To ask what age you had your DC and whether in hindsight would you have had them earlier/younger?

[EllaBellax]

DH and I are keen to start a family. Keen to hear from others who have been there and done it what they would now consider the 'perfect age' to have DC

Totally agree there is no perfect age, everybody is different.

I had my first at just gone 18 (unplanned). I honest would not have changed that if I could, saying that I have a 17 year old daughter (she is pretty much the age I was when I fell pregnant and I would say she is way to young) Had my second at 24 (planned) and had my third at 35 (planned). Obviously I have been in totally different stages of my life for each one, still in school living at home for first, not long married and living in own home for second and getting on a bit for third . Would not change any of the timings at all, I have loved having them so far apart.
I also now have a granddaughter who I look after a few days a week and it makes me feel tired like I am too old for this , I am only 41!!

29, 31 and 34.

Had a lot of complications in my first pregnancy. Final pregnancy was text book. Would have loved another one but feel too kanckered now (38) so wish I had started a bit younger.

I had my only at 23, age was fine, the guy was not!
She's 16 this year and I'm 40 and it's good, it's only ever been the two of us and we are both happy with that.

Had mine at 28, which was always my "plan", because I wanted some adult years to just 'do me', and wanted to be in a more stable position in life. Would have been better had I not spent those adult years skint and unable to do the things I wanted to pre-kids! No regrets on timing, I still have good time to have a second child and possibly third child before 35 and got to get the partying and drinking out of my system prior.

I had my first at 19 and second at 21, obviously I don't regret it for a second but I definitely wish I'd been a bit older, more financially stable, and had generally just lived a bit first
Had my third at 26 and thought that was quite a nice age to have a baby, would've liked to have started around there I think

I had my first at 18 and was too young. I now have 4 and I'm still under 30. I'm happy I have them all young though, as there's no way I'd cope with 4 in ten years time! I have some health issues that are degenerative so I'm happy to have them. My younger I had at 23 and 25 and that felt right and I'm not judged as a young mum by other mothers now

30 and 33.
I started wanting a baby at around 26, but now exH wasn't ready.

I had DS1 at 35 and DS2 at 36. Wouldn't change anything, I wasn't ready before then.

I'm now 37 and my only concern is that if I want another baby (still not sure) I would probably have to have another smallish gap. If I was younger I would wait a bit longer but I feel a bit of pressure to decide as I personally don't want to have a baby at 40+

Was 27 (am now 28). Have one friend with a child but she lives a long way away and that is what I regret really. I get very envious when I see other parents seeing family and friends who also have children as we are the first in our family and friend groups so I would advise letting some friends or family go first

However we have made it work at our age and I wouldn't change it now but the first year was very lonely.

I had mine at 24, 26 and (unexpectedly, just as I was ready to retrain) 32. However, it means that when DD starts school I'll be 37 and hopefully not too old to restart my career. There have been times when I wished I'd waited - I was a good few years ahead of my friends having kids, so they established themselves in careers which they could then go back to, whereas my career hadn't even got off the ground before I had children. However, I'm glad not to be starting now, as I don't think I'd have the energy.

Agree there's no perfect age. Finding the right person to have them with is the most important.

I had my dc aged 31 and 35. I'm glad it wasn't any younger as that'd mean I'd have dc with my dickhead ex.

I had DD at 38. I spent a long time travelling and working all over the place. Left the rat race behind at 35 and almost immediately met my now DH.

He's older than me. I'm now 41. I would love another. He thinks we are too old. Looking at this thread he's probably right

I can't regret it though. It's not like I was in a position to have her any earlier since there was no significant other!

29 and 32 with mine. Would definitely have helped me career wise if I'd waited a bit longer, maybe a couple of years - we felt as many upthread have said that there would be no "right time" so let things happen as they would. Ironically had I waited longer I might have been in the position to seriously consider a 3rd. The last few years I've thought about it a lot but I wouldn't have coped at the time that might otherwise have made sense. Now 44 and the need to see the demanding side of babies and small children to be reminded of what I don't miss about them is starting to diminish.

17 and 21. 1st planned, 2nd unplanned surprise. I don't think it's age or money that are most important but support. I love the ages my dc are now as they are teen/approaching teens and quite self sufficient, and being young-ish with them was honestly amazing. Sometimes it was tough (still is) but nothing I faced was related to age. But, I was always a very "mummy" person then. I couldn't imagine having a baby now (33) and wouldn't want one.

Someone in my family, between the ages of 15 and I think 21, had 4 kids. She's continued studying/working, is married, stable and by all accounts is a fantastic mum.

It'll be right when you feel it is, everyone is different.

I had ds at 31 and dd at 32. We started a family quite early into our relationship (we'd been together 2 years when I caught on and had been living together a matter of months) because I had a cancer scare and we decided that there was little point in waiting.

I wish I had been ten years younger because I look at my siblings with their dc who are teens or young adults and now they're talking of buying houses/paying off mortgages/going for better jobs and promotions etc and I'm stuck here with two young dc, no money, a rented house and a limited income. I'm not going to be 'free' until my late forties now. Having said that, I'm glad I waited until I met my husband and that I didn't have children with any of my exes - I'd hate to be tied to any of them in any way.

I wish I'd have spent my 20s actually living rather then holding myself back. I wish I'd bought my house/worked my way up/fine traveling etc then, when I could. For now I feel like I wasted an entire decade of my life doing fuck all and am now stuck for another decade at least.

No perfect time but fertility drops off rapidly from 36. If you have decided that you want children delaying it after mid 30s is taking a risk .

36 when I had my first. In some respects it would have been nice to have been younger as I'd get more time with him when he's an adult, but I wasn't ready. I think I would have resented having a baby younger - I have a well established career which I would have torpedoed with an earlier family, and I had my husband to myself for 12 years, so I was finally ready to share!

I was 38. It was a bit too late for us (no chance of number 2 now - we both wanted 2). I was 34 when we started ttc and for me 34/35 would have been pretty much perfect, but infertility got in the way.

40 and 43. Far later than I wished because of failed previous relationships with men including those men not wanting/ ambivalent about children. Didn't meet "the one"until I was nearly 39.

I am now 44 and starting to feel my age e.g. get aches and pains and tire more easily and less adventurous. I look and feel middle aged. If I had been able to and knew what I knew now I would have liked to have had children by early thirties max, ideally twenties. Frankly I worry about being an older fuddy duddy mother in looks and personality. I lavish love and attention on my kids and just hope they will not feel the age gap as much as I fear. Based on my own feelings I would advise if asked to have kids earlier. Although you may get the sense of losing your youth, you are likely to get your freedom back in your 40s.

I was 39 & 41 when I had mine. I started ttc at 22, gave up ttc at 37 and fell pregnant 2 years later.

The only issues with the age I had them is that all their cousins are now in their 30's and second cousins are all under 5, so they don't have any family members the same age as them.

Other than that life is pretty good!

Had my DD at 30, wish I'd have started earlier but happy that she's here now, and still don't think I'm anymore tired now than I was at 25, if anything I found it harder to get out of bed pre-DD as I knew I didn't have to get up for anyone!

I had dd1 at 23, dd2 at 29 and dd3 (3 days ago!) at 30. I'll hopefully have another in 4 or 5 years time.

Its been prefect for me.

This is really interesting