By putting my foot down with MIL now?

[PayingMyWayYouSay]

I'm fed up of her financial input. I cannot buy anything for my DS without a raised eyebrow.

I wanted an £800 pram. I ended up getting something else for £150. Lovely basket for shopping which the other didn't have but just as slim (and £600 originally anyway).

I want a very lovely but basic IKEA cot, with matching wardrobe and draws but we didn't mention that part. Apparently that's not acceptable since her DD and other DIL got theirs for £25 off EBay.

DH is saying it's my choice since it's so important to me (as in he isn't that bothered), but she just keeps on. Or gives me funny looks and sighs.

All of DS's Sleepsuits are next or jojo, this is ridiculous by her standards, and so is buying a few gorgeous bits for next Summer, in her opinion.

I try not to mention these purchase anymore but she sees them and comments without prompting.

I can't treat my child without being put down or looked badly at. I'm constantly compared to what others have purchased.

DS is my 5th pregnancy but will be my first baby. Yes, I want to have everything how I would like.

It most likely will make fuck all difference in the long run but it's what I want to do and so I am going it.

Would a few stern but polite words be a bit unreasonable?

I know she has 3 DC of her own but I'm just fed up of her comments.

I don't drink or smoke, everything I buy myself is good quality basics that last ages. I don't treat myself in all honesty.

Is there a reason why you're entertaining her having her nose in your business? are you dependant on her? Does she live with you guys? Or are you generally soft with her?

You're a mother now and you're right, you can do things how you want and it's nobodies business. Literally ignore it. When MIL gives you her unprompted comments, glance her way, say nothing... and get back to what you were doing or go do something else. It sounds harsh but people need conditioning, just like dogs! lol. Dismiss and ignore the behaviours that don't suit you and eventually the person stops doing them. Praise the behaviours that do suit you, for example when she supports you for something you say or do or buy or whatever, it will encourage her to be more supportive. I had to do this with my own mum, she's changed drastically.

Yeah I used them right up to when DC5 was toilet trained.
The process isn't as messy as it sounds. Not really that different from wrestling with wipes packets. You do so much washing in the early days anyway.

I think you can get sample packs so that might be worth ago rather than paying out for a full kit.

Why are you telling her all this stuff?

What ImperialBlether said. I'm so sorry for your losses.

I'd play her at her own game. Start pretending it cost double, or triple the amount and watch her foam at the mouth fir your own amusement but I'm really petty like that

More seriously though OP, sorry for your losses, buy whatever you want and can afford, tell her to Sod off

That does sound very petty ihave, who could be bothered with that.
Op be more assertive, stop telling her your business. As for you don't treat yourself etc, stop justifying yourself to anyone. Treat yourself too.

My Mil is obsessed with how much everything costs. I just say things like 'I guess that's the best thing about working, spending on the kids" if she cat bums about the price, I say 'yes, but they're worth it". Keep dropping comments that suggest to her that you will do what you please regardless of her opinions. However, if she is holding a grudge about any financial help, it may be best to pay her back ASAP. or at least offer if you are now financially secure. If you are doing ok, it s the least you and your DP can do as money seems to mean more to her.

Good luck and enjoy precious little one when they arrive x

Sorry, just read that it was a wedding gift, so don't let he guilt you when you buy things for baby. As long as Dp is happy with it.

I am the opposite! As a mum and mother in law I delighted in buying lovely things such as a Bugaboo pram and clothes from little boutiques. I also went mad in Sainsbury's!
You quite often see people on here slating mils for buying too much so it is quite difficult to get it right. I was lucky because both dd ad ddil 1 have my opposite numbers who are worse than me. Ddil 2 has no mum and welcomes my input. Ddil 3 lives in Turkey so when I visit her mother and I have a yearly spending spree there as well as my taking stuff from here. If any of them objected I would stop though :(

I got excited like this before my DS came along. My MIL indulged my fantasy purchases, but my DH lost it when I showed him a 'baby wet wipe warmer.' I was worried that the wet wipes would be too cold for that little baby bottom.

I look back at that and laugh now. I ended up buying most things second hand, including a thoroughly laundered SleepyHead.

You quite often see people on here slating mils for buying too much so it is quite difficult to get it right

I really don't think it's that difficult to be neutral and not one extreme to the other

Only respond to direct questions and then vaguely
" have you bought xyz?" - "yes"
"How much was it?" - " £xxxx"
" that's a waste of money" - no response
" you don't need to spend that much " - no response
"Sil bought one for 2p" - still no response

I would say to her , are you paying for it ? No , so keep your nosy beak out

Tell her thanks for her concern but you're spoiling my very precious time working things out for my new baby, much wanted and you spent so long trying to get

£800 isn't that much for a pram, we spent about that and it essentially lasted for two kids - got a red one too so it was fine for my BG mix of kids