To be a tiny bit annoyed people always assume DD is a boy?

[gandalfspants]

Unless she's dressed predominantly in pink?

Ok, I admit I'm not the 'girliest' woman ever and I'm not massively into pink, though she does have some pink clothes.

If she's wearing a blue dinosaur romper then fair enough, but today she was wearing a red and white striped ladybird vest (tiny writing actually says 'little lady' if you get close enough), and a denim look dress. Admittedly you'd have to get close to see it was a dress in the buggy, but do red, white, and denim really shout 'I have a penis'?

I'm really not that bothered (she's only nine months so doesn't care either), and mostly don't even bother correcting people unless they say 'what's his name?' and I just say 'she's xxxx'. At which point some people give me a dirty look like I've deceived them!

But AIBU to wish a tiny bit that people wouldn't assume that any baby not covered in pink must be a boy?

I probably am.

My DS has been frequently mistaken for a girl for the last 5 years. Aforementioned beautiful eyes with dark lashes, paired with shaggy hair and a liking for pink and purple. And my daughter was constantly mistaken for a boy (wispy hair, usually found in a muddy puddle) until she recently developed a princess obsession and now only wears tulle skirts and gaudy floral headbands (paired with pink gumboots for puddle-jumping).

It has happened a handful of times with my very tiny, slightly built now 2 year old daughter. A couple she could easily have passed for a fine featured boy, to be honest, in the entirely neutral coloured outfits I'd put her in.

The elderly chap who said "he's a beautiful little boy isn't he" on the occasion she happened to be wearing a pink coat did make laugh though, his wife hissed "he's a GIRL John, that's a pink coat for goodness sake open your eyes"

As the people passing comment are always being lovely not calling her a total uggo I take it in the spirit it's intended and don't bother correcting them. Unless they ask for a name in which case there's the inevitable "ah...that's a girl" Penny dropping moment.

Hair is definitely the deciding factor for most people - my son has long hair, but also a surprisingly deep voice for a five-year-old and mostly wears fairly boyish clothes in primary colours. For some reason, people will always assume he's a girl, despite there being more 'traditional' male elements to the way he looks and acts, so I can only assume that having long hair cancels out any other ways of identifying someone's sex (and vice versa).

My little girl is usually in gender neutral stuff so often taken for a boy, which is fine, but even when in a dress and flowery tights, she is still often assumed to be a boy. Once, when in a very pink, flowery snowsuit I had a man rather indignantly say "well THAT'S a very pink suit" - I was puzzled until, after a couple more odd comments, realised he meant that it was very pink for a boy. If you think that only girls can wear pink, wouldn't you assume that child in pink is a girl? Another time, when she was on my lap being changed, legs in the air, someone asked me what "his" name was. People are odd!

Is it vital that strangers can assume the gender of your baby? All babies look similar.

We had a green buggy. DD always had a pink blanket and people still called her a boy.. used to drive me mental!!

I've had an 2 year old girl, in a dress, with bob, hair clips, girls shoes etc etc, called a boy 🙄

Don't you know that primary colours are only for boys, OP?!

Don't you all know that primary colours are only for boys?!

Agree it's a hair thing for a lot of people...

Everyone used to insist my ( identical ) boy twins were boy/girl because one would be in blue and one red routinely when tiny (for easy identification purposes)

Oops sorry for double post, reception is playing up!

DD1 had no hair & a blue pram. Even in the flounciest pink dress (thanks exmil) She got called he constantly - she's now 6 with long blonde hair and I can't get her in a pair of jeans to save my life so it obviously hasn't affected her!
Ignore, ignore smile & nod - they're just making conversation.
If you do have a 2nd It's easier 2nd time round. A mouthy 3.5 year old will quite happily correct anyone who gets it wrong!

A man once asked what my "son's" name was at the bus stop. She was dressed head to toe in pink that day. People are idiots.

I get this with my dd all the time. I'm not a fan of pink either, but she has quite a lot of hair for 8 months. Honestly I don't let it bother me, quite often I don't even correct them and if they say 'isn't he lovely' I say 'yes he is' they do then look really confused when they ask his name
Did once have a lady say 'just look at his eyelashes, he's too pretty to be a boy!' I really wanted to say, 'you're completely right, I'm going to start raising him as a girl right now!' But she was about 90 and lovely so I just smiled and nodded.

My girls were bald until they were 2 and everyone assumed they were boys unless they were in top to toe pink. I remember having DD1 in a blue DRESS with white lace and someone still thought she was a boy.

Just have to ignore and try not to let it irritate you.

My dd 20 months is bald as a badger we often refer to her as Phil
Even if she's top to toe in pink I'll get the "oh isn't he lovely" comments
I think it's because she is bald, never put a headband in as I did this with dd1 and look back st the pictures and think why did I do that to her. In fact with or without headband dd1 was never mistaken for a boy.

My daughter (now 27) was in a pink and white dress with matching frilly knickers and white frilly socks. White bedding edged with pink ribbon on the pram and a large pink changing bag on the handle. She even had a pink bunny on the pram. I still was congratulated on my lovely baby boy!!!

My friends sister had a baby and I wasn't sure if it was a boy and girl so I had the genius idea of asking baby's name to find out. Of course she'd given baby a unisex name so I was none the wiser!

I used to find it bizarre that people would feel confident enough that my ds - dressed in neutrals/brights/blues - was a girl that they would commit to it with comments about 'her/she' etc. But then I've been on the other side of needing to comment on a random child and for some reason it always seems to sound a bit harsh asking 'is that a boy or a girl?' (the words themselves iyswim rather than the concept of not being able to tell) so I end up committing to one or the other and just opt for getting corrected.
What I'm trying to say is, they're not necessarily convinced your dd is a ds because she's not in pink, they're just unsure and coming down on a side!

I've found that if I'm speaking to the parent of a young child where I'm not sure if it's a boy or a girl, 'how old is your little one?' or similar saves me making a fool of myself.

I'm really not girly, and DH doesn't like pink, so once DD was walking, I would get her slightly girly shoes (though never predominantly pink!). I thought they'd show she was a girl, and I could dress her in anything else above that - frequently 'boys' clothes.

Now DD is 4, she has strong opinions about what she likes, and pink is at the top of that list....

Ds2 is, to me, obviously male. He's been referred to as a she, when wearing a rainbow striped romper, and also when wearing a joules outfit - red/white thin striped bottoms, and grey/red t shirt.

Having said that, on one occasion I had taken ds to the gp. The appointment was finished and as the gp was seeing us out she said something about him that required use of the pronoun. She looked confused and then asked me whether ds was a boy or a girl. When I looked at her agog (we had just had a ten minute discussion about 'him' and whatever 'his' ailment was) she said 'well it is the colour of the vest'..... As Ds was wearing a pink vest from a multipack.

Gonna insert the obligatory "pink was considered a manly/boyish colour and blue a feminine colour till relatively recently and anyway dressing boys and girls differently was invented as a marketing technique to sell more kids' clothes" here....

This happens with my DD too. She has an older brother and I am not bowing to commercial pressure to buy a whole new set of clothes just because people think girls should wear pink and not dinosaur stuff! I've never really been bothered when people get either child's sex wrong as babies though. They don't care. DD even has a unisex- sounding name so when people say "what's his name" I just tell them. Bizarrely she has been mistaken for a boy twice in what I consider very girly outfits- once in a teal baby grow with fuchsia edges and once in frilly dungarees with a flowery vest underneath. Some people are just not very observant and just go by the main colour.

Someone asked what my little girl was called last month. On the day DS was dressed all in blue with a t shirt that said something like "mummy's little man" on it (he was literally labelled up as a boy!) people are silly