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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To say something to my friend re her stretching my dress...

63 replies

friendsornot · 18/06/2017 11:10

I have a friend who is going for job interviews. She is bigger than me and asked me to borrow some work clothes to wear to interviews. I just said I don't think I'll have anything that fits her. She said but I used to be the same size as her so I just have something (I was overweight now normal she is still overweight) but I don't think we were ever the same size
She came round a few weeks ago walked in my bedroom & started looking through my clothes ( we have been friends since we were teenagers so I think she felt comfortable doing it even though it was a decade ago we used to rummage through each other's wardrobe) and starts picking things she thinks might fit her. Before I can say anything she's got a dress on and saying it fits her. It really didn't and was stretched so badly. I tried to tell her nicely that she might need a bigger size but she seemed so happy that size stretched over her I didn't want to push it as she's really sensitive about how she looks. I am now a smaller size so hopefully won't need it but it was a lot of money for me and I was hoping to either sell it or tbh I've gone back up couple of stone since last year so perhaps I might need it again one day soon. Blush

Anyway she's given it back and it's now stretched and basically ruined, completely baggy around the bum area. Aibu to say something and if so what would you say?! I can't afford another one and as it's part of a suit I can't really replace the whole outfit either.

OP posts:
JigglyTuff · 18/06/2017 11:14

I think it's too late. You let her borrow it when you knew it was too small for her. Why on earth didn't you tell her to just get out of your bedroom?

Have you washed it/dry cleaned it? It might go back into shape

FishInAWetSuitAndFlippers · 18/06/2017 11:14

You should have insisted when she tried it on. I don't think you can say anything now tbh. You let her borrow it knowing it was too small for her.

rollonthesummer · 18/06/2017 11:19

You sound like a total pushover-it's too late to say anything now. No one has ever pushed their way into my bedroom and tried on/walked off with my clothes as I wouldn't let them-you need to learn how to say no.

WorraLiberty · 18/06/2017 11:19

I think it's far too late to say anything now. Just make sure she doesn't borrow anything again.

I know it's annoying but you allowed her to borrow it, although you seem to be playing that part down Confused

Before I can say anything she's got a dress on and saying it fits her.

How long does it take you to say something, or is she just the world's fastest dresser? Grin

WateryTart · 18/06/2017 11:22

Too late now. But you could give it to her and tell her she ruined it so may as well have it.

friendsornot · 18/06/2017 11:23

Lol thanks. Yes I'm an absolute pushover and happy for the responses. I did think she'd get home and her bf would point it out the dress was too small for her as he took her to the interview.

OP posts:
zzzzz · 18/06/2017 11:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

friendsornot · 18/06/2017 11:25

We're honestly no that close anymore and I was shocked she went into my room as she hasn't been upstairs in my house for years. I should have said something then. That's why I'm asking. Felt like a mug and turns out I am one!

OP posts:
NellieFiveBellies · 18/06/2017 11:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

friendsornot · 18/06/2017 11:29

Oh and re before I can say anything I left the room as dd ran out (she's 2) and when I came back my friend has put the dress on.
She's my friend I'm not looking t fall out just wondered if I'd be rude to say something now. Looks like I would be!

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 18/06/2017 11:31

I'd write this dress off but never let her near your bedroom again.

Allthebestnamesareused · 18/06/2017 11:32

I think I would have just been honest and say well that doesn't fit and obviously you'll want to look your best ...

Oldraver · 18/06/2017 11:33

No you would NOT be rude to say "you've ruined my dress"

Allthebestnamesareused · 18/06/2017 11:33

If you wash/dry clean it the item may go back into shape possibly.

dataandspot · 18/06/2017 11:33

Have you washed it? It might help it.

friendsornot · 18/06/2017 11:38

I have to dry clean it. Maybe that might work. Annoying I will have to do that though.

OP posts:
zzzzz · 18/06/2017 11:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KoalaDownUnder · 18/06/2017 11:40

She didn't have it cleaned before she returned it?! Shock

friendsornot · 18/06/2017 11:45

Yes I am being a coward.
It's not so much falling out (I don't think we'll do that over this) it's more articulating 'you've stretched my dress' that's the issue. Like I don't want to sound like I'm calling her big because she hangs onto comments about her size for a long time. I'm usually bad at communicating. People often say that I've offended them and I'm always confused at how so I just wanted to check as I did want to say something.

OP posts:
JacquesHammer · 18/06/2017 11:48

Of course you're not rude to raise it.

She's monumentally rude for returning without dry cleaning so I would ask her to sort that, but tell her that its mishapen and you will expect her to replace if it won't return to its usual shape

kaitlinktm · 18/06/2017 11:50

If you wish to remain friends then I wouldn't say anything now.

However, if she asks to borrow anything else, that would be a good opportunity to say somethng like "I'm sorry X but I'd rather not lend you anything as you stretched that dress I lent you last time and now I can't wear it".

I think she is rude to just go into your room though - is there any way you could prevent that in future?

RoseVase2010 · 18/06/2017 11:51

Maybe a polite "Hi X, thanks for the dress back, I'm really sorry but the dress appears to have become misshapen after you washed it, not sure what to do as it cost me a lot of money and I can't wear or sell it. Hope the interview went well and you knocked 'Em dead! Xx"

charlestonchaplin · 18/06/2017 11:56

Give her the dress. Tell her she's ruined it so she may as well have it.

OfficerVanHalen · 18/06/2017 11:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NewDayDawning · 18/06/2017 12:01

It's too late now, you shouldn't have allowed her to put it on in the first place.

Will washing or dry cleaning not bring it back to its original shape?

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