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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should it be illegal for 1st cousins to marry?

555 replies

brasty · 06/06/2017 20:38

My DP's parents are 1st cousins, and DP has a genetic illness. Marrying your 1st cousin increases the chances of genetic illness. So I wonder if we should simply make it illegal for 1st cousins to marry? Obviously anyone married would stay so, it would only apply to new marriages.
AIBU?

OP posts:
Waltermittythesequel · 06/06/2017 21:46

Figaro who does it directly affect?

I've seen one poster say she was bullied because of it!

Besides, I explained that I had a close relationship with my cousins so I could not conceivably feel anything other than revulsion!

Rubies12345 · 06/06/2017 21:47

Ohto my friend was forced to marry her first cousin.

Yet her brothers were allowed to marry whoever they wanted.

lalalalyra · 06/06/2017 21:48

It's legal in the UK but illegal to marry a step brother/sister which is of no blood relation.

I don't think that's right. You can marry an adopted sibling (or any relation other than adoptive parent) so I can't see why step-siblings would be illegal.

I was about to say I know step-siblings who are married, but then I realised that they married then her Mum and his Dad married.

TheFreaksShallInheritTheEarth · 06/06/2017 21:49

I'm finding this thread rather bizarre; there was a similar thread about 18 months ago. I was one of the few voices saying I thought it was a bad idea for cousins to have children together and a bit icky and I was beaten up by other posters as they all thought it was OK.... seems people think differently on this thread.

That said, live and let live etc.

greathat · 06/06/2017 21:50

I studied genetics at uni. Was told my genetics lecturer that where I was studying was good for their research as the immigrant population in certain areas had a massive tendency to marry first cousins, so the incidence of genetic disorders was really high. She said this to a lecture theatre full of students and then told us that it was frowned upon to discuss it though

sleeponeday · 06/06/2017 21:51

A one-off cousin marriage gives children with 12.5% genetic material, which is not far off the % of a random match. I didn't know that - thank you for the info. That does rather alter things, if the risks aren't especially increased at all.

VestalVirgin · 06/06/2017 21:52

I don't think it should be illegal, as the risk is not that high when it just happens once in several generations.

However, I think first cousins getting married should have to sit through a lesson on genetics and how they are in a risky situation.

Apparently, lots of the people from cultures where marriages between first cousins are arranged have no idea that it increases the risk of genetic illnesses.

They should know what they are doing there. No one can help falling in love, but if it is an arranged marriage, it can be avoided. (And if the couple knows why their first child is disabled, they might decide against having a second one)

Lanaorana2 · 06/06/2017 21:52

Generations and generations of cousin marriages cause genetic trouble, not one-offs. The bad genes build up, basikerly.

First researched and proven, incidentally, by medics who used Queen Victoria and her grandkids to prove that diseases - in this case, haemophilia - could be genetically transmitted and increased by endless intermarrying. Royals only marry each other, see.

Making the same point is racist if you're talking about exactly the same sort of families and marriage traditions in Pakistan, tho, which I don't really get.

TheFirstMrsDV · 06/06/2017 21:53

Of course its not illegal.
Its very common in some communities.
In the clinic I worked in parents were asked if they were related at initial appointments.
I don't understand why people are so horrified. Not everyone has a 'brother/sister' relationship with their 1st cousin. Lots of people barely know their cousins.

It would be silly to deny it can be problematic though.
If you work in the field of childhood disability/illness you will be aware of the issue.
People get confused and think that cousin marriage causes disability. I think some of that goes back to the stigma and horror around children born of insest and the belief that they were 'marked' by deformity.

A few one off cousin marriages are not the problem. The problem is when communities see cousin marriages as the most desirable and carry the tradition on for generations. The gene pool gets smaller and smaller and the likelihood of genetic conditions higher.

I don't think its disgusting, selfish or grim. I do think its time it was discouraged as a tradition.

CheeseQueen · 06/06/2017 21:53

So many judge mental comments! Sick, grim, urgh. So so offensive as well as ignorant

I used sick and ugh.
Marrying into your own family - sorry but to me that is a form of incest.
Which does give me an "ugh" feeling.
Plus it can cause problems if you want to have children due to the limited genes available.

LumelaMme · 06/06/2017 21:53

A one-off cousin marriage gives children with 12.5% genetic material, which is not far off the % of a random match.
Sorry, that's bollocks. If it wasn't bollocks, there wouldn't be double the rate of genetic illness in children from first cousin marriages than in the population at large.

A lot of people on the thread are saying that first cousin marriage was very common in the UK in the past. I'd like to see some stats for that. I've taken my family tree back a long way, in deepest darkest rural England, and never come across a first cousin marriage.

lalalalyra · 06/06/2017 21:54

I don't think it should be illegal as there are situations where 1st cousins are not biologically related. There are four of us adopted amongst my cousins and there would be no reason we shouldn't be able to marry one of our other cousins if we were so inclined

The law already differentiates between adopted people and relatives though. Someone adopted can marry a sibling, either another adopted child or the biological child of their adoptive parents. There would be no legal bar to adopted cousins marrying.

Dingalingalingaling · 06/06/2017 21:56

A 1st cousin is the closest relative you can marry. Years ago before people travelled, everyone in a village would be related, and you had to marry someone!

scrivette · 06/06/2017 21:57

As PP have said, it's generations of cousins marrying that causes the issues.

If DH and I had a child with a hereditary disease because of the combination of our genes, should it be illegal for us to have more children?

Interestingly, in my family history we have 2 brothers marrying 2 sisters and the cousins of them marrying. The resulting child couldn't have children and the doctors wondered if it was due to the closeness of their genes.

Dingalingalingaling · 06/06/2017 21:58

recently published data from London borough of Redbridge shows health consequences of such unions
Probably caused by an extremely small gene pool and arranged marriages with years of inbreeding.

ChampagneSocialist1 · 06/06/2017 21:58

Report says 1 in 5 child deaths in Redbridge borough caused by parents being close relatives

sleeponeday · 06/06/2017 22:02

I don't think that's right. You can marry an adopted sibling (or any relation other than adoptive parent) so I can't see why step-siblings would be illegal.

Yeah, I thought it was any step-relatives who shared a home when one was a kid, but I can only find statute on step-parent, which makes sense, so I am wrong.

The odd one is adoption - usually it breaks all existing ties and creates new ones, yet you can marry an adoptive sibling. Not parent, but you can sibling. It's interesting and I'm not sure how I feel about that, especially as adopted kids tend to be very vulnerable, and there can be sizeable age gaps. Then again it's not any of my business!

ChampagneSocialist1 · 06/06/2017 22:03

I think if marrying a 1st cousin only happens occasionally then probably wouldn't cause too many health problems but when it's very common and you have several generations where marry 1st cousins is the norm then the health problems will multiple very quickly as gene pools become very small

Lanaorana2 · 06/06/2017 22:03

Exactly - marrying nearest and dearest used to be practically inevitable. Either you never moved from the village (poor) or were middle class or above (keeping money in the family).

Equally inevitable was most of your children dying of something else early on so no one noticed the link. It was only when rich couples' children started making it to adulthood - see Queen Vic - that patterns became impossible to ignore.

Adultery is a cracker for regularising gene pools, however. A lot of women have dodged a bullet over centuries with the milkman, for which we should all be grateful.

LarrytheCucumber · 06/06/2017 22:04

I saw a documentary a while ago about a community in Peterborough where arranged marriages among first cousins was common and there was as disproportionately high number of children with disabilities.
It was explained to them that their children were disabled because of cousin marriages but some of them refused to believe it.

Calyrical · 06/06/2017 22:05

It doesn't bother me. Nor does someone marrying a sibling bother me. Genetic counselling is available before having children if needs be.

TurquoiseDress · 06/06/2017 22:05

YANBU

As far as I know it's not illegal in the UK

I remember a girl at school (Caucasian) and she was v open about her parents being first cousins.

I found it a bit weird, even then.
She seemed pretty normal, despite v short but that's not uncommon I suppose.

AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered · 06/06/2017 22:06

Honestly the 'ick' reaction is entirely natural - Mother Nature trying to prevent recessive genes being passed on. I'm sorry people are upset by posters expressing revulsion, but it really is a natural reaction.

Calyrical · 06/06/2017 22:06

Depends on how well you know your cousins, Hedgehog