To think that discipline has gone mad?

[FaintlyBaffled]

These past two days I've had two instances which have left me a bit WTF
The first one involves DS's best friend (they're 13) who has been punished by the school and his DM for what I would consider an act of childish behaviour, typical of young teenage boys. The crime actually made me snigger a little and I truly don't think I would have had it in me to do more than roll my eyes at DS if it was him. I would also have considered the school to be very high handed but that's another gripe

Today DS has made a slightly odd decision in deciding to walk to school as the bus never turned up. No harm done, he knows the route and has walked it many times when we're out with the dogs- it doesn't even involve crossing any roads (though it's the best part of three miles) The problem is he took two 11yo's with him, both of whose parents are furious as technically they were "missing" for about 30 minutes. Now we live in a quiet rural area and the children all had mobile phones (which none of them thought to use) and were obviously together. As far as I'm concerned it's a piece of poor judgment, not a hangable offence.
I've never really considered myself a soft parent (and DS would certainly never say I was) but I don't think IABU to just shrug my shoulders at this and carry on my day as normal!

Op said the 11 year olds had phones but didn't think to use them

If the parents are happy to leave 11yr olds at bus stop then I don't see the issue - school should have known bus didn't turn up - certainly 3miles at 11 and not crossing a road isn't even vaguely troubling - would they rather the kids sat at the bus stop for a few hours until they decided the bus wasn't coming and then did what?

At 10 I was using public bus to get to grans after school and regularly walked the 2miles to save bus fare for sweets. I got into trouble eventually but only because I'd dragged my 5yr old sister along with me so we had twice as many chews.

As for graffiti in a mates notebook - why wouldn't you - it's training for male bonding

First one, it wasn't school property so anything more than being told to stop/put book away etc seems a bit much. If only that was the worst thing most teenage boys do !

Second one, the younger kids parents should have had a conversation telling their kids what to do if the bus doesn't arrive. If they hadn't, then that's their bad planning. If they had and their kids chose to not follow what their parents have said to do if the bus doesn't turn up, then the parents need to take that up with their children. It's not your child's fault, unless he forced them , which seems unlikely.

Re the title of your thread, I think the discipline in this behaviour policy would probably be a bit much for my liking
mcsbrent.co.uk/policies/
I thought dc school was quite strict in year 7, but have got used to it and it's probably necessary. It's not like the above school though.

yes, good post Beryl

Yep I agree ott. Also I don't even think walking to school with the two 11year olds was poor judgement. Wasn't it common sense to walk together if they have missed the bus? They are old enough to text parents if it was really necessary bit surely they are old enough to walk to school aged 11??

I think Beryl has made good points about your DS's friend's graffiti being a last straw type situation. Maybe others in the class have been similarly silly and the school and teacher have just had enough?

The parents of the 11 year olds need to take up the walking to school with them, not your DS. Yes a 13 year old should have thought to tell them to check with their parents first, but then again, so should the 11 year olds - if they are old enough to have phones and be left at a bus stop on their own. Either they are sensible enough and didn't - which is on them, or they are not, in which case the parents should be seeing them onto the bus.

OP I agree with you.
Incident 1 - if it's his own property don't really see why he can't draw whatever the fuck he likes on it, with the proviso it's not actually hate speech or similar. Don't see what on earth it has to do with the school if he defaces his own stuff. The trend when I was in school was to have all sorts of random rude/insulting things drawn over pencil cases and school bags - drawing dicks on things, while not the epitome of intellectual humour has been a mindless thing for the last 2000 years so don't see it going away anytime soon. Seriously struggling to work out what negative impact it could possibly have on anyone else

Incident 2 - again, nothing to do with your son at all. He was not responsible for the other kids.I can understand their parents being annoyed at the school, maybe, but nothing to do with him. As previous poster said, presumably they would also have been unhappy if he'd walked off and left them alone!

Completely OTT.
A daft drawing of a cock is nowt, I'd have inwardly laughed too, whilst giving a boring parental lecturebof not drawingnon someone else's book blah blah.
The second incident, dear god they were walking in daylight for half an hour, not trekking a mountain at midnight.

YANBU.

HorridHenryrule

I would have been mortified that my child never told me what was going on, anything could have happened. I would have felt like I underestimated my child and proud that my child could make a good decision to make there way to school.

^^^ Yes anything did happen.....they walked to school - big deal!!! They are 11 years old for god's sake! I'd be bloody worried if they couldn't get themselves to school at that age.
How are kids supposed to learn independence if they can't even be trusted to make a very simple decision of walking to school if they've missed the bus. Totally OTT!

What is the "anything could have happened" anyway?
What do you imagine it to be?

Well in the latest update, both 11yo's are left to get to school independently as the parents have already left for work. I suppose contingency plans weren't in place because the bus always turns up as it's a council contract and if it didn't, we live in a small village where everyone knows everyone so lifts are easy to come by (except this morning obviously)
In further news, DS is currently streaking ahead in today's episode of our family Fitbit steps challenge

So what is the discipline gone mad aspect of your son walking with the 11 year olds? I don't think you've said

Gosh, he sounds like a teen delinquent.
My sloth teenager barely walks the length of herself unless she has to.

Blimey01

Its only been me and my partner my family isn't interested so I have felt over protective of them over the years. I have let them go now that they are 13 and 11 because I trust that they will contact me if there is ever a problem. I have to know where they are and what they are doing they are children not adults and I want to keep my children innocent for as long as possible. You can say I am OTT but there is to much fuckery go on in the world for me to care less about what you think about what I chose to do with my children.