To want to leave my job because of my bitchy colleague?

[Weedgarden]

I started my dream office job 8 months and I absolute love the job. The problem is there's a woman there that took an instant dislike to me. No particular reason - when asked by other colleagues why she doesn't like me she says "I just don't like her". This makes things very awkward in the office and I often catch her making faces when I say something.

Anyway, the office tradition is that when it's someone's birthday everyone is invited from the office for a meal and drinks so at the weekend it was my birthday. I invited everyone including mrs bitchy and didn't hear back from her.

I thought enough was enough so I approached her one morning last week and said I felt there was animosity between us, I wasn't sure why but can we just bury the hatchet and try to get along. Her response was that there was no problem or animosity and made me feel abit stupid for suggesting that.

A friend of mine saw on Facebook that Mrs bitchy had put a status up on the Saturday night (she didn't come to my birthday meal) saying something like "Don't invite me to your shitty birthday meal because I won't come. I will be civil because my mum raised me right ✌🏻" It was deleted by the next morning.

I raised it with my office manager who said as it was outside of work and she didn't name me she can't really do much about it. I've taken today off sick because I just don't want to face her.

AIBU to just leave the job I love?

ssd, you need to mentally leave, which means telling yourself that you don't care, until something else comes along. Chin up!

Not at all, I just find that comment very uncalled for.

JustCallMeKate I completely agree, what a shocking comment.

I would go with the kill with kindness approach, or just plain ignore.

I started my office job 5 years ago nearly now, when I was 19. There was a woman who obviously took an instant dislike to me, she was mid - late 30s and wasn't even in my team so didn't even have to be in contact with me!

But like you I'd catch her looking at me when I was laughing or chatting with a colleague and got on well with absolutely everyone but her, and it is a big office. I was too immature and inexperienced to be direct or assertive with her but just igored her, and was relieved when she left.

So I know how you feel because that attitude towards you can really put you down, even if they are not being direct (which this woman is to you, albeit in a passive aggressive way)

Honestly I would just carry on BAU, don't change or tone yourself down to please her, and ignore any slights she tries to make. If she gets more direct or confrontational then report it formally. It is already known around the office that she "just doesn't like you" () so this will go in your favour.

FEW I think shes incredibly unprofessional. I know some people in my office and offices in genergy are happy to have a good bitch/gossip about anyone and everyone, with no loyalty whatsoever. It's really not on and to spread around the office that you personally don't like someone, is highly unprofessional.

When she rolls here eyes after colleagues ask about your weekend, you need to retort back 'well it was more interesting than mrs bitches' really loudly and turn around and ask mrs bitch 'how was your weekend?'

Don't leave because if one twat.

Or, 'mrs bitch, omg, your eyes, are you ok, are you having a fit?, would you like me to call you an ambulance?'

She's gonna look a right dick after that 😂😂

OP, Keep an incident diary and contact ACAS for free advice.

Just think to yourself about how pathetic it is for a 50 plus woman to be posting such stuff on FB. She sounds like a nasty bully and you're clearly better than her.

She must lead a pretty sad life to allow the birthday of someone she dislikes to take up such headspace that she'd go to the trouble of posting about it.

Tell yourself you're better than her. That she's pathetic and sad.

Don't let someone like her affect your life.

I put up with this kind of thing for two years. The woman was a nightmare. I reported it, repeatedly but nothing was done. Eventually I left and walked away with several months' salary as a pay off because my manager broke every rule in the book with regards to my health and well being. Muppets.

There are people like this about.

You need to write down every incident, date, what happened. Who witnessed it.

Keep printed out screenshots of her shite she posts online.

You need a big file of evidence to get her for workplace bullying.

The best bullies bully their victim so cleverly and subtly that when it's reported, the victim looks unhinged. So watch out for that.

The best bullies bully their victim so cleverly and subtly that when it's reported, the victim looks unhinged. So watch out for that

yes to that!!

the manager at my work who bullies people has a personality disorder and I know saying that on MN is as popular as saying you don't pay tax....but she does, it's so very obvious...she lies straight to people's faces and twists stories until no one knows the truth about anything....for some reason the top management let her do what she wants as she kisses their arses. I don't get treated bad but cant stand watching the way she treats the young students who work there, I'd never let my kids work there and I don't let my friends kids work their either. I've been there a while and am finding it so hard not to care or get upset with what I see going on every day. But thanks so much for the advice I've got here and sorry to hijack your thread op.

but op, like your bully, this woman at my work is in her 50's and she genuinely has the saddest life of anyone I know, she has a family, kids, extended family all around, a good home and they all have jobs...yet she is never happy, she always wants something that someone else has, she hates you to have something she doesn't have...so I can imagine, your bully, seeing you come into work, young, vibrant, eager, popular...you will be all the things she isn't and that's what's fuelling her dislike of you, pure and utter envy...I know this might not help but trust me, that's what's motivating her, jealousy of you. Pity her, that's all she deserves.