To not go due to short notice

[kerrygirl85]

It's my mils birthday and my husband told me there were no plans made to do anything today to celebrate it.
He's just rang me now saying he messed up and he mis-read the text and actually we are all going out for dinner tonight. Now I've to get two kids ready and bring one for a haircut as he's graduating preschool tomorrow and his hair really needs a chop badly and then go pick up a present and card cos he couldn't even do that.
On top of that I offered to bake the cake for mils party at the weekend something I do as a hobby so was planning on doing that today so the cake would be fresh for Saturday as I'm going out for my friends birthday tomorrow night after the graduation. AIBU to not go and bake the cake at home like I'd planned whilst they go for dinner other wise it's going to be 10 at night or later before we get home and kids settled before I get to bake it. I know it will look rude if I don't go as it's a big birthday for mil but I'm so annoyed with my husband for dropping me in this. When I told him I hadn't even done the cake yet he told me it was my problem that I offered to do it but wasn't complaining when I saved him a few quid

He thinks you will do it.

Read about the "mental load" and stop prompting him about this stuff. His family: his responsibility.

Even a few weeks ago I mentioned something about MILs birthday and was told it was nothing to do with me

Right, that's you out then.

Your husband doesn't sound very nice, actually. Is this normal attitude for him?

They wear a cap and gown????? Thats bonkers. Mind you surely with a cap on no haircut needed.

Anyone else dying to know what exactly the text he misread said?

Because I can't for the life of me understand how you'd misread a text making arrangements for dinner, so badly that you thought there were no plans at all.

He sounds like a total tosspot to me .............

It doesn't sound like he is very nice to you at all. Stop worrying about whether or not he's bought his mother a card or gift, that's down to him. He obviously doesn't appreciate what you do for him. Let him suffer the consequences of not bothering. There's a small chance he might learn.

Your husband sounds like an utter bastard. Is this some sort of ploy to try and ensure you don't go out tomorrow night do you think? I think he's going to say that that's when you can make the cake instead.

Feign illness and make the cake. Not your MIL's fault. But given the above, he can sort a gift.

Sorry dh your mistake your issue you deal with it. So leave him to sort card present and cake.
You worry about the thing that matter, dd hair cut! Not sarcasm incase it comes across badly, I get that a lot. It's your baby's first graduation of course him looking smart and handsome in pictures matters. And it's not like you've had weeks of notice that tonight is party night not like you've put off cake making till late or failed to buy present when dh asked. So screw his demands and arseholery. But do go as it is her birthday so she shouldn't miss out on seeing you and dc. Just make sure she knows why there's no home made cake and possibly no card or present!

Pre school graduation is pretty common - our nursery are doing one. It's just a way of having a bit of a party for the leavers.

It is a big deal for ds as he and his two friends - who he has played with 3 days a week for years - are going to 3 different primary schools. It is nice to have an excuse to get some photos of the boys together as we probably will lose touch as they get drawn into the exciting world of school.

It is also a big deal for us - nursery has been a huge part of our lives since 2011 and ds is our youngest child. It is a family orientated place with a low turnover of staff which means that dd's favourite carer when she was in the baby room (and was then a shy, young girl fresh out of college) is still there and is now a married woman who is soon to have her own baby. And from September we won't be a part of it any more.

Personally I think it should be me and Dh in the cap and gown for surviving our kids baby and "little child"-hood. But ds is far more gorgeous than us so probably better for it to be him in the photos.

So we will celebrate his our achievement of getting this far, we will feel sad that we will be moving on from this happy part of our life and we will be excited about the future and what it holds.

Very similar emotions to when me and Dh graduated from University. (Although with less alcohol sadly.)

"Even a few weeks ago I mentioned something about MILs birthday and was told it was nothing to do with me"
Well there you go then. He didn't want you to deal with the present/card then, he can fuck right off landing you with it now.

How is he generally? You say "this isn't the first time he's forgotten to tell me plans and normally I'm pretty much accommodating" - does this means he plays the 'I am the man of the house and I make all the decisions here' game?

a few weeks ago I mentioned something about MILs birthday and was told it was nothing to do with me

Turn that back on him then. Don't get a present or card, make no move to go to the party, and remind him of what he said to you.

But it does sound like you have a bigger problem, TBH.

What did you decide to do OP?