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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Stuck organizing DD 2nd birthday while 8 months pregnant

75 replies

newbian · 08/06/2017 02:26

We threw DD a nice birthday party last year, hired a venue, fancy cake, decorations, the whole thing. This year, as I will be 8 months pregnant, I do not want to repeat the same and was planning on baking some small cakes at home and having some of her friends meet us in the local park to run around.

DH's reaction is we must throw her a party. His idea is to invite 20 families, hire a venue again, catered BBQ lunch, and a bouncy castle. I told him I am not going to have the energy to organize a party like this so close to my due date. He said he will plan it. OK...no he won't. It will fall to me because things like this always do. He's never planned a single party we've thrown.

AIBU not to want to plan a huge event for a 2 year old while I'm a waddling whale?

OP posts:
YoureNotASausage · 08/06/2017 02:30

Waste of time, money and energy for a 2 yr old. They're happy with a pack of buttons!

MarcelineTheVampire · 08/06/2017 02:31

YANBU - seriously, leave it all to him if he wants to do it, don't engage at all.

It does seem a little OTT for a 2nd birthday but if you can afford it, none of my business.

ICanTuckMyBoobsInMyPockets · 08/06/2017 02:31

What on earth???

No way. I can see how you'd get caught up in the excitement for the first birthday of your PFB, but that's where it ends.

She doesn't need a party and you don't need the stress.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 08/06/2017 02:32

Well, YANBU to not want to not want to plan a huge event, and nor can I blame you. I couldn't walk at 8 months. Let alone throw a party and entertain guests.
However. Here's the YABU, bit. Your dd still deserves a fuss making of with a party. She shouldn't have to miss out because you're pregnant.
Its her day.

seoulsurvivor · 08/06/2017 02:32

So just leave it then. He said he'll plan it. If he doesn't, what's the worst that sill happen?

Cheby · 08/06/2017 02:37

Just don't do it?

We had a soft play party for DD1 when I was pregnant with 8 months DD2.just pay and turn up.

Cantseethewoods · 08/06/2017 02:40

If he wants to do it, let him do it but be utterly clear that you will not be getting involved in any way whatsoever. It lives or dies on his efforts

However, I also agree that she'll be happy with a little park picnic.

AcrossthePond55 · 08/06/2017 03:04

Then let him go head on. If it falls apart he will have learnt a lesson, won't he?

highinthesky · 08/06/2017 03:08

Your dd still deserves a fuss making of with a party. She shouldn't have to miss out because you're pregnant.

She's going to be 2, and would have as much fun with a low-key celebration the OP originally intended. When we celebrated DDs 2nd birthday, the object of most fascination was not the presents, party, balloons etc...it was the knife she used to cut her cake! Confused

Original poster
newbian · 08/06/2017 03:23

Yes I should add I also think it's a massive waste of money! Bouncy castle for 2 year olds?! I don't know where DH picked up this idea. She literally has more fun with a cardboard box than with half the fancy toys she's been given by grandparents.

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 08/06/2017 03:42

If it's a venue, fully catered for, he can organise it. However I really don't understand the need to do this all over again. I perhaps get it for first birthdays but not thereafter. Surely the most likely birthdays to celebrate on a larger scale are 1, 18 or 21. We had low key ones in the garden btw until dd was 5. A few friends and family for dds first and then parents with children and grandparents for the second.

NoncommittalToSparkleMotion · 08/06/2017 03:47

Jesus. What are you going to do for her 18th??

If he says he'll do it, leave him to it. You've said you don't want to, he's insisted. Not your problem.

Mysterycat23 · 08/06/2017 03:52

I'd quietly organise the park. But also encourage DH to plan this amazing party he has in mind. You will either end up with a great party for DD or a lifetime's worth of ammunition. Grin

BeeThirtythree · 08/06/2017 04:11

Is the party more for the 20 families approval than your DD?
Just take your DC out to the zoo or park and make it a family affair!

LilyMcClellan · 08/06/2017 04:35

Sounds like you'll get a lovely day out at the park with a few friends and some small cakes when your DH fails to organize the extravaganza.

RedSandYellowSand · 08/06/2017 04:52

Well, DS2 was due a couple of days before DS1s second birthday.
It was the lowest key birthday ever - he got a cake, candles, presents.
And a 4 day old baby brother to share it with.
Doesn't seem to have affected him!
Do whatever your happy with.

Original poster
newbian · 08/06/2017 04:54

I'm loving the suggestions to refuse to participate in any planning. I would bet good money that if I don't get involved, DH's extravaganza will not happen. He's already asked what venue to book and where to get the bouncy castle - I'm thinking, your idea, you figure it out!

Also something DH doesn't realize is a lot of the kids in our area just have these little park parties and DD LOVES them, which is why I thought it made sense in the first place!

OP posts:
RebootYourEngine · 08/06/2017 05:24

I would definately leave him to organise it.

JMKid · 08/06/2017 05:26

Had a party for DS 1st then a trip to the zoo for his 2nd with the family. Don't waste your money. They are still far to young to understand. DS didn't care about his presents, cards or a themed balloon I got.

NightWanderer · 08/06/2017 05:27

Emphasize that it's DD's birthday and that's what she wants, a park party. He can have a bouncy castle on his birthday if that's what he wants.

With my kids, we rarely do parties mostly because of the timing. They get to choose what they want to do though. Sometimes we go out for the day, sometimes we do something at home but the kid chooses, as long as it's within reason.

SnugglyBedSocks · 08/06/2017 05:51

He has said he will do it so let him do it. Let him research venues, entertainers etc.

If you help in any way then that's your own fault. Just be very non- committal. You have told him quite rightly that it is too much for you to sort out. Please don't be a doormat and end up doing it.

Do update us OP on whether it happens!

PrimalLass · 08/06/2017 05:51

She is 2. She won't have a clue what you did last year or even remember this one in years to come, is your DH very show-offy usually?

KERALA1 · 08/06/2017 05:58

Honestly - ott children's parties for babies are utterly bonkers unless both parents want to have one for their fun.

Child hasn't got a clue. Save your energy for when it matters Dd aged 10 plans hers in minute detail 6 months in advance and has done for years that's when the pressures really on. For her second I was heavily pregnant I took her to a petting farm with my mum jobdone.

NotYoda · 08/06/2017 06:19

Grrrr. Am angry on your behalf. He can organise it. It'll be good for him. Once your second baby comes he'll have to be more helpful anyway - it's all hands on deck with two.

But it's needless to throw a party for a 2 year old. Cake, candles, pressies at home.Done

MistressDeeCee · 08/06/2017 06:38

Leave him to it then, don't get involved in the planning. If he tries to rope you in remind him that he said he would do the planning. Worst comes to worst he doesn't plan it then you have cake candles presents at home and a nice day out if youre up to it. Its him that wants to show off to others so, let him get on with it

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