...and should just not bother trying
Two weeks ago my boss called me into the office. He was annoyed because I had accidentally let slip he'd authorised an absense over the length he's meant to have. Basically a senior manager asked me where a work colleague was and I explained she was on an absense of a month. This senior manager than told my manager off.
I didn't realise this would get him into trouble and that I should have lied and said I didn't know where she was.
He sat me down and told me I was cringeworthy. Everyone just finds me embarrassing and doesn't like me in the office. That I overshare and think I'm funny when really everyone just finds me irritating. He asked me to only talk about work from now on and to say I don't know if asked something.
I don't know what was said but I know my boss told two people I've been bitching about them (which isn't true) because two of them starting shouting orders at me. Those two did apologise after three days and I think they've realised they were wrong.
My boss is also back to being nice to me but I have now handed my notice in. I consider that while I am hopelessly socially awkward this constituted bullying. I'm not going to take it further but I don't want to work here anymore. Luckily I have another job lined up of the same title and pay.
While I've only ever been popular at work until this job I feel so hopeless socially and my managers comments have really hit me hard. They've affected my confidence. I just feel like I cannot be 'normal' and not upset people. I really don't mean to. I am not a bad person or a deliberate trouble maker but I always seem to offend.
There's too many examples to name but I seem to offend people by accident or get people into trouble. Just three examples to illustrate my point. Two work colleagues had applied for the same position and I explained that I thought one work colleague had a really good chance as she has loads of experience. The other colleague was then offended as that implied she didn't! But that was not what I meant. All I meant was to be supportive of the other work colleague. I thought they both had an equal chance and equally good experience!
Another example was we were discussing Christmas and I explained that I didn't speak too much to my family as I was in care for most of my life so I've had every Christmas alone since aged 16 but I didn't mind it. The office went quiet. This was clearly oversharing but I hadn't realised until after I'd said it.
Last example. My work colleague needed to pick a delivery up in time for her holiday abroad so she went during the morning. When someone asked where she was I explained and this got her into trouble as she wasn't allowed leave at that time!
I seem to just make people cringe! It's awful!
Men generally like me as I'm physically attractive. Don't mean that to be a boast. Just explaining. But with women and gay men I seem to irritate completely! It's as if the only thing keeping me half capable of having friends is my appearance. Without a sexual attraction I'm awful.
I feel like socialising is impossible. I always seem to shock,upset or offend people. I feel like just never speaking again. I did get myself accessed for autism or aspergers but I have been accessed as definitely not having these and I completely agree. I think my communication issues stem from the fact I was home schooled In a religious cult and never socialised outside of my family. When I left the cult I was alone so spent the last 12 years basically alone. So I've never really socialised except at work.
I've got friends from my old work place that I'm now very close to and one I consider my best friend. He never found me embarrassing or inappropriate.
I've never had a problem at my old work place. They all loved me and were in tears when I left. Maybe I just don't fit in here. But my worry is I won't fit it anywhere else either. AIBU to think Im socially weird and inappropriate?