AIBU to want my sister to give a sh*t about my life ??

[rainbowbreeze123]

I have 1 sister, shes 8 years older than me and currently lives abroad. Shes always been terrible at keeping in touch, ive lost count of the number of unanswered text, emails etc ive sent and I stopped phoning her as it seemed one sided and she hasnt called me since

The weird thing is when I do see her she throws money at everything, she'll take me and my Mum out for lunch and pay that kind of thing. She always buys nice birthday and Xmas pressies

Ive brought it up with her in the past and told her how much it hurts as has our Mum, she gets better for a brief time and then contact drops again.
I know I need to let it go she obviously doesnt feel our relationship is important but how do you do that ? We have a small family as it is it feels such a sad situation

So when she does see you in person it sounds like she makes the effort!

It's hard when you are away somewhere that your family at home have never been a part of. It's different for the ones at home as they have experience and memories of being together with the person in their day to day so I think the people at home definitely think about the people away more.

Don't know if I explained that well but when I was away there was very few if any triggers to remind me of family at home. But for them at home everything was a reminder I wasn't there.

Some people are just really bad at calling and texting and are great in person. They often do care, and often do intend to call, but time just goes by and it doesn't happen. Some even make plans to call, but then it gets late so they promise themselves they'll call tomorrow so they don't disturb you but then it just happens again.
Could that be the case with her?

I live abroad and I have to admit that I am a bit like that. I'm just not good at keeping in touch, but I am very happy to see people when I'm back. I do care about them, but I'm just not someone who needs constant contact.

I don't think there is anything you can do about it, OP. It's just the way she is.

I'm a bit the same as your sister, OP. I live abroad, and though I love my friends and family in my home country to bits, I'm not always good about constant contact. I've been abroad for 12 years, and I have my own DCs, many friends here and a career...so it isn't that I don't think about people at home, I have more immediate, daily 'stuff' to get on with. I go home once a year, and I give my full attention to my family when I'm there, and we even have a yearly birthday party, where we celebrate everyone's birthday. My family understands that I love them, even if I don't ring/email very often, and they have all made sure they're on Facebook so we can easily stay in touch.

I know shes busy with work and visitors but she doesnt even get in touch when important things are happening - my Dads having post cancer treatment, texted her with his latest CT scan results and heard nothing back
I went through several rounds of IVF and she didnt ask me how it was going ONCE I ended up sending her a strong worded email and got a bunch a flowers in return.. I guess I just have to accept it and try not to be offended by it