AIBU not to do the bastard's washing anymore?

[SnapYap]

DH works FT, i work 3 days a week. I came home from work last night and cleaned floors, kitchen, cooked dinner, cleaned bathroom and then began putting away some clean washing that I'd left in a pile to go away the day before (I hadn't had time to put it away on the day). As I was putting away the washing, DS (2) was playing with a toy on the bedroom floor. DH was lay on the bed playing with his phone. They toy rolled under the bed and DS started shouting and yelling and asking for help to get it back. As I was busy and DH wasn't helping, I asked him to get the toy back for DS. DH replied, 'Why can't you do it? I'm sick of you asking everyone else to do your jobs!' I said, 'Actually I'm putting your washing away,' as it was his clothes I was sorting out at the time. He said, 'Well I didnt ASK you to sort out my clothes. I'll hang it up when I am ready!'

So WIBU not to wash his clothes this weekend, as he hasn't ASKED me to?

For background, MIL has been making sly comments lately about how little housework I do, which has caused lots of bad feeling. It's unclear whether this is a conclusion she's come to by herself, or whether it's been DH telling her I don't do enough.

Well he should have thought of that before he was all high and mighty shouldn't he?😀

Given that he's apologised, refusing to do his washing seems a bit over the top. I assume that at least some of the housework that he does also benefits you? Maybe you could go through the spreadsheet together, and see if you both think it's a fair split of responsibilities? That might remind him of the real situation and then he could tell his mother to stop her stirring.

Went through spreadsheet together, he was furious. Said I only did I tell to prove I do more than him and I should do because his job is so completely hard and I have a 'nice cushy little job' and DS is 'good as gold' and not hard work at all

And told me off for never letting him and DS have any time together..

Again this is why I have two ex husbands, I never tolerate this shit. Which is fine as I like living alone.
I guess if you want to be married you'll have to find a way of telling him he is a twat without using that word.

If your DS is as good as gold he shouldn't mind looking after him all weekend while you go out and enjoy doing something nice on your own.

I think the OP's husband sounds like a prize nob, and raising children IS work, and it is hard work, and it is a challenge. It is also wonderful and rewarding and lovely, and many women wouldn't trade it, but mothers do work hard.

However, I'm sorry @VestalVirgin (page 2,) but I have no idea where you got the info from, that 50% of men do their own washing. Not in any household I know - or have ever known! It's usually women!

What's more, like a few people said after you posted that,why would ANYone just do their own washing? People (women mostly!) generally do the family's washing all at once.

In most families, particularly if the woman doesn't work full time, she will do the majority of the housework including the washing. Just google 'how many men do housework?' You will find a raft of articles about how it's mostly women/mums. I have no idea where this '50% of men do the washing' statistic came from. As I said, not in any household I know - or have ever known!

I really must stop clicking on threads like this; they're SO depressing!!

Are there really men like this around? Still? In 2017?

Op, why do you keep changing your name on this thread ?

Notknownatthisaddress I think you need to reread VestalVirgin's post. She said 50% of people not 50% of men!

He sounds exactly like my EX

Sorry you have to deal with this shit

I used to do the family washing. Simple, the washing basket was full, carry it down and wash it, then hang it out and when done, bring it in. I even did a fair amount of the 'handwash only' as the washing powder didn't bother my hands.
Even though I am only a man I could manage it.
I did not expect 'praise' as it is just a household thing that needed doing.
Now, as the relationship has ended I wish I had been given a sticker or some recognition for having done this as apparently I have almost never done the washing or much of the other household 'stuff'.
Similarly shopping and cooking.

Notknownatthisaddress I think you need to reread VestalVirgin's post. She said 50% of people not 50% of men!

That is what VV meant though. She said 50% of people don't do their spouse's washing, and that people do their own.

Again, not in any family or household I know.

Because it defaults to a different name so I'm re typing it every time @AnyFucker

OP is there any reason he can't have your child on his own more?

And told me off for never letting him and DS have any time together..

Well obviously you should start by going out alone all day tomorrow and letting him have time with his child.

Like I said go out and leave him to it for a day with a list of jobs to do as well. Make sure you are back just in time to say goodnight not to do the whole bedtime stuff😀

Oh and laugh in his face next time he says your kidciscasvgood as gold cos we all kniwvkids are angels 100% of The time, dont need feeding, cleaning up after, bathing, taken places etc. You just sit on your arse all day while she learns Mandarin on cbbees 😤
What an arse. I am shocked men still think this in 2017.

You sound like you would be much better without your husband.

However, you would still need a lot of work in yourself, your self-worth and self-confidence to make sure you wouldn't end up with another wanker for a partner.

DH does the whole familys washing if im struggling. (Teething and sick DS) . I do the bulk of it but he chips in and does his share. I've never known a household where the DH hasn't contributed to housework in some way. My dad can't cook but will happily Hoover if needed or tidy the house.

Your DH needs to pull his finger out. You both live there and it's not just your responsibility. Especially on days when you are working.

Tell him you're off out tomorrow, which will give him time with your son and he can get his washing done as per his requests.