AIBU?
Childish boyfriend
user1497547038 · 15/06/2017 18:23
Hi sorry for the long post in advance
I am 13 weeks pregnant and had my scan today. Me and my boyfriend have been together 4 years and this is our first baby together. We are not living with each other at the moment, but plan to when the baby is born.
Today I had my scan booked for 8:20am and planned to go pick my boyfriend up at 8am to get to the hospital all on time. Admittedly I was 5 minutes late but this still gave us plenty of time to get to the hospital and park etc. I rung him before I was even outside as I know he is shit for time keeping. He was aware that this scan is very important for dating, highlighting any sinister problems and for the nuchal translucency but still took 10 minutes to leave his house to get into my car. He then slowly walked to my car and had the cheek to check his hair in my car window before getting in. I made a comment that he has no real urgency in him, he was already in a bad mood and I was now running very late. When it got to 8:20am, I was stressing out and asked him to call the ultrasound department to tell them we was running late which he did. He didn't relay any of this information back to me until I asked 5 minutes later, he said the receptionist said we will probably have to rebook but to come anyway to see if we can be booked in last minute or if there are any cancellations. Stressing even more as I know there is a time scale for nuchal translucency and I panic about stuff like that, as wel wjth my hormones on top of things. His point was that I was 5 minutes late anyway, but he should have been ready for me to come and get him and go to the hospital together.
Luckily, we got to the hospital and they managed to slot us in quickly and put us straight through for an ultrasound. Everything was perfect with the baby, and it was lovely to see on the screen. I asked the sonographer what his guess would be and he said "possibly a baby girl from what I am looking at" to which I was thrilled about and he also put my dates forward so happy to know my baby will be born in 2017 and of course is healthy. He mentioned that I wouldn't be able to know for sure until 16 weeks through private scan if I wanted to, and I agreed and said I did have a private scan. My boyfriend turned around sarcastically and said "ah do you? Didn't tell me?" I did tell him but he has a habit of forgetting these things, I brushed it off because the sonographer could obviously sense a bit of tension in the room. Anyway, got the scan all done and I wanted to buy some pictures. He didn't look too phased by the beautiful baby moving around on the screen. Stupidly didn't get money out this morning and I was under the impression they only accept change rather than notes. So asked my boyfriend if he had changed and he bluntly replied "no" I then said ah ok no problem well get pictures next time then. He said "I didn't say I didn't have money though" and pulled out a note for the pictures. To which the sonographer accepted and printed off our pictures of the baby which was lovely. Before we got the pictures printed off he turned around and said "YOU pick 2 and I pick 2" which I felt was a bit off, it's pictures of our baby ffs they all look almost the same but ok. So got these printed off and left the ultrasound department to get blood test done
After we sat down, we agreed after leaving we'd get breakfast and I suggested going to the hospital cafe. Turned his nose up but agreed. After getting a drink etc, I called my mum to tell her sonographer thinks baby girl but not sure and that I'd been moved ahead of my dates. He interrupted me whilst I was speaking to my mum and said "he did not say that do you want me to go back in and ask and record it?" Belittling me. I brushed this off again and he moved a seat away from me.
I then got called up for my blood test, he doesn't stop telling other people how he can't stand blood etc. So I said no don't bother will be out in 5 minutes anyway, so went in by myself which was fine and got it done. We then went to walk out to the cafe and I explained the blood tests were for me to know if the baby was at risk of Down syndrome etc. He didn't seem too bothered so we carried on walking to the cafe.
On arrival to the hospital cafe; he turnt his nose up immediately before even looking at the food. He made a rude comment under his breath, something about the presentation of the cafe but as long as it has food and water why does it really matter? It isn't going to be a steakhouse in a hospital and I was hungry. We proceeded to self serve and he was disgusted by the food. To be honest it wasn't even bad. His face was even worse when we got up to the till at the thought of two breakfasts for £13.90. I thought this was good? Considering it was a full English with drinks. I live in London. We sat down and I was enjoying the food, he clearly wasn't and threw it in the bin. Fair enough I thought, so I made conversation mentioning a friend of his family congratulated me on my pregnancy he turned around and said "I don't really care I can't stand them" yet he turned up at one of their christenings a few weeks ago lol. He also accused me of hating them too, I have never said this so he's lying about this too. I took offence to this and said "why don't you just go back to work?" So he walked off and low and behold he's waiting for me on another table , as we was previously sat outside enjoying breakfast. He said he wanted to see me to my car and he'd make his own way home, I paid for the car ticket and insisted I dropped him off anyway.
I asked when he was next coming round so we could plan baby shopping etc, and he said at the moment I don't want to be around you. I asked him what his problem was and he just gave me a filthy look on his face and thank god we was in traffic because he swung my car door open with so much force (cars only an old banger, buying a new one soon) I genuinely thought it was going to come off, he then slam it shut telling me to fuck off. I shouted out "I won't have you talking or trying to hit me like your brother does to his missus" shouldn't have said it I know, but out of anger I said this and drove off home
My question is AIBU to not bother answering to his phone calls or texts for a while to give him a bit of a sharp shock to realise that his behaviour was unacceptable?
Thanks xx
Morgan2017 · 15/06/2017 18:47
End the relationship. Forget he exists and carry on alone.
If he wants to be involved later he will catch up with you.
If he doesnt he doesnt. What does it matter anyway.
Sorry you found urself in a horrible situation but dont make it worse by forcing something thats not to be. 
EverythingEverywhere1234 · 15/06/2017 18:53
What a mess. Congratulations on your pregnancy. You must know though that you'll be doing this on your own? He doesn't want a baby and he doesn't sound like he wants you either. You cannot change that.
What you can change is what you accept. You can do better for yourself and I suggest you start by dumping your manchild
DoloresTheRunawayTrain · 15/06/2017 19:14
TBH I would not bother with him full stop. Can you imagine him being such and attention seeking immature prick when you go into labour? How do think he will react when you don't have time to devote 100% of your attention to him?
Seriously OP ditch him and move on with your life and beautiful child.
TheWeeBabySeamus1 · 15/06/2017 19:17
My ex turned into an arse during pregnancy - I think the little diddums was upset that all the focus was on me (because I was the one growing a human inside me so obviously scans etc were focused on me 
) and he wasn't used to everything not being about him. It took me until my son was 3 months old to get rid - should have done it sooner as he ruined what should have been the most special time in my life.
Don't let him ruin it for you. If he's like this at the scan imagine how he'll be carrying on during labour and once your baby's here.
SummerMummy88 · 15/06/2017 19:45
No don't ignore him to give him a shock, you need to grow up, your having a child together you both need to start acting like adults. He doesn't sound brilliant but then again you shouting after him isn't exactly great. You need to sit down and evaluate your relationship and decide what you both want, an adult conversation is what is needed not childishness.
robinsongyal · 15/06/2017 20:00
️May seem like a random question but was the baby planned and did he 'fall in love' with the idea of having a baby? Or at least did he want to have a baby at this stage in his life?? When my partner found out I was pregnant and keeping her he displayed ️lots of passive aggresive behaviour until around 12 weeks in pregnancy (at the day of scan!)
MumBod · 15/06/2017 20:10
He's ruined your scan.
Dump him now before he ruins your experience of childbirth, your first days with your newborn, the christening (if that's your thing), your baby's first birthday, etc etc etc.
Think of him not as a father, but as a sperm donor.
If he grows up and learns to be a father, all well and good he won't though.
SugarnetMum · 15/06/2017 20:43
What a prick. He's spoiling what are meant to be some of your happiest times. This scan day was meant to be a happy, fun exciting time where both of you found out more about your unborn child!!
I'm pregnant and haven't had my first scan yet but me and dp will be just as excited as each other... In it together.
You would be better off on your own, don't let that bastard rain on your parade!
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