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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask if/how you celebrate your wedding anniversary?

55 replies

Onthedowns · 16/06/2017 21:55

So slightly upset this evening . Been married 10 years today together 21. DH never really makes that much interest in anniversaries we never go out or away. Being a bit of a bigger one I suggested going away for a night - not keen would rather spend money on family holiday. We struggle with babysitters and our ds isn't great sleeper someone offered to babysit tonight DH doesn't like going out for meals would rather drink- I didn't want to just go out drinking , we had no dinner in anyway .anyeay sorting kids etc getting them to bed he falls asleep wakes up 830 , I suggest getting some food no he doesn't eat takeaways. So I have done my ironing and gone to bed not eaten. I feel sad the day just goes past no recognition but also it's symptomatic of our marriage currently. I would've like to go away we aren't broke but not flush either , with enough notice we could get someone in to babysit . He's not interested though and it's getting to the point we have nothing to say to each other without rowing

OP posts:

Foxyloxy1plus1 · 16/06/2017 22:11

We don't and we both forgot it this year.

Justmadeperfectflapjacks · 16/06/2017 22:13

Weekend away for both wedding anniversary and the date we met!!
Usually a concert for one /both too!!

Sparklingbrook · 16/06/2017 22:15

No we don't. We did go out for breakfast on our 20th anniversary last year though.

Stoptherideiwannagetoff · 16/06/2017 22:15

We both forgot ours mind you, I suppose if it was a big one we may consider doing something, ie the pub like usual! We are both like minded so it doesn't matter so much. If he's not interested, treat yourself, put girly crap on the TV, hide the remotes and pig out on chocolates in front of him...

ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 16/06/2017 22:20

We remember and make an effort to have a special meal either home or out, but don't bother with gifts or sometimes even cards though. I'm not a massive fan of flowers either. However for our 10th anniversary next year I'm sure we would both want to do something special (if we're still married by then, but that's for another thread!)

OhTheRoses · 16/06/2017 22:21

Sounds a bit grim.

kaytee87 · 16/06/2017 22:21

We went for lunch for our first anniversary with our newborn sleeping in his pram. Was nice.
We'll probably just do lunch / dinner / cinema or something for anniversaries.

user1495915742 · 16/06/2017 22:25

9th anniversary soon.

We normally go away for the week. A card and a small present on the day, a day out somewhere and dinner somewhere nice in the evening.

It's normally instigated by me but DH is always willing! We still get on really well, laugh quite a bit and are kind to each other. It's very equal in terms of how we treat each other.

Sorry to hear you've had a crap day. Does he know you feel like this?

user1480459555 · 16/06/2017 22:26

Our wedding anniversary is next week - 38 years and yes we have celebrated every one.

We always give each other a card, sometimes a small present. Some years we have gone away. If we don't go away we go out somewhere for the day and have a meal out.

We haven't got a lot of spare money this year so are not going away. We will be going out for the day though and going to one of our favourite restaurants.

honeyroar · 16/06/2017 22:29

We usually discuss what we're doing a couple of weeks before, and come to the conclusion that we can't be bothered. Perhaps we will next year on our 10th. But it's different if it's one who wants to do something and the other doesn't - for one to blatantly disregard the other's sentiment to want to celebrate it seems cold. How hard is it to eat a bloody takeaway, ffs!

Onetedisbackinbed · 16/06/2017 22:29

I'd be put out. We've done cards, flowers, a meal out yrs 1-8 It will be more elaborate at 10 yrs I'd expect.

TheNaze73 · 16/06/2017 22:30

Don't do anything special for them

NellieFiveBellies · 16/06/2017 22:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cluecu · 16/06/2017 22:34

We've had 3 wedding anniversaries now and for each one we've gone away for a long weekend in the uk, nice cottage, good restaurants etc. Got cards for 1st one but we didn't surprise each other or anything...just really look forward the the trip

cluecu · 16/06/2017 22:35

But yes I'd be hurt in your situation

BoyFromTheBigBadCity · 16/06/2017 22:45

OP that's sounds sad, and like a symptom, not a cause. Happy anniversary!

2017SoFarSoGood · 16/06/2017 23:32

Happy anniversary OP Yes, it sounds like a horrid way to spend a big day. I suspect you have to tell him how this makes you feel. He needs to know; whether he wants to make changes in his end of things is up to him. I hope so. It does sound all a bit sad.

goose1964 · 16/06/2017 23:50

We usually have a weekend away , or at least a day out, for our 10th we went to St Lucia whilst my in laws took the kids to Cornwall

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 17/06/2017 00:01

Our first wedding anniversary we went away (camping as we were skint) for the weekend near where we honeymooned. Between then and our 25th we said "happy anniversary" to each other. 25th we had a bit of a party at home.

junebirthdaygirl · 17/06/2017 00:08

We usually mark occasion in some way..lunch dinner and we have gone away for 10/ 20/30
But l wouldnt mind the anniversary so much if he wasnt such a drip about everything. Dlesnt eat out or takeaway..but you do so he could make an effort . That would do my head in.
Interesting he was happy to drink. Is he fond of drink as that can make people very self centred.

Floralnomad · 17/06/2017 00:12

We don't celebrate , and we've recently had our 28th anniversary , never felt the need to celebrate on the actual day .

Catra · 17/06/2017 00:18

We tend to eat out at a really nice restaurant on our wedding anniversary but go away for a long weekend each year to mark when we got together because that's in summertime.

notknownatthisaddress · 17/06/2017 00:35

We always have a meal, (either out at a restaurant, or in the house at the dining table with a bottle of wine and some candles so it's nice and romantic.) We give each other a card, and a small gift each. (£20 worth, or so.) If it's an anniversary that's a denomination of 5 (So 5 years, 10, 15, 20, 25 and so on,) then it's worth celebrating a bit more with a bigger gift or a trip away.

We have been away for several of our anniversaries. 3 days in Paris for the 15th. Couldn't contemplate not acknowledging and celebrating it. If it's OK with both of you, then that's fine, but if one isn't arsed and the other one is, then you have problems...

Sorry OP but your marriage doesn't sound great from what you say.

Any reason why you didn't get married until 11 years into the relationship? Did you want to get married more than him? Just wondered as he doesn't seem arsed about it.

Asmoto · 17/06/2017 00:47

We might mention it if we remember, but we don't do anything special (married nearly 12 years ago).

MortificadoBat · 17/06/2017 01:10

We exchange cards, sometimes go out for a meal - however we go out together every weekend. DH isn't really bothered about it, and nor am I, however, last year on our 22nd anniversary I was due to meet a few blokes I used to work with. Strangely DH decided it meant something to him. I said I would meet my friends in the afternoon and meet him later so we could go for meal together. He came to meet me, joined my friends (some of whom he had met before) and then didn't want a meal. we stayed out with my friends. Was a great night.
It's easier because we have been together 28 years and don't have young children.

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