This park worker

[LittleBooInABox]

Today my son (7) and I went out on our monthly day together to a local farm/park area.

The day was going well we'd seen the animals and painted pottery. As we were walking back to the play area, my son spotted the zorb area, giant water balls. He said he wanted a turn.

I explained to him that he had to sit in the ball, while the man blew it up with a leaf blower type pump that was loud I explained this twice. We stood fairly close to the child in front being secured into the ball so my son could watch and see what would happen. He is a very nervous child. I asked again if he was sure he wanted to go on it. He said he was.

The man of about 20 (not sure it's relevant) called us over, I explained that my son was nervous but wanted to go on. Could we give it a go. He guided my son into the ball, told him to put his hands over his ears, placed the leaf blower type thing inside and started inflating.

My son started to cry, I tried to reassure him from out side the hall but he was having none of it. It was to loud for me to get the attendants attention by taking, nor could I reach the zipper to open the ball to retrieve my child. So I tapped him on the shoulder.

The man eventually stopped and my son is crying uncontrollably at this point. He wants to get out, doesn't want to go on anymore, and the man instead of opening the zorb says to my upset son "if you don't stop the tantrum I won't let you out."

At this point I push past him, open the zorb and hug my child, I ask the man his name and am so shocked didn't know what else to say.

Sat on the bench for twenty minutes calming my son. When I decide to speak to the manager whom apologises but doesn't look like she's taking the issue seriously. We stayed at the park and had some lunch but left shortly after because my sons confidence was knocked. He was worried they wouldn't let him get off other rides.

WIBU to call tomorrow and make a complaint with a more senior manager. Or am I being a bit sensitive about the issue? I just feel it's the wrong thing for a stranger to say to an obviously upset child.

Once again muckypup the child's behaviour was not the issue in question. It's the man's behaviour that was the problem! It is irrelevant whether the crying child has SN or not. This man told a scared, crying child he would keep him in the zone unless he stopped crying. That's not ok. It doesn't matter if the child has SN or not.

*zorb.

I read the opening post as being from a non-resident father, rather a mother. The monthly outing comment for e.g, which may put a different spin on some aspects of this story-the 20 mins calming down etc.

I think you should ring the farm place tomorrow & reiterate your complaint, but that said, I also think you should have jollied your DS along quickly and distracted him onto the next thing, instead of dwelling. Definitely work on building your son's resilience for the future.

Yes, you are being far too sensitive. You are doing your son no favours. Work on teaching him how to be more resilient and work on your own anxieties. Turn this negative event into something positive. No way should it take 20 mins to take a child to calm down after such an event. I wonder how he gets on at school.

YABU.

Smothering rather than mothering. 20 minutes? A 7 year old? Good grief.

It wasn't a nice thing to have happened, but you and your son both sound extremely highly strung.

you gave into your son knowing he would react like that

Totally unfair. OP's not psychic. If her son had never been on a zorb before, how tf would she 'know' how he'd respond?

Well neither is the worker. The op is the parent ,it's down to her and no one else.
The worker is 20 and working a minimum wage job,give them a break.

This is a 20 year old man, probably on min wage, and probably with no experience in dealing with anxious children. I suspect it's down to a lack of training, so I wouldn't seek to blame him directly if you do decide to complain - focus on the need for better training.

^^ this

I'm surprised he's nervous. Why are you enabling this?
I can remember crying on loads of rides as a child, my parents didn't come on to get me off What were you thinking?
If he's that nervous concentrate on helping him to not be, by not allowing the rides in the first place, he'll soon stop if he thinks he'll miss out.
It's your call if you think he'll manage it, stop giving into him and blaming others when it isn't right.

that should be not surprised he's nervous.

Well to be fair it took op 20 minutes to calm down her child.,What chance did a worker have.

Your fault for letting him do it if you knew he would make a fuss. Sounds like he might be being babied a bit and not encouraged to develop resilience. A 20 minute calm down for a non event? A slightly more matter of fact attitude might help. You know, "Blow your nose and dry your eyes and lets go on the tractor" or similar.

I don't think you were wrong to let him try it, OP. How will he ever learn what he does and doesn't enjoy? And I don't agree with those saying, the guy was young, might not have kids, etc. All the more reason for him to keep his mouth shut and let you handle it. The manager could have at least acted like she was taking it seriously. But I wouldn't phone again. If he's that insensitive, there will be more people speaking to his manager anyway.

Leave it be. You're not blameless in this and as others have stated the worker would have been on minimum wage and everybody loses if you make a fuss

YABU

??? The OP didnt do anything wrong. She encouraged her child's wish to be brave. If she hadn't maybe she could be accused of holding him back and validating his fear.

She warned the attendent DS was nervous so the man would know to be careful and be aware of the child's needs. That is normal and helpful.

But instead of being quick to repsond to the child's distress, the man continued the cause of the distress for longer than necessary. That is awful behaviour and a perverse way to respond. It might be common but it isn;t nice.

If someone, particularly a child is distressed, isn't it better to stop the cause of the distress if you can and help them? Anything else is just odd and it isn't up to stranger to decide if someone needs 'exposure therapy'. It isn't like the boy was having a life saving treatment and needed to bear it somehow.

If this same 20 year man was on top of his girlfriend (maybe your DD for eg) during sex and she wanted him to stop for some reason and became upset, is he entitled to carry on holding/ weighing her down until she stops crying? Of course not. It wouldn't be kind or a funny joke then, so it is no different for the OP's son.

The attendent needs more training or to work in another aspect of the job.

Fears and phobias can be overcome but not by forcing people in circumstances beyond their control.

A 7yr old who needed 20 minutes to calm down?????

Either there will be a SEN drip feed or OP is seriously over indulgent.

You almost certainly made the tantrum worse with your behaviour. A quick hug and a lets go somewhere else would have sufficed!

Geez...

Yesterday 23:14 dustarr73

Well to be fair it took op 20 minutes to calm down her child.,What chance did a worker have.

He wasn't being asked to calm the child down, just let him out when he asked rather than threaten to keep him inside until he stopped crying.

Bandeau Sally he probably made a mistake,being human and all. not letting the child out the nanosecond he became upset.

The op still let her child in,knowing and( that words important) That her child was nervous.

You're not talking about a child who suddenly freaked out,he was known to be nervous.You have to let kids try things.Iget that but you cant blame somebody else when normal playtime ( which it is for the worker) turns a bit uugh..

If this same 20 year man was on top of his girlfriend (maybe your DD for eg) during sex and she wanted him to stop for some reason and became upset, is he entitled to carry on holding/ weighing her down until she stops crying? Of course not. It wouldn't be kind or a funny joke then, so it is no different for the OP's son.

Really, you're saying not being allowed out of a ride is the same as rape.@lastcheesestraw I have really read it all now.

Bandeau Sally he probably made a mistake,being human and all.

Which is why I said he needs training. not publicly whipped

you cant blame somebody else when normal playtime ( which it is for the worker) turns a bit uugh

Nobody blamed him for the child crying, they're blaming him for threatening to keep the child in the ball until he stopped crying. That was mean. No-one made him say that. That was his own choice. Nothing OP did.

I wonder how many of the people who think the 7 year old is being 'over-indulged' would be saying this if the 7 year old was a girl rather than a boy?

I can't believe some of the responses on here.

If you're still angry, and don't feel taken seriously, report to someone more senior on monday. Human beings do not react well to feeling trapped and the guy's response was really not funny.

I'm not saying it is the same as rape.

I am saying that the child wanted something to stop and instead of complying, the attendent carried on with a situation where the child felt trapped. The child could not get out himself and was reliant on the attendent to let him out.

In many other circumstances this would not be ok, so why is it ok here?

I get what you mean last. It sounds bad when comparing the two but the fear is the same really.

He's only a young lad running an attraction - how is he meant to make judgements about what is normal to say to children when they get upset? I think you are expecting too much from him, and although I understand why you would have been cross at the time, I think still thinking about it now is OTT. Let it go.