To ask what age you had your DC and whether in hindsight would you have had them earlier/younger?

[EllaBellax]

DH and I are keen to start a family. Keen to hear from others who have been there and done it what they would now consider the 'perfect age' to have DC

39 & 41.

I. Am. Fucking. Knackered.

There is zero family support at this age. Zero. You're just assumed to be able to cope cos you're a proper grown up with your own house.

Also, they have only one grandparent cos they're all dead. So there's that.

However financially things are ok and it's nice to have had twenty solid years of partying. Haven't missed out on a damn thing.

But OMG so knackered......

I was 17 and 24.
At 17 I was too young but, selfishly, I wouldn't change it. I was starting to go down the wrong path, I would uave dropped out of uni and ended up a wreck if DS hadn't come along. Instead I bucked up, graduated and worked hard. DS and I have a brilliant relationship and are very close, he knows I've worked hard and my career has never taken a hit as a result.

With DS2 I'm 24. Still early on in my career so I can go back and work up, own a home and have a good relationship.

I'm happy with my ages, I'm young enough to keep up with the kids; young enough to progress my career without maternity leave impacting it; in a good position emotionally and financially; and once my kids are older and self-sufficient OH and myself will be young enough to travel, enjoy nights out and holidays etc.

32,34,36.

It was easy in my 30's. Finding it tiring with teenagers in my 50's.

I think I would be seriously struggling if I had had them later. Wish I had them in my late 20's, I think that would have been perfect.

I was 34 when I had DD. I was ready from around 30, but my work situation was a bit uncertain for a couple of years and I wanted to wait until I was in a permanent job. I don't feel this is the wrong age for me - I've got a career I'm proud of, and financially we're doing ok. The bigger thing for me is with hindsight thinking we should have got on the property ladder earlier!

I was 30 when I had my twins. DH was 29.

It was the right time for us. Both had established well paid careers. Both had enjoyed being young and carefree and done a lot during that time.

They'll leave in September and I'll be 48, which still feels young enough to throw myself into my new life.

All good. That said I'm sure it would have been fine to have my SC sooner. Wouldn't have wanted to wait longer though.

We had 5 children between 17 and 30.

When we are 48 we will have 5 adult dc. (Touch wood)

I wouldn't change a thing.

My children have a relationship with their great-grandparents and grandparents which is nice (we don't get any help with childcare or babysitting though as our parents still work full time and our grandparents are elderly) I mention it because lots of people assume we have help on tap.

I don't think there is an ideal age.

39 & 41.

I Am. Fucking. Knackered.

There is zero family support at this age. Zero. You're just assumed to be able to cope cos you're a proper grown up with your own house.

Yes I agree with that - also caring for elderly parents at the same time as growing children is exhausting too!

31 and 36.

I would like the energy of youth but I don't regret spending my 20s travelling, going out with friends and having fun when I had the energy for all nighters!

I've just turned 34 and will start trying this autumn (probably!). If I knew I would get pregnant straight away I would probably leave it until i'm 40 but I'm factoring in my age and it probably taking a few years to get pregnant...

I don't take it as a guaranteed we will be able to have a child as how do you know until you try!

Early 30s. Age wasn't really something I considered when I started ttc my first. It was more about being in a stable relationship. Married. Paid off debts. Those things mattered more to me.

Wouldn't have been ready to start any earlier due to not meeting DH till late 20s. I do wonder if ttc would've been quicker if we'd been younger when we'd met, but we'll never know. I am happy with how things have worked out for us, but I'm glad we didn't leave it any longer before ttc!

35 and 37. Perfect for me. Career well developed and got travel etc out of my system.

Interesting that some of the older mothers say they are tired. On another thread I said that I was fine until DC 3 was 7 And I was 50, and got shouted down by people saying they had late babies and they were fine.
I had mine at 23, 24 and 43. Love them all, but number 3 has turned out to be harder work than the other two put together!

25 and 28. Planned the gap and didn't want children in my 30s. For me, this was the perfect age and I don't regret it

21, 23 and 25. My husband is 10 years older than me and we had been together 4 years when we had our first so didn't exactly rush. I'm happy that I've had my children when I have. Three children under 5 is pretty tiring and my 14 year old stepson is here sunday-thursday so its a full house! I don't know if I'd have the energy to be doing this in ten years time

I wish I'd started a family very young, then I may have been able to have more 😢 I was still only 26 when I had my one and only daughter.

There's never a perfect time! DS was a surprise, pg at 24 and planning to get pg at 25, had him at 25. DS2 is due in Nov, I'll be a couple of weeks younger than 28. So pretty average! Excited that by the time I'm 50 I'll have a 25 year old who I bloody well hope will be fully indpendent Will also have a 23 year old and hopefully a 19/20 year old if all goes to plan!

*39 & 41.

I Am. Fucking. Knackered.

There is zero family support at this age. Zero. You're just assumed to be able to cope cos you're a proper grown up with your own house. *

Whaaaat? I was a proper grown up with my own house at 23. Live far away from family so no day to day support (am 27 now). C'est a vie.

35 and 37. Infertility delayed us. Early 30's would have been about right for us.

I was 29, 30 and 33. That was perfect for me.

Had my first at 23 and my second recently at 33 so I have experienced both sides of the coin .
I would say my basic ideas on parenting such as routine , weaning etc are the same as they were ten years ago . I myself am a little (not a lot ) more relaxed . The pregnancy was no harder being ten years older I don't think and I've got my figure back the same as I did (aside from an issue with c section wound but that's not relevant ) .
So I guess I would say if you have both been on all the holidays or had all the experiences you wanted to as a relaxed couple then go for it .

41 and 43. I didn't meet the right person until then. I'm tired but the kids are still little and don't sleep so not sure it's an age thing. I wasn't ready until I was late 30's and didn't meet my partner until I was 40.

I didn't expect family support as when first two DCs were little we were a long way from family, but when we stayed with DiLs my DMiL was a fantastic grandma, and did loadsx with the DCs. By the time DC3 came along they had moved near us for support and DMiL could only hold him if he was placed in her arms. Consequently DC3 feels as though he only had one grandparent (my DM), because my DF was also very elderly.

28. It was a good age for me.

I've just turned 33 and hoping to start a family this year. I wasn't ready until early 30s because I didn't want to be tied down during my 20s. I've travelled and partied and been with my husband for nearly 9 years, its been great fun!

The main thing for me has been making sure we were secure when starting a family. Waiting has meant we have been able to buy a family home (which I hope will be filled with our own family over the next few years).

35. Wished I'd started earlier and there would have been a chance to have another child.

Also my parents and dh's parents have been dead or frail for a few years now (they were fine when ds was born but all aged quickly on the years shortly after) so ds hasn't had close relationships with them. I am also realising now its possible I won't become a gp until I'm in my mid 60's at least.