Is this child neglect or just normal parenting?

[Maman79]

Would you consider this neglect of a child?

-Leaving toddler in bath alone & in front of tv for a few hours while mum sleeps upstairs
-Leaving weedkiller/ fertilizer near a bouncy castle in shed where children could get chemicals on hands/ lick and ingest etc
-Leaving doors unlocked-kids could get out onto road

Every time I hear about a new incident and am wondering how 'endangered' the kids actually are and if there is cause for concern.

Aha, then it's a hard one for you. Could you speak to a relatve before doing anything drastic? Preferably a close one?

Surely as a child care professional you have a duty of care to report safeguarding concerns?

It's all neglect. Can't believe people excusing leaving toddlers unsupervised in an unlocked house because "you should teach them not to open the door and go outside"

I would also suspect social services are not the best support for pnd. Rather the mum needs someone getting along side her, loving her and supporting her.

Surely the kids would be better off being supported by other family members rather than social services if poss? It doesn't really matter how you classify it as long as someone gets help when they need it.

It's a child at nursery? is the mum actually reporting all the counts of neglectful behaviour to you?? If she is; she's clearly screaming out for help. Help her. Or direct her to someone who can.

So if you are the nanny for the toddler are you not looking after them while the mum sleeps? Does she have a nanny just for extra support?
I think you need to explain a bit more about the situation as it's not very clear where you fit in.

Leaving in bath and watching tv unsupervised depends on age, I know some people call 3 year olds toddlers but my nearly 4yo is capable of being left to play in the bath while we are in the next room/watch tv downstairs on her own and has been for a few months. I don't call her a toddler but a few parents I know with same age kids do!

Other things definitely not neglect unless the children are unsupervised and actually messing with the weed killer. I have a nearly 4 and 1yo, don't lock the doors except at night and have cleaning products unlocked in the kitchen and weedkiller etc unlocked in the garage, kids aren't interested and are supervised when appropriate so can't see an issue. If 1yo started messing with cleaning products I'd move them.

If you've seen all these things first hand, then clearly the child hasn't been alone watching tv or alone in the bath - YOU'VE been there

Not if the toddler has told her about it, titchy. It's clear the OP is worried - no need to pull faces at her.

no a 4 year old shouldnt be in the bath unsupervised in case they turn on the hot tops

So obvious some people have no idea how debilitating PND is - I thought we were supposed to be moving forward with MH issues.

You have to educate children the danger of things how else do they learn -who keeps chemicals under lock & key in the home?

The bath is probably the only questionable issue but dependant on how deep the bath , how old the child, how sensible etc. Accidents happen regardless of how much supervision etc.

The mum needs help - therapy is not going to do it alone - she needs physical support & understanding. Making her feel like a bad mother at a time like this will only increase her already fragile sense of self

weedkiller should be locked away and fitted with childproof cap.

chemicals in the home should be in a childproof cupboard

The weedkiller and the bath are extremely dangerous; the mother appears to have no notion of risk to her toddler.

I don't lock doors or lock weedkiller away. I teach them not to leave the house and not to touch things they shouldn't

This is a prime example of "it won't happen to me"

Just because they don't doesn't mean they won't

Also if these things have been relayed by a child, bear in mind there may be problems with their concept of 'alone' (i.e. Mum may have been folding washing in the next room or something) and the length of time (i.e. Mum may have been asleep for either ten minutes or three hours)

The mum may need help but the toddler also needs help

Leaving child alone in bath - Yes very dangerous,

Weedkiller etc - unwise but not neglect.

Doors unlocked - depends if there's a stairgate. Again, unwise but not neglect.

And the bouncy castle also poses a level of risk too if used unsupervised and by both children at once...
Can't you buy a padlock for the shed? Problem solved 9at least that particular one)
The bathing alone is very serious, both in terms of scalding and drowning. You need to insist that she doesn't do this, as kids can and do drown in very little water. PND or not, this is unacceptable.
As for sleeping upstairs, while the kids are downstairs on their own, this too is totally unacceptable. A quick doze on the sofa in the same room is totally different.

I am there a few days a week but have been told by the child and several relatives about these incidents.

On occasions when I have been called in/ been leaving I have seen the child has been left for a few hours while the mother sleeps upstairs or she runs the bath and leaves the child in there alone.
The relatives have tried to address the issues but at stonewalled and threatened no access to the grandchildren. The lady is nice but she is very sensitive to any 'constructive criticism' and mostly takes things personally.

I don't know why some posters are being hostile to OP - what on earth has she done wrong?

How old are the kids?

What practical support is mother receiving?

Are the adults offering to give the mum a break? She's clearly exhausted

In that case op you need to inform her GP