Should it be illegal for 1st cousins to marry?

[brasty]

My DP's parents are 1st cousins, and DP has a genetic illness. Marrying your 1st cousin increases the chances of genetic illness. So I wonder if we should simply make it illegal for 1st cousins to marry? Obviously anyone married would stay so, it would only apply to new marriages.
AIBU?

I've taken my family tree back a long way, in deepest darkest rural England, and never come across a first cousin marriage.

I only came across two. Six instances of men marrying the younger sister of their dead wife though so that was obviously my lots 'thing'.

Well done MrsDV. Just because only some people do it in the UK, rather than everyone as in ye olden days, it's still a valid health issue.

The race thing is a red herring, whether or not you're sheep-shrieking racism or a ghastly little EDL twat.

I'd be bloody annoyed if I didn't know what I was letting myself in for if my parents had whipped out a suitor from my cousins abroad.

My FIL is arabic and he's the only person in his siblings to discourage this.. all the others (10!) encouraged their children to marry first cousins. Most of the resulting grandkids have health problems including cancer and deafness.. It's not fair on the children. So YANBU.. but like other posters have said, many don't get married nowadays.

It's difficult for people who grew up with their cousins to avoid feeling repulsed, as pp have said, it is an inborn response evolved to prevent close relatives mating. It is quite unkind to express your ick to people born of 1st cousin unions, particularly as isolated first cousin unions are not associated with the same increase in likelihood of genetic disorders as repeated 1st cousin unions over several generations.

Having said that, my brother shares the same number of grandparents with me as each of us does with our first cousins (we have different fathers, so between us have 3 sets of gp). This, for me, makes a sexual relationship with any of my cousins unthinkable.

So essentially carrots - "I don't like it, so it should be illegal."

My wife is in tears now. Really upset. I asked her why and she showed me this thread.

We have a fantastic marriage of 30 years with 2 beautiful, intelligent and successful children.
We are first cousins. Not from a culture where this is normal. I am English, she is Irish.

I can see why she is so upset.
Ugh, weird, idk, sick, revulsion , selfish etc.
Thankfully from a minority of posters

She is crying I am just feeling angry right now at some people.
They are the sick, thoughtless, ignorant ones.

Nor does someone marrying a sibling bother me.

What?! 😷😷😷

It's nothing to do with me Walter

Why would someone's marriage remotely bother or concern me?

Thank goodness a man has come on to the thread to reprimand posters for expressing their opinions

As far as repulsion goes, the very idea of anal sex has always freaked me out - but loads of people love it, I wouldn't want it outlawed for a second. Similarity with your ick feelings, maybe?

Indeed lana

The only justification for ruling who can't marry who is with regard to children and given that people can have children outside of marriage anyway it doesn't seem a good enough reason to outlaw something that frankly is no one else's business.

MrsD I did an audit before I left my post and at that point 98% of our caseload came from one ethnic group. I was pretty surprised as well. I think with medical advances we can now save a lot more children including premature babies and those with conditions such as SMA type 1 and complex cardiac conditions who only 10 years ago would have died soon after birth but are now surviving long enough to need community healthcare.

That people are allowed to express their opinions, whether your wife is crying or not.

It's nobody's fault you married your cousin!

Cal mercifully I'm quite sure that everyone I know would be utterly repulsed by the idea of sex with a sibling, which is illegal for very good reason.

It is something to do with everyone in a civilised society. Of course it is.

I know first cousins who have married, they have perfectly healthy children. It's when lots of families interbreed between lots of cousins that the trouble starts. It's much more common in Asian families.

What does it have to do with others in a civilised society?

You say "of course it is" but what?

Not illegal but should be offered genetic counselling.

My Aunt (Northern European) and her husband married without any idea they were second cousins. Unfortunately they both carried Tay Sachs and their first child was affected and died aged 2 which destroyed them.

Sorry, Cal, I should have clarified. I meant in terms of procreating.

In my opinion and experience yes. My aunt and uncle were first cousins who married and it was fucked up in many ways I don't even want to go into on here.

(not envy)

Oh god I would feel sick if any of my dc married a siblings dc.

They are family, they share a set of grandparents ffs.

Ew. Ew. Ew.

That I would suggest you make your wife a cuppa,tell her to turn off the computer and tell her not to get upset by people who she's never even met expressing an opinion she doesn't agree with. If she's happy there really isn't an issue,is there?

I don't think it should be illegal, but it shouldn't be ignored either. It would appear there is a health issue and that needs to be adressed without accusations of racism flying about.

It is legal and I know TWO sets of first cousins who married. One couple in the 1990's, and one quite recently (2013.) Neither couple have kids. The first couple had several miscarriages sadly, and the second one are only 23 and haven't tried yet as far as I know.

Waaaaaay too close a kin imo. It's no better than uncle and niece or auntie and nephew, or even half siblings.

I grew up with my cousins around.

How could you....

We shared a grandma and grandad, their mum was my aunty. We're family.

Why the fuck would you marry your own family? It's not like there isn't anyone else to choose from.

I assumed it already was illegal. I didn't think anyone would need telling

Of course people are allowed to express their opinions. I have no problem with that. Surely I am allowed to express what I think of those opinions. Man or not.
Or am not allowed to express my own opinion and our feelings because I am a man.
They have relevance to this discussion as we have some personal experience of this.

Not everyone shares a familial relationship with either first cousins or even siblings.

Donor sperm and donor eggs are available - IF the couple want children; not everyone does.

I feel like I'm in a room with thirteen year olds!