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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to ask for your best potty training tips?

63 replies

NoWittyNamesAvailable · 22/06/2017 20:03

I have posted in the potty training group but got no replies, so thought I'd post here for traffic

My son is 2 years 9 months. The last 8 weeks we have been potty training. I wasn't sure he was ready when we started as he never gave any indications he knew he needed nappy changes. For a few weeks prior, i sat him on the toilet before bath time and praise him when he did a wee. One afternoon he asked for "a wee wee on the toilet" so i sat him on there. After he did a wee he refused to have a nappy back on. I went with it, he did really well! We were having trips out and he was dry, asking for the toilet when needed there were occasional accidents but very few.

Fast forward to 2 weeks ago. He is now weeing in his pants more than he is using the toilet. He attends nursery for 2.5 hours a day and today he used the toilet there twice but also had 3 accidents.

I have tried my best to ignore accidents, but today i lost my temper. He emptied a toy box (small plastic tub) do he could sit in it. He did a wee then got up and poured it on his head. I really told him off, that we do wees on the toilet and not in boxes and that he knows that so not to do it, and i feel terrible for it. I don't know what to do from here. I thought about giving him a break and trying again in a few weeks, but he refuses a nappy "i not a baby" and he refuses a pull up in the day as they are for bed. He will just take them off.

Any advice at all is greatfully received

OP posts:

roundtable · 22/06/2017 20:06

Bribery is your friend.

Sticker chart or chocolate buttons for each wees/poo in the potty/toilet. Certain amount they can have a new toy.

hellobonjour · 22/06/2017 20:07

I trained DS at 2 years 9 months. He got the hang of it over two or three days. I do remember losing it a wee bit when he defiantly peed all over the couch after clutching himself and refusing to go to the toilet. The steepness actually worked!

hellobonjour · 22/06/2017 20:07

Sternness not steepness!

NeedMoreSleepOrSugar · 22/06/2017 20:09

Do you think they are genuine accidents (ie he shouldn't know he needed to go), he's getting distracted/lazy or is he doing it for (even negative ) attention? The tipping incident sounds like the latter?

Try to ignore the accidents, just quietly say next time we'll get it in the toilet and clean it up with minimum fuss (easier said than done when he's tipped it over himself I know!)

Has anything changed recently or is about to change that he could be anxious about? Dc often "regress" a bit with potty training when something changes, eg new baby, moving too a big bed...

roundtable · 22/06/2017 20:10

Mine both potty trained very quickly. Within 2 days. No accidents on carpet etc.

Did have a couple of defiant/ distracted while playing accidents though but that happens. I just changed them and said oh well you'll get your chocolate button next time.

CorbynsBumFlannel · 22/06/2017 20:11

Bribery and accepting there will be setbacks and trying your best to stay calm as losing it with them just makes you feel bad and sets them back more imo.
Easier said than done though when you're on your 5th accident of the day 30 seconds after they've denied needing the loo!

hippy1952 · 22/06/2017 20:13

With my grandson we waited until he was ready at 3 years 9 months and it took 1 day.

Benylin · 22/06/2017 20:15

My daughter had one of those baby dolls that wee on a potty when she was about 2 - seeing the doll do it seemed to help it all click into place for her. She would still have the odd accident but usually because she left it until the last minute. I don't know if they make boy dolls that wee though!

hickorydickorynurseryrhyme · 22/06/2017 20:15

Don't rush it

GlitterRoseGold · 22/06/2017 20:19

We are on day 3 of potty training but this is also our third attempt. My dc is definitely ready now she has one accident or so each day but goes and sits on potty and when I ask dc do they need to go dc says yes or no and if yes then they go.

I am giving dc one of those digestive nibbles it's like a small malteaser thing after each successful attempt. We are doing great this time.

littletwofeet · 22/06/2017 20:19

I waited until all mine were completely ready (so could pull pants up and down, get themselves on an off the toilet), around age 3/3 and a half.

I waited until they wanted to do it, I asked every few weeks if they wanted nappies or knickers/pants. One of mine chose a nappy some days and pants other days then the nappy days just got less and less. Or would sometimes ask for a nappy halfway through the day, I just said no problem. I think no pressure really helped.

Mine didn't have any accidents, took spare clothes out but never needed them. It was honestly completely stress free.

I know a lot of people think it's late and they were a bit old to be in nappies but by the time they all get to school it doesn't matter which kids were out of nappies at under 2 and which were over 3.

Mine all went a few hours between wees when they were ready and I used that as one of the signs.

I would say using the toilet twice and 3 accidents in 2.5 hours would suggest they can't really hold it in and maybe not ready yet.

GlitterRoseGold · 22/06/2017 20:21

I'm using this, it sings when they pee and dd loves it. Plus it helps me to know when she's went as cant always see whilst she's on

AIBU to ask for your best potty training tips?

ScarletSienna · 22/06/2017 20:21

Everything Littletwofeet said.

GlitterRoseGold · 22/06/2017 20:22

Also my dd is 2.10, we have been using pants only past 3 days but will be putting trousers on tomorrow in preparation for nursery Monday

Chrismino · 22/06/2017 20:24

I think sometimes kids thinks it fun to begin with but then it gets boring, don't give up just give lots of praise and chocolate.

Original poster

NoWittyNamesAvailable · 22/06/2017 20:35

We do use a sticker chart and he gots lots and lots of praise. He was off nursery for 9 days with hand, foot and mouth when this started. He was doing so well before that, only the odd accident when he was really absorbed in an activity. We could go out shopping/to a park for a few hours and he'd be dry or ask me for the toilet.

I think it's gotten to me because i know he can do it, he did it for the best part of 6 weeks! The staff at nursery have said just keep going, today was just a bad day. I try hard not to get frustrated by it, but it's wearing.

If he hadn't instigated it all himself i would have waited till August/September to start.

This parenting thing is hard work sometimes.

OP posts:

EezerGoode · 22/06/2017 20:37

Smarties,one for a wee,two for a poo...only works if they never get sweets or chocolate...

mctat · 22/06/2017 20:55

He's not ready. Go back to nappies for a bit

littletwofeet · 22/06/2017 21:03

If it's making you frustrated and stressed, go back to nappies or pull ups for a bit. It's honestly not worth it.

If he's instigated it and wants to do it, it might actually work.
After him weeing in the box, I probably would have said he has to wear a nappy for the rest of the day.(not in a telling off way, just very matter of fact). If he was unhappy I would say he can try again tomorrow but if he can't wee in the toilet then he'll have to have a nappy back on.

Original poster

NoWittyNamesAvailable · 22/06/2017 21:08

I tried that last week. He told me "I not a baby" and took it off. At this rate my 18 month old will be potty trained first

OP posts:

GherkinSnatch · 22/06/2017 21:09

Try reading Oh Crap, I've had a few friends swear by it.

Eatsleepteach · 22/06/2017 21:09

When he has an accident at home make sure he stops playing and has to leave what he's doing to go and get cleaned up/changed. Makes them realise it's more convenient to just quickly go to the loo than to leave the room/clean up/clean clothes/wash hands etc.

lifetothefull · 22/06/2017 21:10

I think it sounds like he is ready, he's just testing boundaries. He should now be pretty clear that deliberately weeing in a box and tipping it is NOT ok, but a little accident is ok as he is learning. Sounds like you are doing the right thing.
When you are in the middle of potty training especially if you go for it young, it feels like it's not going to work.. But you are nearly there. Keep calm and carry on.

Original poster

NoWittyNamesAvailable · 22/06/2017 21:10

I might try again though.

OP posts:

Blossomdeary · 22/06/2017 21:13

Bribery - the novelty has worn off and he needs a secondary reinforcement. I found jelly tots were just the thing! Stay cool and casual and don't over-discuss it with him. Just administer a jelly tot when he next gets it right with a calm "Well done - good boy." He will get the message, I guarantee!

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