Stuck organizing DD 2nd birthday while 8 months pregnant

[newbian]

We threw DD a nice birthday party last year, hired a venue, fancy cake, decorations, the whole thing. This year, as I will be 8 months pregnant, I do not want to repeat the same and was planning on baking some small cakes at home and having some of her friends meet us in the local park to run around.

DH's reaction is we must throw her a party. His idea is to invite 20 families, hire a venue again, catered BBQ lunch, and a bouncy castle. I told him I am not going to have the energy to organize a party like this so close to my due date. He said he will plan it. OK...no he won't. It will fall to me because things like this always do. He's never planned a single party we've thrown.

AIBU not to want to plan a huge event for a 2 year old while I'm a waddling whale?

Practice saying 'I don't know' whenever he asks any questions about where/when/why.
He said he'd sort it so let him. I wouldn't even plan a quiet alternative as that way he'll get used to the idea that your job is to be his back up. (FWIW, we had a big celebration for DS 1st but that was more for us. His 2nd and 3rd were low key)

We had 1st birthday parties for our dcs & then small get togethers with GPs, any aunts/uncles that were free until school age when you have to endure some awful soft play etc. Get away with no parties for as long as possible.

Absolutely YANBU! She won't care or remember.

Didn't have a 2nd birthday party for DD as we just came back from holiday, she survived.

Although we have a third birthday party, just a few of friends from her creche round for cake etc.

You honestly don't need to make a big fuss of birthdays when they're very young as they don't remember. Your plans sound much nicer.

YANBU - If DH is the one who wants it then he should organise it. But planning a family party of 20 really isn't hard work, even if you're 8 months pregnant.

A venue for a child's first birthday party is way OTT. Definitely about the parents not the chid.

However taking age out of it, it doesn't take that much time or effort to arrange a children's birthday party so you could have easily done between you.

Refusing to do things as you are pregnant is silly, it's not like it was dangerous etc.

YABU to throw such parties and YABU to be resentful.

Don't do it then? 2yr olds don't need a party.

One argument that might get through to him is that my first thought was you would be mad to spend so much money on something that can't be cancelled at that late stage of pregnancy as you could be in labour or on bed rest or with a prem baby by then. Can you get something like wedding insurance?!

Other than that, if he must, push him towards something that's a package deal - perhaps a soft play with bouncy castles. So he can just book it and it's all taken care of for him. If he insists on planning it you really must refuse to get involved other than turning up on the day - if you are able. Might be good to let him see how much work it is if this is the sort of thing he expects you for every birthday in future.

Neither of my DC had 1st or 2nd parties beyond cake, balloon and presents with close family. 3rd, some friends too at home, 4th onwards, soft play. Picnic sounds lovely. Do that. A lot easier to reschedule a picnic at short notice.

The OP is planning a party though, albeit a more low-key, age-appropriate kind of party.

I agree with leaving him to plan it. You don't want it to happen, you don't want to own it, so why on earth get involved? Let him do it and if/when it doesn't happen then buy a cake and candles and just celebrate at home. 2yr olds don't care!
I've done parties for all mine at that age but fully admit it was about me and an excuse to get all our friends together and eat cake! None of my kids remember their 2nd birthdays and it was basically a glorified toddler group session for them!

Step back, don't get involved!

AS long as what he does won't clash with what you are doing...

OP- could you and dh not sit down and meet some where in the middle? For example let your dh order a really special cake? Or have a lovely picnic with all the families in the park?

My dds second birthday we hired a soft play venue, with a disco and characters and the little ones loves it we had the first slot and it was empty so the little ones could run around with very little intervention, I know that this is not everyone's cup of tea though.

That's mad! We had grandparents, bil/sil and her cousin for our daughter's second birthday and she loved it. I think less is more at that age.

for ds1 2nd birthday I really can't remember what we did . Ds 2 was 3 weeks old and still in hospital and we moved house all in a 4 week period after ds2 was born. We probably had cake !!!
For ds2 second birthday we didn't really do anything but ds1 had a party and we sang happy birthday to ds 2 then aswell!!!
Let your dh plan the party. Let's hope your second child doesn't arrive early!!

He said he will plan it. OK...no he won't

More fool you for stepping in.
Don't be the victim/martyr.
Let him stand on his own two feet.

If there is money to burn, it would be far better for super-daddy to invest that money in a pot for higher education or a deposit for a first home.....it sure will be more appreciated when the time comes.

Just let him plan it. He wants to do it and she is his DD as well so let him enjoy it if it is something that is important to him.

It is an ongoing theme that men don't follow through, or are not able to do simple things like planning a party for a 2 year old.

For mine, at 2 I asked the nursery who she plays with the most and invited 3 or 4 friends from nursery to home, M&S cake and that's it

At 3 then you can add musical statues or pass the parcel and then at 4 a proper party... before then? waste of money!

He's mad. Why would u have a massive party for one , two year olds? That's not for the kids.

Waste of time, money and effort to have such a big party for a 2 year old.

IMO these party's are more for the adults than the birthday child. Have a small birthday tea at home or take her on a day out she will enjoy.

Venue vs small party for a child's birthday is all down to personal choice and family finances

My dd loved her parties at venues and we've booked another venue for this year we've got quite a lot of children in our family and friends so it's easier for us, it's all down to personal choice.

Nerves2017 But planning a family party of 20 really isn't hard work, even if you're 8 months pregnant.

It's not a family party of 20, it's a party with 20 families in attendance! Each with 1-2 parents and at least 1 child.

I'm emboldened by the thread ladies, either DH plans it or it's not happening, I am NOT stepping in to get involved.

And yes I will still try to do cupcakes in the park on a different day as I know she'll love it

Sorry but I would judge you as parents for having any massive venue parties for any child under 6! What on earth are you thinking? It's completely for you not for your child.

Jesus my twin dds were 18 a few weeks ago and we had s family meal.

What a complete waste of time money effort and fuss.