AIBU to believe my employee?

[Urubu]

An employee of mine asked for a day off as one of her husband's relatives relatives has passed and they wanted to attend the funeral. She had already used all of her annual leave but I said she could take it off and just make the hours up there and then so she would still be paid. She told me the date of the funeral approx 10d in advance.
Now DH is saying funerals are planned quicker than this so maybe she lied about why she wanted the time off.
So, AIBU to trust her and believe there can be 10 days between a death and the funeral?

It will depend on the number of deaths locally at the time, whether a post mortem was needed, plus some people will wait for close family to be able to travel

I'd believe her, she's not given you cause not to

Not sure why you're discussing private HR related stuff with your husband

Was there really any need for this snippy comment?

Month between my dads death and his funeral, he did die abroad though and had to be flown home. Just been to my elderly cousins funeral yesterday, he died at Easter or just after

Depending on circumstances of death and availability for the service, I've known everything from a few days between death and funeral to nearly 8 weeks.

There were 13 days between my DMs passing and her funeral, and 24 days between my GDFs due to people having to travel from the USA and Oz. I don't think 10 days is particularly unusual.

Not sure why you're discussing private HR related stuff with your husband

Why the bitchy comment, people do speak of work outside of the office, more so if it's a family business, also as the OP is the employer, possibly her dh is also.

My nan died on 1st January her funeral was held 2 weeks later mixture of it being new years day when she died and because it was part of her pre paid funeral plan that she didn't want to be viewed so the hospital held on to her body for a bit longer than usual. My uncle on the other hand died on 19th March his funeral was held 11 days later. Guess it all depends on the circumstances and when the funeral home can do the funeral.

Seriously?! When my dad passed we either had to pick 11 days after his passing or wait another 2 more weeks. Given he died on a Saturday and organising it we had 5 days to throw it all together. My grans- I had to wait 3 weeks. My grandad the same. It's the norm in the U.K. (unless you're not Ireland and it can happen in 3 days)

The last funeral I attended (earlier this year) took place nearly three weeks after the death - there were no suspicious circumstances, the deceased was 96 years old.

5 weeks before we could bury my Mother .... so there is NO standard time limit .. your Husband is wrong

Out of interest is there any maximum time limit on when a burial or cremation has to take place?

Irish Catholics like to do it on the third day. But in England 1 2 3 4 weeks are normal.

If she makes the hrs up then does it even matter?

For a crematorium funeral round here you can wait up to 3 weeks, as it's so busy.

My uncles took 4 weeks from death.
Nothing unusual - old man, several known health complaints, died as a result.
Times have changed a bit. I reckon 20yrs ago it was quicker.
My aunt was told that it was a busy time(Feb this yr).

There can indeed be a long wait here. In Ireland you will usually be buried in 2 days, sometimes it's delayed a bit to allow people to travel. After losing both my parents, I can't imagine how you manage such long waits before the funeral, it is such a strange period of limbo. But I would give your employee the benefit of the doubt, why would she lie? If she was taking the piss why not just phone in sick in the morning and say she has noro virus. But instead she has asked, and given plenty of notice.

3 weeks delay for my elderly neighbour. This was caused by an accident leading to hospitalisation and 2/3 of his DC having holidays booked. The 3rd DC didn't want them to have to cancel. The whole family gave him a lovely, thoughtful, sincere funeral, as he deserved.

It depends where you are. Two people in my extended family died on the same day recently. In Scotland, the first funeral was on day 5 after the death. In England it was 16 days after the death and both were 'normal' arrangements ie. no post mortem or similar.

10 days is rather quick tbh.
Pretty much every funeral I've ever been to has taken place 2 to 3 weeks after the death.

Depends on cause of death, time of year, Bank Hols...
If it is a cancer death, there is usually no post mortem. If is is a suspected heart attack a post mortem is required. 10 days is quite normal. I have often observed funerals taking place up to 3 weeks after death. Trust your employee.

It will differ according to religion, I think, as well as location.
An Aunt of mine died last year, and the funeral was 5 days later. A friend's father died abroad (in the Caribbean) and the funeral took place a week afterwards. When a close relative of mine died two years ago, the funeral was almost a month later.

another point - funerals can be later for a specified reason. i went to one recently that was least 4 weeks later because it was held on what would have been their 80th birthday.

It was easily that long between my grandma's death and her funeral. Partly because it was a lot easier to delay her funeral than try to swap out of my night shifts....

Urubu the normal amount of time is 10-14 days. But it could be a lot longer, weeks longer.

Some companies will offer bereavement leave so the time taken for attending a funeral would not need to be made up.

In your shoes I'd trust your employee, she is making up the time anyway so you aren't really missing out.

Plus, unless your husband works for the company it doesn't seem appropriate for him to be passing judgment on your employee's personal business and time off requests. I'd feel it was very inappropriate if my boss consulted his wife about my time off.

In some areas the crematoriums are booked up for weeks. I queried the long wait for a funeral (I'm from overseas where the average wait is 7 days and was told it's not unusual here. Last one I went to was over 3 weeks ( no complicating factors re cause of death etc)