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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I'm so angry at my neighbour.

93 replies

helbel34 · 15/06/2017 21:12

We have had neighbours for the last 2 years the dh works away and is only home every couple of weeks. My dh and myself have socialized with the wife. E.g. drinks in the garden, and I have invited her in when I have had friends over. Tbh I have not really clicked with her but I felt bad that she was on her own.

So the issue is a couple of weeks ago my dh was downstairs late at night I was on bed, my neighbour knocked on our back window to ask if she could borrow a cigarette and proceeded to stay in my house for two hours what do you think.

OP posts:
helbel34 · 15/06/2017 21:59

I think I have a gut feeling that this is not right.

OP posts:
ShinyGirl · 15/06/2017 22:00

First post on AIBU?

OK then.

Tainbri · 15/06/2017 22:00

Sounds like the issuentounjave is with your dh - where was her dh by the way? Hmm

Tainbri · 15/06/2017 22:01

Issue you have Wink

Justmuddlingalong · 15/06/2017 22:04

Op I don't know if you're aware, but you have ...

...all this room to post answers to other posters' questions. HTH

helbel34 · 15/06/2017 22:11

Neighbours dh works away.

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 15/06/2017 22:13

This is painful.

Justmuddlingalong · 15/06/2017 22:16

Maybe he enjoys her conversational skills. Confused

CommonSenseIsNotAllThatCommon · 15/06/2017 22:18

Christ on a bike get a bloody grip.

They were chatting not riding on the kitchen table.

Funnyfarmer · 15/06/2017 22:27

Was it a weekend and your neighbour had been out for a drink?

Wellysocksbox · 15/06/2017 22:32

If anyone, male or female, knocked on my door late at night "for a chat" I'd be bloody furious.

TinselTwins · 15/06/2017 22:33

So you pretend to be her buddy, even though you secretly don't like her, invite her round for an entirely patronising reason, which she probably (quite reasonably) thinks means you're good buddies.. then you're pissed off that she's hanging about your house?

disneykid · 15/06/2017 22:37

So do you think she's shagging your husband?

I very much doubt it if you're upstairs in bed.

Also, you're the one pretending to be her friend, she probably sees nothing wrong with it.

She'd probably be fine without your invites of going round, but clearly thinks you're friends now so just wanted a chat.

DontTouchTheMoustache · 15/06/2017 22:49

They are shagging. Definitely.
You are going to have to piss on dh. And try to make yourself look big next time she pops over.

helbel34 · 15/06/2017 23:02

I nearly fell I'd the the couch there, so funny.

OP posts:
disneykid · 15/06/2017 23:04

I bet they were falling off the couch too Hmm

Waltermittythesequel · 15/06/2017 23:12

Wtf?! Confused

LittleBeautyBelle · 15/06/2017 23:41

Op, you're in bed and you wake up at 1:30am to find your dh and the neighbor that it seems from your posts that neither of you know too well but comes over that late to borrow a cigarette and have a 2 hr chat with your dh....no, that's not how it works, Op, I agree. I would not dream of just showing up for 2 hours in the night to "chat" with the husband of my neighbor. Ridiculous.

First of all, I wouldn't allow anyone to smoke in my house anyway, can't stand the smell, it gets on everything.

Second, she has no business coming to your house at 1:30 in the morning and staying for 2 hours with the excuse of borrowing a cigarette. From her point of view you are conveniently in bed.

If you don't nip this now, she will be a huge pain going forward. Do not invite her over anymore, that's a given. Do not let her in the house, she overstepped herself. Your dh is either encouraging her or, most likely, he is afraid to say anything to her or is so naive he is actually taking her side as you seem to suggest.

We have pretty great neighbors. None of them would come over at 1:30 am while I was in bed to chat with my dh for two hours.

She needs to back off. If she does it again, you could try telling her, with your dh beside you, that she won't be coming back to your house again at 1:30 in the morning, or at any other time.

She sounds sly to me.

Neverknowing · 15/06/2017 23:48

I think it's weird to open the door at that time AND I think it's weird to knock on someone's door at that time. Wtf is going on there op?!?
She must have known he was awake and he must have known it was her ...

BillSykesDog · 15/06/2017 23:50

Was she pissed?

CommonSenseIsNotAllThatCommon · 16/06/2017 00:03

I'm from rural Ireland so if a neighbour saw your light on they would knock in. Many the morning we used to meet ourselves getting up when we'd only be heading to bed.

Defuzzing · 16/06/2017 00:03

She''s lonely. She is not trying to steal your husband. Is there a massive drip feed coming reason you don't trust your husband and neighbour. Has he cheated on you before or are you insecure because he works away a lot?

unfortunateevents · 16/06/2017 00:13

You have been stewing over this for a few weeks?!

HildaOg · 16/06/2017 00:15

Exactly LittleBeautyBelle.

Defuzzing; her behaviour is inappropriate, it doesn't matter if she's lonely, that's not ops problem. Her problem is a husband who is enjoying the attention and pandering to this 'lonely' woman who's seeking his attention. No trustworthy woman would seek attention from a friend or neighbours husband!

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