To think i can keep my termination a secret

[bluedrinkstwo]

I tested a day ago and I'm pregnant, I have an almost 4 month old baby. My fiancé doesn't know but caught me googling abortions and is a bit off with me now
I was suppose to test with him and I've already done it so I feel guilty enough. Can I just go ahead and do it on my own now anyway
I'm a bit worried about the effect this will have on my head though. I tend to over think things and can get down very easily
I don't know what to do

All clinics are different maybe but non sedation surgical was told to me the only thing I could do alone. You need someone with you after sedation and in my area also the pills, you need to go back twice for those too

Please call them to find out and confide in a friend?

Won't it be in your maternity notes next time? The midwife can see your obstetric history on the computer, under your hospital number, and will write it in your handheld notes. But you could ask that they don't do that I guess.

I reckon your partner knows something is up. I'd tell him. He loves you and it's too much to cope with by yourself.

Not everyone grieves after having an abortion. It's perfectly possible to feel relief and then move on. Complications are unlikely for an early termination.

This was my experience.

I think op needs councelling/support not an ethics debate. I've seen adverts in my local children's centre for a charity that helps support people through abortions, miscarriages and still births - I can't remember the name though, although perhaps a general purpose mental health /councilling charity would refer. I'm not entirely sure how abortions differ from miscarriages in terms of physical symptoms but for a mc it is very noticeable for a partner and would be pretty much impossible to hide from someone who sleeps in the same bed (symptoms essentially just like a very heavy period for a couple of weeks, I remember going to shops to get large supply of night time pads as dw had used up her entire stash of them, day time pads weren't absorbent enough, and cramps made her largely bed bound, she had to sleep on a towel and it went straight in the wash each morning)

You still get bleeding after a termination.

No you can ask them not to share with your GP if you don't want them to
But my GP had to sign the consent form

Also MW's are sensitive enough to ASK you about your history, not tell you what they read on a screen.

I thought Marie Stopes were contracted to do this by the NHS and it is not within the NHS anymore, hence you can go privately or not have it in your hospital notes but you need to check your area. That's my understanding but you still need 2 doctors to sign the consent form

Do what you know is right for you op. Of you choose to tell your partner that's up to you. However if you can't share this and he can't support your decision he's a pretty poor life choice.

Still that's for the future for now go see your GP or clinic and access the services you choose. Good luck op.

And it's perfectly fine and very commen to have an abortion and feel no guilt or upset but just sheer relief and confidence you made the right and sensible choice.

I do hope you are ok op as above i think a termination would be very hard to hide especially the trips to the hospital as there will be two IIRC

Thanks for all your comments, I am going to the drs tomorrow, I don't have a Marie stropes in my area
I keep being sick so I think my fiancé has cottoned on now but he told me yesterday it would be my choice and his words can't and shouldn't sway me

If any of my DD's wanted an abortion I'd hope their DH/DP would support them!

I had an abortion when I was 17 and nearly aborted DD3 I ran out crying at the last step! If YOU want to keep the embryo you can change your mind at any point if you want to.

Why don't you just tell him that you are? he "clocked it" and sounds like he would be supportive from your last update.

he told me yesterday it would be my choice and his words can't and shouldn't sway me

That's good OP. It must be a relief to hear him say that. I hope things go more smoothly from here.

Good luck

I hope you two find a way through this.
He sound like a good'un .