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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To report him to environmental health (snoring)

18 replies

Thekitten · 12/06/2017 01:15

I recently split with my partner, and for various reasons am staying with my parents while I figure out what to do.
I've been here a couple of weeks and am utterly sleep deprived, because of my dad's snoring :'( it's not just loud enough to wake the street (it is) but it's the weird sleep noises, he chokes, wakes up retching and throws up in the middle of the night etc. It. Doesn't. Stop. All. Night.
He had an operation on his nose about ten years ago, and it only made things worse! Before the op he was just snoring, after the op the other noises and retching started.
My mum doesn't go to bed until 2am most nights so she will go to sleep, I don't know how she functions to be honest.
He won't see a doctor, and I'm too nice to put a pillow over his head, so short of phoning the council and reporting him for noise pollution, wtf wyd?

OP posts:
BlindYeo · 12/06/2017 01:28

Too nice to put a pillow over his head Grin

To be fair, I think it's your mother's place to complain and insist on any action, not yours but I'm v sympathetic to your plight. Is this why you are posting at 1.26 in the morning?

Can you record him and play the recording back to him?!

Original poster
Thekitten · 12/06/2017 01:33

@blindyeo that is exactly why. I'm shattered and had a really weird day, all I want is some sleep :'( I'll try recording it, thing is in not sure that'd help cause he's just reluctant to do anything about it. My mum not going to bed til 2 should've been the prompt if anything :/

OP posts:
QueenMortifauxcado · 12/06/2017 01:38

Aside from the choking does he also suddenly stop as if he's stopped breathing? Very loud snoring can be an indicator of sleep apnoea which can cause serious health problems if left untreated. Presenting him with some information might give him a push to get it checked?

gleam · 12/06/2017 01:43

Haven't you tried earplugs?

Original poster
Thekitten · 12/06/2017 01:43

@queenmortifauxcado
I don't know in all honesty. I know he used to, it's quite possible he still does. I'll check with my mum about it. Thanks for this :)
I've also just got a decent recording so will try that too.

OP posts:
ChesterFuckingDraws · 12/06/2017 01:44

Recording it might help, DH was adamant he didn't snore until I recorded him a few times not that it's stopped him
Could you wear earplugs? Some nights they're the only thing that saves DH from being smothered.

Original poster
Thekitten · 12/06/2017 01:46

@gleam that's next on the list. I'm sceptical though as I have tinnitus, and worry that the plugs will make that louder. Will try though.

OP posts:
gleam · 12/06/2017 01:58

How about a white noise app? May help with tinnitus or drowning out your dad's snoring.

QueenMortifauxcado · 12/06/2017 02:03

Hope it helps and if there's a history do try and get it checked out. Dp used to snore very loudly, turns out he was stopping breathing for up to a minute at a time throughout the night. He sleeps much better and is less tired now it's being treated.

Original poster
Thekitten · 12/06/2017 07:58

Thanks all :) I found a white noise video on YouTube and that helped a lot! I spoke to my mum this morning and he does have sleep apnoea, but he doesn't think the doctor can help. I'll see if I can talk to him tonight or something. Thanks for the tips!

OP posts:
WorkingItOutAsIGo · 12/06/2017 08:48

The doctor can indeed help! They can give him a cpap machine and though it takes a little bit of getting used to he will sleep so much better and feel like a new man!

StumpyScot92 · 12/06/2017 09:26

Just to say - I feel your pain.

I moved back in with my mum for 2 years, she snores so loud that when I went downstairs to sleep on the couch the pictures would rattle on the walls still down there. I was lucky to get 4 hours a night, never solid always broken and it was sending me slowly insane. My mums was caused by excessive weight according to everyone (medical and otherwise unwanted opinions from my gran to her) other than my mum who seemed adamant it was unrelated so never tried to lose weight.

I lost count of the amount of times I felt like smothering her...

Never found a solution, tried all the expensive earplugs and would sleep with my earphones in playing white noise but it would still chime through. Since moving out I'm getting a good solid 8-9 hours a night and it is bliss!

If you have any options to move ( I didn't for a few years) I highly suggest you take it haha.

agentdaisy · 12/06/2017 09:50

A cpap machine will help with the snoring. He'll be stopping breathing several times and hour if he has sleep apnoea and it can be dangerous. My mum used to snore so loud that I could hear it over the TV downstairs, she was diagnosed with sleep apnoea and given a cpap machine to use at night and it instantly stopped the snoring.

Nymerialuna · 12/06/2017 10:28

My DH is a snorer! Even on his side but he always gets bad leg cramps at night so he tends to sleep on his back so the cramps (which can be really severe) don't start.
I have brought some really comfortable ear phones and listen to music or an audio book through them when he's bad. I set it on a timer to turn off after an hour and it has saved my sanity.
I have also silcon ear plugs which were great but then strands of hair would stuck in them and if I moved I would wake up because of the hair pulling!

reetgood · 12/06/2017 10:32

Sleep apnea can be helped, and by all accounts he will feel pretty miraculous once he starts actually having sleep. Keep leaning! If applicable, losing weight, stopping smoking and avoiding alcohol also helps, but if you're sleep deprived it can be difficult to lose weight so vicious circle. Tell him to stop being so daft and get to the doctors.

Dawndonnaagain · 12/06/2017 10:37

If he has sleep apnoea he needs to see the doctor and get a machine. Apart from the health benefits it is illegal for him to drive/operate machinery etc at the moment. Should he have an accident his insurance will be invalidated.
PS. CPAP machines take a bit of getting used to, and they are a touch noisy. It's worth ensuring he perseveres, the difference is nigh on miraculous. I have a son with sleep apnoea.

Redsippycup · 12/06/2017 10:44

My friend used to snore horrifically loudly - he was diagnosed with sleep apnoea and was given a machine with a mask to wear (i assume that's what pp are talking about) and the change was amazing - we used to holiday together and we had to book 2 properties so he could sleep seperately to everyone else (his insistence, not ours! And we could still hear him!) then the machine made that unnecessary.

It's quite a dangerous condition. You can ring his GP and give them info on what he is like. Obviously they can't discuss it with you but they can use that info when he talks to them. If he is telling the GP everything is fine then they can't help him.

Original poster
Thekitten · 15/06/2017 10:58

Just wanted to say thank you for your suggestions everyone :) the white noise has helped a lot, and I spoke to my dad yesterday about his snoring and played him the recording I took. He said it just sounded like breathing but I said even if it was I shouldn't be able to hear it from my room! He's got to go to the docs anyway so he said he will bring it up with them (almost tempted to go with him to make sure he does!) I told him about the cpap machine, and he was interested so maybe it'll be a good option. Will see! Fingers crossed

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