To ask what age you had your DC and whether in hindsight would you have had them earlier/younger?

[EllaBellax]

DH and I are keen to start a family. Keen to hear from others who have been there and done it what they would now consider the 'perfect age' to have DC

22. In hindsight yes I would have waited because I ended up on benefits after split from ExH as I had no real career. I have a job now but it's low paid and I'm a single parent so no spare cash to save to get a mortgage.

However I wouldn't change DS for anything and being a young parent has some advantages. I'll be "free" by 40 if you look at it that way.

I sometimes think I'd have had a better chance at giving birth naturally if I'd had my first at 23 instead of 33. (Wasn't happening as I didn't meet DH till I was 26 and didn't marry him till I was 31).

I posted upthread that I had my first at 37, like reetgood I wasn't ready sooner.

Far too old if you ask me and if I'd known how brilliant it is to have children instead of spending from 32-39 wondering if I'd actually like to have children I'd have done it a lot sooner

Spot on there.
If I'd known this I would have had more than two. As it was I decided at 40 to quit while I was lucky enough to have two healthy DC.

Had first at 30 (just before turning 31), hope to have 2 more at around 32 and 34/35...wouldn't have wanted any earlier but maybe after more I would.

Just turned 35 and 37 wish I started younger, dc now 11 and 8, I'm 46 and feeling old & tired while some friends from uni have dc off in uni and working!

I'm in London, hardly any young mum's at my dc's school, in fact I am considered young as many started late 30's/ early 40's with their 1st!

What's telling is lots of 50th birthdays!

For me timing wasn't right, career, travel etc, looking back with what I have now I wasted many years barking up wrong trees!

Anyway glad I'll be done primary school before I am 50, just!!!!

39 and 43 for me. I genuinely thought I didn't want children until I met DP at 37 and everything changed . In hindsight I realise how incredibly lucky I am to have my two beautiful girls and wouldn't change a thing.

First at 19 second at 25 wouldn't change it for anything- still went to uni as planned and got my degree

38 &41, was the right time for me.
But I sometimes ponder that if I had met dh 10 years earlier, we might have had 4.

23 when I had DD. I'm 25 now and I'm certain she'll be my only one. So I can work on my career without worrying about having a little one anymore.

First at 35. Perfect for me!

I was 31, 33, 34 and will be just 36 with my next.

I would never trade my 20's to have them earlier. I did very important things for my life, growth, happiness, experiences in my 20's. I've been blessed being able to get pregnant very (too) easily though so my answer might be slightly different if we'd struggled.

34 and almost 38. I didn't meet the right man until I was 29 but we waited for a year once we were married then two MCs first, and two more and a son at 27 weeks who didn't survive so a bigger than planned gap.

We wanted at least three probably four. I just didn't have the courage to face another loss.

So it would have been good for us to marry faster and start trying faster but life wasn't like that.

I was 21, 23 and 25 when I had mine.
People on here say it's too young but honestly we are happy and comfortable and couldn't give a flying fuck what people think

32 & 37... wasn't planning for such a long gap but unexplained secondary infertility got in the way.

I like the fact we were slightly older than average as I felt I certainly had my wild nights out & don't miss them now. That said I have a friend who had her children young & is now in a position to go out whenever she likes now.

Think what I'm trying to say is there is no 'right' age and sometimes nature throws a spanner in the works.

Had my first at 28 and am pregnant again at 31, perfect timing for us (fc!).
The time will never be right for it as others have said.

I was 19 when we TTC. I accept now it was for all the wrong reasons (bad childhood, was desperate to break the legacy iyswim) although also DH is older which meant we didn't want to wait. We got married when DD was 17m and DS arrived 10 months later :o

Do I regret it, absolutely not! But I have 19 year olds in the family now and I think holy crap they are SO YOUNG!

I found the postnatal period very difficult (due mainly to breastfeeding not working well - I felt a failure) and I was very isolated - having turned 20 by the time DD was born, I wasn't eligible for any young mum groups, but among the rest I stuck out like a sore thumb due to being much younger.

Now expecting DC3 shortly before turning 31, I feel more settled. What also helps is that I have now been diagnosed with autism and that explains many of my difficulties. I am much happier in myself now and don't feel the need to pressure myself into toddler groups etc. My nearly 10yo is super excited and the age gap will work well I think. It was a surprise, this one, but DH and I are very happy. He will have the snip as we agree this needs to be the last (financially, my health is quite shit and also he is getting older). I expect many would assume it's the other way round - that DC1/2 were unplanned as I was so young, and this was the planned one :o

Most of my school/college friends haven't had children yet and here I am on my second go round! Some friends are getting broody though :)

Was planning 34 and 37, but had a few miscarriages and have just had my first at 38. I'd rather have had him a bit earlier, as I'm going to have to start trying for a second much sooner than I would have done otherwise, but actually being a 38yr old first time mum is fine.

My first at 34 and I'll be having my second this year when I'm 38. I would have preferred to have started 4 years earlier but DH was dead against it. Feel really, really knackered pregnant at my age with a toddler, but I'm glad DH and I had a long stretch of just enjoying ourselves together before we had DD. And that we're financially stable and mature enough to do the best job we can bringing up kids.

27. Was a good age. I'm relieved to have got my conceiving, pregnancy and birthing done in my late 20s.

Equally I can see that there'd have been advantages to leaving it a couple more years to get a bit more financially and career established, things have worked out ok but we were sort of reliant on things falling into place which they might very well not have done. But I wouldn't personally have wanted to do things much later than we did. I'd have wanted childbearing done by early 30s max. I also definitely wouldn't go back and do it any younger.

Agree with Elspeth. Also caring for elderly parents with dementia and 3 under 5 is so hard. If my kids have kids the same age as me i probably will never meet them, or be too old to help like i'd like and they will probably be expected to look after me, like we are with our parents. I feel very sad about that.

I had DD at 42. My DP and I met when we were 40 - before that I was in a series of LTRs that didn't feel baby-friendly, plus I was hopelessly immature.
In retrospect, I wish I'd started in my mid-30s, as I'm sad I won't be able to give DD a sibling.

I was 36 and (surprisingly!) one of the first of my close friendship group to have children. That has been the hardest thing about it for me. I also don't live particularly near family. So it's not just your own age but the support and understanding of those around you. As others have said, it's your circumstances. Are others at a similar stage as you?

I could happily have gone on as I was for a few more years and I'm sure I'd have had lots of fun & more travel, but wouldn't change dc for any of that. I do want another but waiting to feel a little less tired... maybe that's not coming... But obviously with that in mind I don't think 37 is too old! About the average age of my antenatal group actually.

had my first at 21 and second at 23. now 24 so still pretty early days but i wpuldnt change it for the world

18 and 37.
Everything happens for a reason

I have 2 under 2 and am 39. I would have liked them earlier. I was waiting for the right time. Which never came!