to put a note on communal door regarding my baby!

[Yolannnda]

I would really love a consensus of whether I am reasonable or being a bit precious

I live in a block of 6 flats, with a communal front door, it is a very big heavy door and we are the flat groundfloor, right next to it. My bedroom (where the babies cot is currently) is the room closest to the door.

Everyone who opens the door (the tenants/owners, postman, visitors etc. let the door slam after them which results in a very loud bang, if it is the postman then this is two loud bangs a few minutes apart. With the window open in this heat we also have to listen to visitors shout into the intercom.

I accept there are times shutting the door softly isnt easy, postman/large deliveries but this is every person so atleast every half an hour and it is driving me mad. Today I have tried to put the baby down to sleep 4 times and everytime she is asleep for a few minutes then bang the door and shes crying. I have a DS who has spent no time with me today as I have spent most of it comforting/settling the baby and Im at my wits end!!

WIBU to put a note on the door asking visitors to close it softly??

The baby can only sleep in that room until we can move as DS's room is too small for the cot.

We had to do this because of one set of short term tenants but iirc we put the note in baby's bedroom window rather than on the communal door. In our case it was that people were standing there smoking and having drunken chats very late at night, so our note asked them to move further away.

I think asking about soft close is a good idea and tbh I'm surprised it isn't already fitted: the auto close doors are usually supposed to be soft close and might only need five minutes with a screwdriver to be far quieter.

This comes with living in a ground floor flat I'm afraid. You can't expect everyone else to tiptoe around you.

I think it has to be done on the closer. If you add a separate buffer it may fail to latch. yes PigletJohn and also as I said it is probably a fire door. Honestly, posters telling OP to suck up it have clearly never heard a poorly adjusted communal fire door slamming! It is REALLY loud.

OP,

No, you're being perfectly reasonable.
(Though definitely investigate/ push for the door to be properly fixed).

(Plus you may be doing a favour for other flat dwellers there also experiencing the same to a lesser degree: my last apartment wasn't right by the communal front door, like yours, but when the street door slammed, it nevertheless reverberated really badly right through the entire [very old] building.
Friends on the ground floor with toddlers had a nightmare, and it was them that got the ball rolling).

It's one thing for babies to learn to sleep through noise, but it's the actual bone-shaking vibration as well as a loud bang that upsets them more.
Especially when repeated over and over.

Your best bet is visual and simple, which sinks in far better with some people.

Maybe combining these 2 images (or similar), and an added "Thank you" beneath? Obviously not an A4-size eyesore...a small version at eye-level will do the job fine.

If you don't feel able to discuss fully with the other residents, which can be tricky when you're new, leave a communal note in front hall mentioning that you're having popping in and out to do some work over the next few days/ week...you hope the other flat dwellers don't mind the temporary sign on door, but you thought it sensible reminding the not to disturb anyone else, by not realising how the banging door noise/ vibrations carry...(NDNs might take the hint).

Nobody in that building took the least offence, when those parents resorted to similar: luckily, we're all rational adults, and didn't all jump on the defensive if something got drawn (politely) to anyone's attention...closing a door more quietly is hardly major inconvenience, FFS, yet can make radical difference to the other person suffering (and prevent simmering resentment leading to all-out NDN wars, let's face it. And in turn gives you leverage if/ when something they're doing might need tackling).

Often tends to be the visitors of the actual tenants, hence permanent reminder useful...leave your "temporary" sign in place until someone else removes it.

Suppose you could try asking whoever's most approachable round for coffee, casually ensuring they experience for themself just how loud it is (coincide the time for peak foot traffic in and out, and just happen to be showing them something in that room etc).

Good luck.

I honestly found it tortuous towards the end of my time living there, I had to move because of it.

Not U to put up a request.if people don't follow it also try to understand that it may be that others forget, might be carrying stuff or like me have a disability which means that I might not be able to hold a heavy door and shut quietly. (I'm in ground floor flat but luckily my bedroom isn't immediately next to the main door.

If you rent contact your landlord/management company to see if they can get the door altered or you could approach the Council yourself.

The door doesn't belong to you so don't start any changes yourself whether you own/buying or rent. The communal parts of the building are owned by the freeholder. It is likely to be the Council. It may be a fire door or the freeholders may just not be willing to change it.

Agree Heman, we had to have ours readjusted at work because it had come slightly out of place so the soft closer wasn't working and it was deafening.

I also can't understand why people are saying 'you chose to live there' as if OP had a choice between this flat and a sprawling country estate. Most people have to make compromises and don't chose to live next to a loud door and then complain. They just way up the pros and cons and go with the best option.

It's one thing for babies to learn to sleep throughnoise, but it's the actual bone-shakingvibrationas well as a loud bang that upsets them more.
Especially when repeated over and over.

This exactly. Im not one to tiptoe around when baby is asleep and there is always background noise, people chatting in the communal hall, DS chatting, me cleaning etc. but I dont think many could sleep through how loud this is, especially an easily startled baby. The door is a metre away from the bedroom window and its only a thin wall between the door/communal hall and the bedroom.