Sayings from parents, grandparents or elders

[Cupcake1315]

Just that really.......
No aibu, just wanted to hear some funny sayings......

My nan said to me once, "if you don't know where the grave is, then don't lift up the coffin."

Also when I dumped my bf and I was feeling bad she said, "if duck doesn't leave the pond, then the pond will leave the duck."

Anyone with any to share? If I think of more I will add.

A local one that I picked up from my mum: "gone round Sark to get to Herm", means you've done something a long, complicated way when there was an easier solution, or when travelling you've had to go the long way around.

Can't remember much of what my grandparents used to say but my mum's parents were from Lapland and had some weird sayings that don't make any sense for example "Remember bone isn't meat, and sheep's heads aren't sausages" and "Why? For it is Autumn and the strawberries are not ripe"

What I mostly remember my grandmother saying was "A fine lady is always a fine lady", mostly while she despaired of my tomboyish ways.

My Grampa has currently taken to referring to himself as 60+VAT (hes 72). I find this quite sweet bless

If you don't stop crying, I'll give you something to cry about.

If ever we sat on the floor outside my nan would say "get up before you get chin cough". No idea what chin cough is!

All fur coat and no knickers....think they are better than they are! I use this a lot!

'Tha's got a face like a slapped arse' my Nan when anyone looked miserable.

My dad when ever I went out of the door for a night out 'keep her knickers at high port'

My mum always used to say "which leg would you like? The left one or the right one?" If she thought you were taking the piss.

Oh and my grandma always says "it'll end up in a bubbling match!" Which means someone will end up crying lol

my granda after we had made some sort of racket on various instruments and would ask what he thought of our song- ' thats the song the auld cow died whey'

'all fur coat and no knickers'

when you complained of some pain or ache it was accompanied with 'don't shout about it or everyone will want one'

'lazy as shuck water'

as a toast... generally at weddings for some reason 'may you be half an hour in heaven before the devil knows your dead'

'now we're suckin diesel'

My gran had a rhyme to tickle you with..
Head of knowledge.. point to head

Eyes of sight .. point to eyes
Snotty ocean .. nose

Isle of white .. mouth

Breast of mutton .. chest
Bag of fat... tummy
Vinegar bottle.. front bum

Mustard pot.. arse

I know I know.

Love these!
My Nanna, who was a lovely lady and very much one for looking on the bright side despite going through a lot in her life used to say "it'll all be alright in the end", then when we complained it was NOT alright, would say "well, if it's not alright, then it's not the end" meaning that life would go on and things would get better.

She also said "if you're going to get run over, make sure you pick a Rolls Royce".

Talking about difficulties in marriages/relationships, she always maintained lack of money made things hard "when want comes in the door, love goes out the window" but very much disapproved of a friend of my mother's who married a well off but unattractive man, darkly warning "night must fall..."!

A woman I cared for (in her late 80s, 20 years ago), told me her mum had told her "not to come home with her knickers in her pocket, and a shilling in her hand".

Another from my Mum: 'She's a face'd stand clogging', ie she's so hard faced you could hit it with a clog and it wouldn't do any damage.