To think DH is effing well grown up enough...

[MissCommunication]

...to remember his house key? This has been a real issue in the past and it has been better recently but this is the second night in a row that he has forgotten his key. HOW FUCKING HARD IS IT???? I was upstairs dealing with a nappy and scratchy tired baby. DS had been REALLY tricky with supper so I just quietly took it away and binned it. So I wasn't exactly in a mind to greet him with a fucking fanfare. I was annoyed but just answered the door. Didn't really smile. He said you seem annoyed and upset. I said just annoyed not upset. He says what's the big issue I just forgot my key. I just said ok. Not in mood to make a thing of it. BUT HE'S 46 YEARS OLD. And there's a key safe...if he's taken the key on another forgetting occasion and not put it back then he's a twunt of the first order. Am I being a cow? He's done it so often now and sometimes he rings and rings and it's not always easy to get to the door (I'm breastfeeding or getting kids to sleep or on the loo etc etc blah fucking BASTARDING blah).

"That's a nice welcome", he said.

I don't know didl, just habit I think. This thread made me worried I'd been upsetting DH for years. Apparently not though.

"It any other situation like when putting them to bed it's easy enough to break away for less than a minute it takes to open the door.'

Completely disagree. Bedtime is hard enough and, in this house, took a lot of prep (darkening the room, getting the nappy ready, laying out the PJs, choosing some books, bringing a glass of water, getting the tooth brush and paste ready) to even have a chance of running smoothly.

If I'd wandered out of the room at any point, I'd come back to find a very restless child, out of bed, disrupted, in no mood to sleep. I certainly would not find a dozy toddler sitting on the bed talking to their teddies.

But even so Pip, why don't you just get your key out? What makes it preferable to stand at the door waiting for your DH to let you in?

getout We have a Yale lock, you can't unlock it without the door actually being open. I don't feel happy leaving my front door wide open whilst upstairs with my toddler. I'd also be leaving other children downstairs. Not everyone has a barrel lock.

I think if the OP is not doing anything in particular she would't mind as much but if it always happens in the middle of bedtime it's annoying.
I agree with others, I expect he remembers stuff like car key, travel card, phone, wallet so he can remember keys too.

PovertyPain

It doesn't happen that often and I will get up and answer the buzzer out of habit. It's only when I've answered it that I realise it's DH being a knob

I have low tolerance for people who make the same mistakes over and over and don't learn from it > this

My DS has, in fairness always been good with door keys as he had a sibling for whom medical emrgencies where not uncommon, so just because we should be in didn't mean we would be, so they key had to be remembered. However, his skills and logic have not transferred to the issue of toilet rolls. We have a bathroom that is almost entirely used by him. He regularly doesn't bother to replace the toilet roll when it runs out. Having found himself caught on the loo one night without any toilet roll, he shouted to us to get him one (we were in bed). I emphasised the need to replace as soon as it is empty. Having passed his bathroom yesterday and noticed the empty roll, I reminded him of the need to replace. So when he went to the loo later in the day and needed toilet paper and there was none, he yelled down the stairs to me. I reminded him of how old he was, how he should already have learned his lesson and that he had ignored my reminder earlier, and that he must now do whatever he would have done if I had not been in the house. Sounds harsh but in my book it's the only way he will stock being so lazy learn.

The rare forgettiing of a key is understandable but when it is regularly and they fail to replace the spare key safe key then that is just irresponsible.

NerdyBird

getout We have a Yale lock, you can't unlock it without the door actually being open.

Oh right, I get it now, yeah that's not an option then.

Get smart locks- for about £200 you can get a lock you can open with your phone (from the couch or bed or loo)

Are you seriously suggesting that spending £200 is a realistic alternative to him remembering his keys?!

This is why some people dont bother taking responsibility for themselves, because there will always be some sucker who will do it for them.

Well I only suggest it because I want a smart lock on my house because I think it's a neat idea. I think he should take responsibility, but smart locks are cool

They make me a bit nervous - someone steals your phone, gets past the security lock, looks on your google maps for "home", uses the app to break in....

What would he have done if you were out somewhere with the kids?

It's been lovely weather for an early evening stroll to the park ...