Highly paid job but burnt out

[yellowflowerpillowcase]

I already know IABU but I just feel like quitting tomorrow.

I know this is a very good problem to have and believe me I started out on the bottom rung and have had many skint years. I know there are people out there who hate their jobs and are not well paid.

I work in the health field and have worked my way up in my profession. I work 4 days a week partly because of DCs at primary school and partly because I can't bear to be there any more than that, in fact I can hardly bear to be there at all.

The problem is that I know I am burnt out. It saps the life out of me (the system/ organisational stuff mainly). The parts that I used to love about the job are a smaller part of the role and I feel worn down by it. I'm not depressed. When I am not at work for any length of time I feel great. When I have time off it almost makes it worse because I feel like me again and then when I go back, its like going under a black cloud and I lose all my motivation.

I am too well paid to just turn up tomorrow and hand in my notice. My DH earns about half my salary and his contract is not permanent. We have bills to pay and I just can't be that selfish. If I train again as anything else, I will take a massive pay-cut and that will affect the whole family both now and in the future.

Has anyone been through something like this and found another way? Has anyone burnt out from a "great career" but not ruined things for their family? I know this probably sounds incredibly spoiled and first world problem and I guess it is but I don't know how normal it is to be so miserable in a career but see no other way.

Perhaps we need to accept that there are some jobs, particularly in public services, that can only be done for a certain amount of time? I burned out in education and now work pt in a related field. Agree with the poster up-thread that I am a different, better person. My only regret is that I didn't leave a bit sooner.

NHS careers has quite a useful page with an A - Z of every possible job. Might be worth a browse?

I now take the 'tortoise' approach to work - work part-time at a slower pace with the intention of keeping going for as long as possible...

Do the maths around what happens to your salary if you drop a further day or session. It might be better to do that than give up altogether if you have no concrete plan.

Yes I agree with you maybedoctor that some jobs are just hard to do full-time and long-term. I think I do also need to take a similar tortoise approach. But it does mean I effectively put myself onto a lower salary. I guess I just never thought of any of this at the start.

Totally agree Maybedoctor. Some jobs (at least for me) are only possible short term. In fact once I accepted that I felt better and could plan for the future.

I have accepted that as much as possible but will always feel a bit sad. I know others manage them long term but for me the stress and sacrifice would be too much.

I find this thread really sad, that so many people are struggling in their roles. It should have been me but I baled out early with chronic ill health and tend to feel that (15 years on) I just haven't achieved anything in comparison to my peers in the same role. But seeing this makes me realise that it isn't the be all and end all to be in a high flying career (and I am incredibly lucky that my OH still does what I did and absolutely loves it so there is no financial pressure) so perhaps I was lucky in some perverse way. And there are people who I know who feel the same as you guys-desperately want a route out but are stuck because of financial commitments. But also others (many teachers) who have taken the plunge, changed their lives and are still solvent and far happier. I hope you can all find a way to make the changes you need to be happier.

Thank you holeintheground for your very kind words. I agree it is a sad thread I have started here, I didn't really think anyone would even respond but it has made me realise it must be a pretty common situation. I guess things aren't so black and white as we think. I thought I had a career and could keep going with it and now I need to come up with a plan B. I too hope that there are good alternatives out there and wish everyone else on here who is struggling lots of luck x

yellow, it is a hugely, hugely common situation in my area (HCP). Not sure if that will make you feel better or worse!

It helps me to have an exit plan in five years, although in practical terms I will probably financially find it will need to be 7 - DH accepts I will need to leave my field by then. I figure if I need one more job change by then, that will see me through. But you sound like you need a break - and are a talented person who can pick things back up. Could you look at doing something occasional like CQC inspections while you have a break, to keep your professional skills in (have no idea if this is possible).

I have been out of healthcare (GP) for four years and now considering getting back to it. In the past four years, I have changed countries, started a masters in a different field, went into research on the side, and while I enjoyed it, now I find myself missing healthcare. I actually know what I want to be in the future (intersection of my new field and medicine) if I will get the chance. But thinking about it seems so exhausting.

I was wondering how you're doing yellow ? I hope the time off over summer has helped

So many people in healthcare feeling strapped by bureaucracy and a system that they feel works against them.

Can none of you pull together the arguments about how this detrimentallly affects other humans and put forward some apolitical solutions. There would be so much more support for that sort of positive action than there was of the junior doctors strike.

I hope you are feeling better OP. Have you thought about occupational health under the umbrella of a private provider? I also can't help wondering whether your DH could take on some more. Another option might be to do some ordinary office work or seasonal shifts to keep the wolf from the door while you think about it.

I do agree though that so many trusts, CCGs , etc seem totally dysfunctional and exist to produce self justifying paperwork to butt cover.

I might not be as well paid as you and i certainly wasnt in the past but ive always done ok. Ive definitely been in same boat as in ive worked hard, studied and got tge experience in a field that works its staff so hard they end up really burnt out.

Loads of mainly women that I know eventually get sick of butting their heads against the glass ceiling and get really frustrated and start looking elsewhere but the fact is that we just can't move out (accountancy, professional services) and get as well paid.

What helped me was going first of all part time 4 days, but didn't solve the problem because my organisation was toxic and I had too much history built up there. I moved from one of the largest of the firms in the field to a medium firm and I am much happier because the team and the culture are much nicer.

Have you tried going down from 4 days to 3 days could you afford to do that?

It might be unrealistic to suggest but why don't you talk to your management and explain some of how you are feeling. Don't exactly threaten to leave. Suggest work ways to work around it, in particular, some of the operational changes that you might want them to implement, or, for something that affects just you, how about working from home one day a week or even two days a week?

What frustrates me is that when I have previously spoken to senior people about how stressed I am or how my job is becoming unbearable ( not putting those terms of course) is that often I am told 'this is the case for everybody, therefore you have to put up with it'. Rather than saying 'clearly there was a problem, lots of people have this problem, we need to address this problem'!

I am in the same boat, I am too highly paid to be able to leave my job as am dependant on the money now, but it makes me physically sick from stress.

I was you... Burnt out, exhausted working mother... Felt trapped by lifestyle choices which had been made by me mostly based mostly on my income. Felt I couldn't stop and change family's lifestyle. I found moving away from outward facing role and onto different area but same profession helped. Also did this p/t and my old job p/t... Found I fell back in love with D job. Pm me if you need any help or want more info... If I say anymore I will out myself as I now do a rather niche role.