tea for you when you were down. I didn't turn into a party animal, but I loved that kind of companionship (having expected to hate it!). I could be in my room with the door closed when I wanted. They did a good job of matching us up, I felt.

Keep in mind also that a lot of the more expensive halls will have a lot of overseas students, and there are some that IME tend to stick to socialising with others from their country only, which can be unpleasant or difficult for others.

If you can help your kids, then why would you not? We bought all ours a flat each for when they do to uni which they can live in or rent.
My only concern would be that she might feel a bit isolated at the end of the day? Also the safety issue. Would she consider a flat share (a nice one) with one or two other girls? At least they would notice if one of them was late back or something? Uni is about the social side as much as anything else. Plenty of time to live independently later!

She'll be missing out on some serious socialising and lifelong friendships.

A friend of mine bought their ds a 5 bed house and he pays the mortgage by renting out the other rooms.

Is this an option ?

The thing is, what do you do with a child who isn't particularly into the typical 'student life'

This was me, OP. Genuinely. Before uni the thought of living in halls sounded as appealing as cleaning a loo with my toothbrush.

The thing is, what do you do with a child who isn't particularly into the typical 'student life'

Then it's even more important that she lives with other first years. A naturally gregarious child would be OK. There are plenty of students who aren't into the stereotypical student lifestyle but that also means that you won't find them in the typical student hangouts.

As others have suggested, I would think very, very carefully about which of the available accommodation is both pleasant, but also gives her the maximum opportunity to make make good friends. For most people this will be the most important factor in having a good university experience and it will be worth trading a bit of luxury for a good support network. It's great that you want the best for your daughter and have the resources to do it, but do think carefully about what the right choice is. It's not the same as choosing accommodation later on in adult life.

I'd definitely describe her as outgoing, she isn't shy, she just isn't into all the partying. She is sociable though - has plans on joining sports teams, etc.

Personally if I had this much money for my DCs, I'd get the standard accommodation do she's mixing with her peers more and save the money to pay off her loans/debts/put a deposit on a house when she completes her degree. What if she hates her course/drops out after a year.? That's 16k wasted. Wait till she's graduated, got a job then help her clear her debts and get on the property ladder.

The thing is, what do you do with a child who isn't particularly into the typical 'student life'
All the more important to give her the opportunity to have to socialise. One of mine is incredibly introverted, not shy, but she really needs a good chunk of everyday alone and when she does socialise is desperate to be back home by 10. She does however have a solid core of friends from halls and now housemates. If she's started off alone I can imagine she'd be very lonely now.
However, you sound very invested in her having somewhere swish, and she's obviously keen too- just keep an eye on her.

Dd might think she doesn't want to share but it'd be very good for her imo. On a non campus university like the London ones most friendships are made in halls. But you may have left it too late to get a place in one? If you can comfortably afford it then the price of her accommodation seems like a second order issue to me.

YANBU. It's your money and your DD, do what you like!

Living in a flat with others is such a great experience. The majority of people I went to uni with made their really close friends from the people they lived with. It's just different to meeting friends at work etc. It's also a great experience to learn to live with other people, to cope with any disagreements and move on, to not have everything your own way etc. Having said all that, there were some people who just could not live with other people and they did not enjoy it. If she is one of those then you're probably making the right decision. You know her best.

I would also question her understanding of the value of money and whether you're 'spoiling' her. What is the cost difference between the shared kitchen and studio apartment? Is it worth it just so she doesn't have to share a fridge and a toaster?! If she was having to share a bathroom as well it would be different, but it's just sharing a kitchen with a few other students. I think protecting her from that horrendous hardship is a little bit 'spoiling' iyswim?

Just to echo a PP who pointed out that most of her neighbours are likely to be postgrads. Nothing wrong with that in itself but she may feel like the odd one out, and with no shared social space it may be hard to connect with her neighbours - I've stayed in halls where the door to each corridor is on a card access and you can't wander freely around the building.

I had an ensuite room with shared kitchen when I went to uni and tbh my social life mostly revolved around the group I was sharing with on my corridor, plus a few friends from my course. My sister was exactly the same. Would that kind of set up work as a compromise? I'm by no means saying your DD wont make friends, but living alone she may find she has to make an extra effort to reach out to people. If she's naturally very sociable then go for it.

OP given what you've said about what your daughter would prefer, it sound like she genuinely wouldn't really like the typical house share experience (I did this, bedsits actually, absolutely grim), I'd go for the studio, no hesitation, especially as it's easily affordable.

Lots of people in halls are not into partying
at DDs hall there are loads who get up early to do sports and music and stuff
but the good thing of halls is that you meet all different types and find out who you want to be now that you have left home

Your money, but tbh it sounds like a bad idea. Shared accommodation is a really good way of making friends.

Do you mean buying or renting? Your title and OP contradict each other.