to put a note on communal door regarding my baby!

[Yolannnda]

I would really love a consensus of whether I am reasonable or being a bit precious

I live in a block of 6 flats, with a communal front door, it is a very big heavy door and we are the flat groundfloor, right next to it. My bedroom (where the babies cot is currently) is the room closest to the door.

Everyone who opens the door (the tenants/owners, postman, visitors etc. let the door slam after them which results in a very loud bang, if it is the postman then this is two loud bangs a few minutes apart. With the window open in this heat we also have to listen to visitors shout into the intercom.

I accept there are times shutting the door softly isnt easy, postman/large deliveries but this is every person so atleast every half an hour and it is driving me mad. Today I have tried to put the baby down to sleep 4 times and everytime she is asleep for a few minutes then bang the door and shes crying. I have a DS who has spent no time with me today as I have spent most of it comforting/settling the baby and Im at my wits end!!

WIBU to put a note on the door asking visitors to close it softly??

The baby can only sleep in that room until we can move as DS's room is too small for the cot.

do what SouthChina says. it works

Really surprised by people thinking it's U to leave a note - when I was in apartment accommodation every single place I lived had a sign similar to "please close the door quietly, thank you!" It just gives people that reminder that they may not hear it from their flat but others do.

Anyhow, I guess a soft-closer would work better but maybe a sign in the meantime?

Does the door already have a closer ? The arm hinge thing at the top?
If so they are adjustable, there will be a screw you can turn, it may have come loose and need tightening.

I would but then I'm also happy to hurt anyone who wakes my sleeping baby

We lived in a flat next to the main front door and the banging in the middle of the night made me jump out of my skin, every time!

I wouldn't bother explaining about the baby, a polite note asking people not to slam the door would be reasonable enough. To be fair as a childless person I wouldn't think it was a problem unless I saw a sign up to remind me - especially when I've had a few!

I'd not mention a baby. People seem to be very negative about children in the uk. I think it's fine to just write a note saying please close the door quietly it really echoes in some of the flats. Thank you. Or similar.

And others say sort a soft close mechanism

Fine to leave a genuinely polite note saying that you would be very grateful if people could avoid letting the door slam as much as possible. If it's annoying to you (and your baby!), it's almost certainly annoying to other tenants too, so you are probably doing everyone a favour.

Whatever you do, don't start the polite note with "Polite Note" though - the most PA phrase in the English language!

Yeah, I'd keep your baby out of your note and just ask people to close the door quietly where possible.

I had a serious axe to grind with a neighbour who felt the need to mow his fucking lawn every other mother fucking evening in the summer when my colicky newborn was at his most miserable. None of my (silent) rantings over that ever ended in anything like as reasonable as a gently worded note!

YANBU or precious.
People don't always realise the amount of of noise they are making when you live in a flat.
My OH used to get in late off shift, let the door slam and then thump up the stairs. He was clueless till my neighbours begged him to be a bit quieter.
That kind of regular but unpredictable noise can drive you potty.

I expect it has a closer. If it is the sort with an articulated arm with an elbow, fixed to the top of the door, it is adjustable. The very old ones used to be filled with damping oil.

Try to get the landlords to have it adjusted.

You can get them with two speeds, so the final close is quiet. They can be surprisingly expensive if they need a new one.

The cheaper and neater closers fit into the edge of the door with a little chain. A slow version is available, but much dearer than the simple one.

www.ironmongerydirect.co.uk/browse/door-closers-and-controls/overhead-door-closers?fh_sort_by=-price

Get a white noise machine. We live in a very noisy block on a main road and this has been a godsend. DS aged 16 months still has it and it covers everything - drilling, sirens etc.

Of course YANBU! We have a similar set up and there is a note on the main door asking that people close it quietly. I didn't put the note there but am perfectly happy to close the door politely and make life easier for my neighbours.

Why on earth would anyone think you were being unreasonable?

I lived in a ground floor flat when my first child was newborn and I found the most irritating thing was being used as the default porter by delivery people. The buzzer would go all bloody day and in the end I did put a note on the door telling people I wasn't going to answer it anymore.

Could the baby nap in a different room during the day?

YWNBU to put the note up, however YWBU to expect everybody to adhere to it. You can ask politely and hope people and are kind and considerate, but they have no obligation to be (unfortunately).

Can you get some foam or felt strips to put along the side of the door so it closes with less of a bang? Just a thought!

YANBU but it won't work - you need to change the closing mechanism on the door if possible

Very simple to fix, move the bedroom in to a different room and ask for a door closer to be fitted.

There isnt any type of closing hinge on it as it is, its just a very heavy door in a normal frame. Im not sure about foam or velcro as it sometimes swells and the heat at the moment might make it too tight!

She has a dream sheep with white noise but nothing can mute the noise, particularly on days like today where the window needs to open as visitors ring the buzzer, it 'rings' the voice comes over the speaker to let them in then it bleeps to say the doors open then if all that doesnt wake her the bang comes shortly after. Then again after theyve dropped off the parcel or whatever. Its just woken her for the last time today so now have to get through the next few hours until bedtime with a grizzly hot baby who is knackered

I am going to write a note leaving the baby out of it, not sure how to word it perhaps short and simple just please close the door softly?

I think the baby aspect is ignored a lot as it does sound precious but its affecting us all as a family as DS will get no time with me today as the baby is now clingy and miserable. And after a long night I needed even 30 mins to chill out a bit.

Could you switch rooms so you and baby (or just baby if they are old enough) are in a room further away from the door?

Yabu

Don't fiddle around with the door yourself. It's likely to be a fire door. Is there a metal plate at the top of the door and on the ground on the hinge side? I can show you photos if you need them of what I mean.

I think a note saying please close the door softly wouldn't be unreasonable as other people surely realise how loud it is and how annoying that could be.

I would leave the baby out of the note, because as you can see on here, some people will think it's reasonable, whereas others do think you're being a bit precious.

YANBU but I agree about leaving the baby off the note. It comes over very 'I chose to move here and I expect you all to change to suit me'. And be prepared for sone people to completely ignore your note regardless. Does he baby have to be in that room?

I doubt people would take any notice of a note by the door. Cleaners would probably remove it on day 1 or else there would be endless "don't slam the door/ leave your bike/ steal my mail/ trod in mud" notices.

Moomin

Great idea about the white noise machine.

My 12 year old sleeps with less disruption this time of year because of the fan in her room. It means I can move around and do stuff without disturbing them.