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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Stuck organizing DD 2nd birthday while 8 months pregnant

75 replies

newbian · 08/06/2017 02:26

We threw DD a nice birthday party last year, hired a venue, fancy cake, decorations, the whole thing. This year, as I will be 8 months pregnant, I do not want to repeat the same and was planning on baking some small cakes at home and having some of her friends meet us in the local park to run around.

DH's reaction is we must throw her a party. His idea is to invite 20 families, hire a venue again, catered BBQ lunch, and a bouncy castle. I told him I am not going to have the energy to organize a party like this so close to my due date. He said he will plan it. OK...no he won't. It will fall to me because things like this always do. He's never planned a single party we've thrown.

AIBU not to want to plan a huge event for a 2 year old while I'm a waddling whale?

OP posts:

Nicpem1982 · 08/06/2017 11:18

Wait- why would you judge some one for having "massive venue parties" I don't think there's any need to judge you don't know the reasons behind it

Surely the correct response to an invitation would be to rsvp promptly?

CheeseOfHearts · 08/06/2017 11:44

Nicpem- 'for any child under six' is the key phrase. Maybe because most young children would be perfectly happy to have friends round to play and fairy cakes made out of a box, and a big ostentatious party would clearly not be for their benefit but for their parents and their friends?

Party in the park sounds lovely, stick to your guns OP!

Tazerface · 08/06/2017 11:50

FFS just let him get on with it, waste of time and money although it would be nice getting people together.

For a two year old, bloody hell...

PickAChew · 08/06/2017 11:50

If he wants it he can bloody well do it!

Kids don't need massive, overwhelming birthday parties, every year. Especially not toddlers!

Tazerface · 08/06/2017 11:51

(FFS directed at your DH not you btw!)

FlyingElbows · 08/06/2017 11:55

Two year olds (and people who are not even two!) do not care about performance parties. Be careful op, because you are going to run out of extravaganzas before she's 8 if you carry on at this rate. Yanbu at all to tell your Dh to do it himself but I'd advise you to wind it in big style whatever party you do. A run in the park is a much better idea

PaintingOwls · 08/06/2017 11:56

Sounds like a great idea. Wish him luck in pulling it all together.

PrimalLass · 08/06/2017 11:57

Just remind him that 8 months is classed as almost full term so it is foolish to arrange a party you might not be able to attend.

viques · 08/06/2017 12:26

all a two year old needs is a couple of doting grannies, a daddy with a camera,a cake, some chocolate finger biscuits and some little sandwiches. And a mummy on the sofa wishing there was some proper fizz in her glass of orange juice. If you really wanted to push the boat out you could have a little friend or two ( this means you would lose some of your sofa space though) some balloons and a bubble machine.

waitforitfdear · 08/06/2017 12:29

Nic for a child under 6! Read the posts properly

DancingLedge · 08/06/2017 12:31

Also quite a few 2 yr olds are going to be simply overwhelmed by the build up and then 20 families, and not enjoy their day.

Not only decline to so much as help by not giving a single suggestion, also point out that if you don't feel up to it, have complications, or even imminent labour, you may not be there, and he's on his own.

Whosthebestbabainalltheworld · 08/06/2017 12:34

DD is 3 today. I can't remember what we did for her 2nd birthday, so I'm damn sure she can't remember either. Your husband is actually planning an adults party while you're 8 months pregnant and dressing it up as a party for your DD. Leave him to it 100%

embo1 · 08/06/2017 13:08

No way I'd be up for that. Why not just sit back and let him organise it all by himself.

arbrighton · 08/06/2017 13:13

Nephew had a few friends over for an easter egg hunt in the garden this year for his 2nd birthday as his little brother was about 4 weeks old

Your husband is being frigging ridiculous, but then it was ridiculous to have a big party last year too.

KERALA1 · 08/06/2017 13:15

Be careful you don't end up like a mum in dds class - I had to ring her to let her know Dd couldn't go to her sons 5th party as she had vomited her response "I don't fucking care I'm in labour" (the nicest most non sweary mum imaginable! )

You really really should not be stressing about an event at this point. Both mine born at 8 months does happen. Tell Dh crack on but you will not lift a finger and in fact you might not even go, so if he wants to proceed solo he can knock himself out.

KERALA1 · 08/06/2017 13:17

Also your friends will think you are mental but will likely be too polite to say that to your face.

Nicpem1982 · 08/06/2017 13:47

Wait - regardless of the age of a child why would you judge?

GiveMyHeadPeaceffs · 08/06/2017 13:53

My ds is 2 next week...I'm having close relatives around for cake and a cuppa the following Saturday. End of. They're only 2, save the big stuff until they can really get involved and enjoy it.

RebootYourEngine · 08/06/2017 14:06

20 families!! TWENTY!! Thats around about 70/80 people. For a 2 yr olds birthday. Has your dh gone mad

Itsjustaphase2016 · 08/06/2017 14:06

OP don't listen the poster who said "your DD should miss out because you're pregnant" or you will set yourself up for a world of guilt with your newborn. Your DD will and can miss out on things because you are pregnant / have a newborn/ she has a sibling. But she will gain SO much more.

Don't do a huge party!! She won't even like it anyway! Definitely do something small that she'll enjoy and feel centre of attention. And where you can focus on her, not all
the guests

Itsjustaphase2016 · 08/06/2017 14:08

meant yo say shouldn't

SnugglyBedSocks · 09/06/2017 16:41

OP - any update

Original poster

newbian · 14/06/2017 13:49

Not yet as it's a few months away! But a friend who is 7.5 months pregnant has just been put on bedrest until she delivers so he's realized not to take for granted that we'll be in a position to throw a massive party when I'm 8 months.

I did tell him I will do absolutely nothing but turn up and sit and he said fine. So we'll see.

OP posts:

VestalVirgin · 14/06/2017 14:28

I did tell him I will do absolutely nothing but turn up and sit and he said fine. So we'll see.

Do exactly that.

When a week before he still hasn't done anything, and you want a party, you can still bake a cake and invite some few people.

But honestly, birthday parties for children that age are more for the parents, your daughter won't be disappointed if there's no party.

Willow2017 · 14/06/2017 15:28

Is he mad?

20 families for a 2yr old party?
A 2 year old who would rather run around the park with her family and best friends with some picnic food.

Tell him to get a grip, he is just trying to impress these '20 families' what a load of nonsense. Tell him all her friends have park parties and thats what she wants and thats what she is having. The focus is on your DD, NOT HIM and his big ideas. He can go party with his '20 families' another day.

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