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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to put a note on communal door regarding my baby!

83 replies

Yolannnda · 19/06/2017 15:43

I would really love a consensus of whether I am reasonable or being a bit precious Blush

I live in a block of 6 flats, with a communal front door, it is a very big heavy door and we are the flat groundfloor, right next to it. My bedroom (where the babies cot is currently) is the room closest to the door.

Everyone who opens the door (the tenants/owners, postman, visitors etc. let the door slam after them which results in a very loud bang, if it is the postman then this is two loud bangs a few minutes apart. With the window open in this heat we also have to listen to visitors shout into the intercom.

I accept there are times shutting the door softly isnt easy, postman/large deliveries but this is every person so atleast every half an hour and it is driving me mad. Today I have tried to put the baby down to sleep 4 times and everytime she is asleep for a few minutes then bang the door and shes crying. I have a DS who has spent no time with me today as I have spent most of it comforting/settling the baby and Im at my wits end!!

WIBU to put a note on the door asking visitors to close it softly??

The baby can only sleep in that room until we can move as DS's room is too small for the cot.

OP posts:
SpringtoSummer · 19/06/2017 17:03

I think it probably depends how you phrase it, I used to walk past a block flats on my work to work and there was a note in the door that just said something like 'Please close the door softly...baby is sleeping'. Sure you could find something non-offensive (but don't expect it to work with everyone).

BasketOfDeplorables · 19/06/2017 17:03

How is OP being unreasonable? Every single flat I've lived in has had a sign saying please don't slam the door.

Toysaurus · 19/06/2017 17:05

Were it not for the fact there are more than six flats in our knock I would think you must be our down stairs neighbour.

We have this problem in our block. The door banging can be heard four floors upwards. The person who lives above it had seriously lost his shit about it.

But it bangs like that so it always closes behind people for security and I guess fire.

I know the doors here are always a matter of contention. Either slamming or being left open.

I try to remember to shut quietly myself, but more often than not I completely forget.

I don't think there is much you can do really. But I completely understand what your going through and what an utter pain in the arse it is.

Original poster
Yolannnda · 19/06/2017 17:08

Yes I think a lot of you are right and we are the only flat with children so they probably wouldn't understand where I'm coming from.

The baby has to be in that room really, there is no room for a cot in the 2nd bedroom (DS's) unless they swapped and I had him in with me and I don't think hed be happy giving up his bedroom! Its not a huge flat so the only other space is the living room and as shes not sleeping through/naps in the day that would be a bit of a nightmare.

OP posts:
19lottie82 · 19/06/2017 17:09

I agree with putting a polite note up, but don't mention the baby. Just ask people if they can try not to let the door slam.

I think this is just one of the downfalls of living in a ground floor flat though, unfortunately.

disastrousflapjack · 19/06/2017 17:11

I'd try contact the Landlord or Council and see if there is anyway they would/could change the mechanism. It has been a problem in every flat I've lived in and it's infuriating with DC. I have noticed though that although my heart skips a beat when the door slams closed yet again, that DGD either sleeps through it or just opens her eyes for a moment at the sudden noise that's woken here and goes back to sleep. It does seem that after a while some children can zone out and not notice it after a while. The same thing happens with the entrance buzzer. I can't believe that DGD doesn't wake up when someone presses it.

I do think people may forget but I don't think a note would harm.

LogicalPsycho · 19/06/2017 17:11

Since it is the entrance to a communal building, Wouldn't putting a slow-close mechanism on the door be a security risk?
Ie, leaving the door to close slowly, anyone could walk in after you..

BorisTrumpsHair · 19/06/2017 17:17

YABU re leaving a note. And it wouldn't make any difference anyway.

You ARE entitled to "quiet enjoyment" of your property however so you need to contact your landlord and get them to sort the door close out.

FanaticalFox · 19/06/2017 17:18

This would annoy me even without a baby! I have a 7 week old DD but from the start we've been getting her used to noise so she'd probably sleep through it. We hoovered and had the tv on as loud as normal during the day so she got used to the difference between day time and night time etc... anyway i digress. Definitely look into getting a soft close fitted for your own sanity not just because of your baby! A slamming door would really grate on me too so i totally understand how you must feel.

PollytheDolly · 19/06/2017 17:18

Not unreasonable at all! That would drive me bonkers, day in, day out.

FanaticalFox · 19/06/2017 17:19

If you don't get any joy from building owner and you can afford it just buy and do it yourself, can't be that expensive or difficult.

londonrach · 19/06/2017 17:21

Yabu. Your baby will get used to it. The pub across the roAd has two dogs that bark 11pm every night. Dd used to wake but now sleeps through it.

Stopnamechanging · 19/06/2017 17:22

I lived in a flat similar to your layout, the constant door banging really started to affect my life, it was day and night.

I don't think YABU

Mammylamb · 19/06/2017 17:23

Yanbu. A polite notice should be fine

Lules · 19/06/2017 17:25

There's a note on our communal door saying please do not bang the door. It makes me think about it when I wouldn't always remember otherwise so it probably does for others too. It seems a perfectly reasonable thing to have a sign about.

kingfishergreen · 19/06/2017 17:25

As Sheraaa said, put a note up, don't mention the baby. Ideally print it out, something very simple like:

Please close the door quietly.

Something that could easily be official, but isn't purporting to be anything other than it is. Personal details (your flat, your baby) undermine your stance.

MatildaTheCat · 19/06/2017 17:27

Jeez, how can a polite note be U? 'Please try to avoid letting the door slam. Your grateful neighbours.'

It's only six flats so even if half the residents were helpful it would be a big help.

Good luck. Try the council but I think you'll be very low on their list of priorities.

MissBax · 19/06/2017 17:29

I don't have any suggestions but just wanted to say yaNbu!! I don't understand why people are so insensitive. I also live in a communal block of flats and really struggle with the noise from neighbours. We are expecting our first in a few months and I'm concerned about it - I never realised how ODD some people are and how bizarrely some people live, until I lived where I do. (Anyway, I digress)!
Definitely try and contact the building management and see whether something can be done, and in the meantime I would put up a polite note.
Good luck, OP!

M00nUnit · 19/06/2017 17:29

There's nothing unreasonable whatsoever about putting up a note politely asking people to close the door quietly. My downstairs neighbours put up a note saying the exact same thing in our flat and I don't think anyone was offended by it! Luckily the building managers have now adjusted the door so it doesn't slam loudly anymore. Good luck!

Original poster
Yolannnda · 19/06/2017 17:36

She will sleep through everyday noises, the TV, washing machine, her brother talking etc. as we dont have a 'quiet' home. I don't think she would get used to this sound as its sudden and very loud it sounds similar to if I slammed the bedroom door shut with some force. Possibly louder.

The residents will know the note is from me as I am the only new one they have all lived together for a long time. They will presumably guess its DC related! It just has particularly bothered me the last few days and getting me down, DS is off school unwell and will be for a while and the constant slam has meant I havent had any time to be there for him and will probably make bedtime harder so it annoys me that so many people are so inconsiderate, you can hear it slam loudly behind you.

OP posts:
Heratnumber7 · 19/06/2017 17:36

Can you put the baby to sleep in a different room in the day time?

RainbowsAndUnicorn · 19/06/2017 18:11

Just ask your landlord for a soft closing mechanism, he/she can only say no.

Putting a note up will just annoy your neighbours especially if they have lived there for some time and don't consider it an issue.

PigletJohn · 19/06/2017 18:20

I think it has to be done on the closer. If you add a separate buffer it may fail to latch.

BasketOfDeplorables · 19/06/2017 18:21

'Please don't let the door slam' or 'please close the door quietly' would not annoy any reasonable person. There has been a sign like that up in every block of flats I've been in.

If you live in a house you don't slam the door if you come in late. Everyone is capable of some consideration. In my boss' flat there are families wth preschoolers, people working from home, elderly people with health problems, and they all hate the big heavy door being slammed. No one bringing the post or deliveries closes it quietly but everyone who lives there, and most visitors manage.

Honestly, some people think you need to put up with all sorts of crap just because you have a baby.

Iruka · 19/06/2017 18:28

If some of the flats are council then the local housing association is probably responsible for maintaining the building. Put up the notice but also give them a call and ask for the neighbourhood manager for your area. They will listen but may not do anything.

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