To ask if/how you celebrate your wedding anniversary?

[Onthedowns]

So slightly upset this evening . Been married 10 years today together 21. DH never really makes that much interest in anniversaries we never go out or away. Being a bit of a bigger one I suggested going away for a night - not keen would rather spend money on family holiday. We struggle with babysitters and our ds isn't great sleeper someone offered to babysit tonight DH doesn't like going out for meals would rather drink- I didn't want to just go out drinking , we had no dinner in anyway .anyeay sorting kids etc getting them to bed he falls asleep wakes up 830 , I suggest getting some food no he doesn't eat takeaways. So I have done my ironing and gone to bed not eaten. I feel sad the day just goes past no recognition but also it's symptomatic of our marriage currently. I would've like to go away we aren't broke but not flush either , with enough notice we could get someone in to babysit . He's not interested though and it's getting to the point we have nothing to say to each other without rowing

No we don't do anything. Both forgot our 25th. But if its important to you you should tell him.

I think we don't do enough on our own but yes I am more worried about doing something I suppose. I know it doesn't matter in the scheme of things. No we got together very young and just didn't get engaged till later

It is rubbish that he refused to do anything when you wanted to mark the anniversary. It does matter if it matters to you. Have a quiet word and let him know you were disappointed. Hope next year is better for you

We do cards and a meal. Don't do presents now. It's hard enough for Christmas / birthdays to think of what to buy. I'd rather do something.
10 years next year. We've talked about renewing our vows abroad where we got married. Got a young DC tho so not definite yet.
Tbh tho I think if I didn't mention it DH probably wouldn't bother.
Happy Anniversary op. I'm sorry you've had such a sad day.
It sounds like you need to try and find something you both enjoy doing together to try and bring you back to each other. It's so easy to just get caught up in our own lives and forget the important people around us.

So this is June and your post has reminded me our anniversary was last month... we forgot, married 18 year this year. I would rather he show me love and consideration year round and me to him than save it up for anniversaries and valentines. I would worry about people who get so upset about such things as well as to me it would mean things were not good generally and your are hoping they will somehow redeem themselves... we are equally shit at birthdays and mothers/Father's Day, today he brought home his own Father's Day present I have hidden it in a saucepan 😂 I will see if I remember to get our children to make cards....or even buy them... never happens.

Our 5th anniversary is next week.

We get one another a gift and card, take the day off work and go for a day out- nice drive in countryside, then lunch somewhere nice, maybe look round a few shops & have a coffee, or go to the cinema. Play it by ear, depends what the weather is like.

We used to go away every year b4 kids. Mexico etc. Hit 10 years this yr and stayed in cus cudnt decide on anything and i think secretly we have both haf enough of each other. We just go thru the motions but we know its over. If we didnt have kids i would run as fast as i could! He too just drinks and anything else is such a huge effort.. we had cards a gift and lunch out with kids.. imo things should be effortless and in sync. When 1 of you is doing all the legwork all the time and the other isn't bothered something's not right. Like my situation.

We go away for a couple of nights in a hotel, and drink champagne in every waking moment. It costs about £1500 for the two of us.

We exchange the cards with a new message in that we sent each other first 25 years ago. We both forgot our 2nd anniversary so got the previous years cards up and it stuck. We often do go out near it esp as my birthday is a few days later.

For our 10th anniversary DH bought me an eternity ring.

For our 25th we had a party with many of our original guests and new friends in a marquee. And went away to one of the honeymoon hotels we visited for a week.

MrsD
Oh those anniversaries all sound lovely.

Not very bothered about celebrating stuff like this - neither of us would refuse to celebrate if the other one wanted to.
Sounds like you guys are needing to put more effort into your relationship though.

25th last year so went with dc to the Globe for afternoon tea and tour , then 3 weeks californian road trip. Sometimes we go out for a meal or cinema

We just celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary with a weekend away in Luxembourg, DD(4) lodging with the PILs. We always mark our anniversary, but usually make more of a thing of the anniversary of being together (10 years this year) rather than the wedding. At the very least we'd go out to eat, but we both love doing that and are big foodies. We got each other presents too.

I'd feel really down if my day turned out like yours, OP

It doesn't really matter what other people do. The problem is that YOU wanted to do something and dh didn't. What's the relationship,like normally? Is this just a one off blip or indicative of how the relationship usually goes.

Life is too short to not be happy. You do have to take some responsibility for your own life though OP. Why didn't you just order yourself a takeaway? Why go to bed hungry? Do you think he's going to notice, then feel bad, then come running to you with flowers and apology??

Today is our 11th wedding anniversary (together 18). He said happy anniversary as soon as I woke up & had the day off yesterday so we went somewhere nice for lunch. Currently 37 weeks pregnant so plans for local music fest a bit scuppered by heat, we're going to have a BBQ & buy a paddling pool instead 😂

We have a nice meal out but that isn't especially unusual for us anyway so really, we don't do much.

Maybe morning sex.

I think we gave each other a present on our first anniversary.

We always go out for dinner, if he's home. (Military family) card and small gift, or we buy something for the house, one year it was a tassimo. We went to Paris for our 30th.

I guess it would be just nice to do something?! Eternity ring is out of the question as we are having house renovations! Trying to persuade him to go away still

@planetclom

So this is June and your post has reminded me our anniversary was last month... we forgot, married 18 year this year. I would rather he show me love and consideration year round and me to him than save it up for anniversaries and valentines. I would worry about people who get so upset about such things as well as to me it would mean things were not good generally and your are hoping they will somehow redeem themselves

I just KNEW there would be someone who would come along and spout this garbage.

Why assume if people like to make a fuss of their anniversary (or like their DH to make a fuss) or that they like to be remembered on Valentines etc, that they (or their partner,) don't care or show love and kindness for the rest of the year? Where does this wanky myth come from?!

Is it people who have partners who can't be arsed (or maybe who can't be arsed themselves!) trying to make excuses or convince themselves of something?!

Coz guess what? It is possible to have celebrations for birthdays, Valentines, and your anniversary, and STILL be a couple deeply in love, who care for each other immensely, and show love all year round! It's not one or the other you know. Just coz a man makes a huge fuss on Valentines or your anniversary, that doesn't automatically mean he is a shit husband for the rest of the year FFS!

Is this just people who have partners who do fuck all trying to make themselves feel better, coz they're jealous of the couples around them having great fun celebrating their anniversaries and valentines and birthdays? Whilst they and their partners do nothing and don't even exchange cards?! And I don't believe for a second that you both 'forget.'

Puts me in mind of a spiteful woman I used to work with who blathered on about she doesn't need HER boyfriend to prove he loves her by showering her with gifts for Valentines day.

'Oh you're pissed off that you got fuck all off him then?' Another colleague spouted!

I think we 'celebrated' our anniversary for the first 15 years or so, usually dinner out & small gift or occasionally an overnight. Then 'life' took over and we just sort of started giving each other a card which we still do and sometimes we'll go out for lunch (we're retired). I think we are just so comfortable together that we don't feel the need to do anything, if that makes sense.

We did do something for 25 (Winter trip to Yellowstone) & 30 (WDW) years and I expect we'll do something for 40 & 50 (if we live that long!).

We celebrate every year, that he is around for. He is in the Navy so is sometimes at sea. We usually go away for a night or three, just the two of us. Married 19 years this September.

For our 1st anniversary we went on a weekend away to a Christmas market in Europe (we got married in December).

Since then we've gone out for dinner on every anniversary because in between pregnancy, babies etc it's been hard to do anything else.

Youngest is a bit older so this year (our 6th anniversary), I'm hoping we might manage a night away.

Never done gifts or cards..

We get a takeaway for dinner. We don't bother with cards or presents anymore. Been married now for 16 years, together for 21 years.

Anniversary coming up and we're going out for afternoon tea the two of us.

We don't tend to do gifts (what with our respective birthdays, Mother's Day and Father's Day in the run up we're usually presented out) but we mark the day somehow.

I'm a card sending sort of person and he isn't. All the other occasions of the year I do cards (except Valentines which is boycotted Chez Wombat) and he doesn't. This is totally fine (I genuinely don't mind not getting something as long as he doesn't mind getting a sentimental card from me!) but for our anniversary he always gets me a card and writes something lovely in it about the year we've had - I've got a box of much-treasured cards now from over the years and I really appreciate that he takes the time to do that when the rest of the time cards are something he's not into.

I know it's not the same when it's not your husband but belated happy anniversary OP

We normally exchange silly/soppy cards, might buy something following the traditional or modern gift ideas and sometimes have something nice to eat and a shag

but this doesn't sound like it's just about your anniversary but rather about a complete disregard of your wishes.