Should it be illegal for 1st cousins to marry?

[brasty]

My DP's parents are 1st cousins, and DP has a genetic illness. Marrying your 1st cousin increases the chances of genetic illness. So I wonder if we should simply make it illegal for 1st cousins to marry? Obviously anyone married would stay so, it would only apply to new marriages.
AIBU?

brasty well that certainly holds up to the study you read then

It should be very strongly discouraged if not illegal.
The 'cultural' reasons behind it are to do with keeping wealth in the family which means people, especially women, have very little free choice. It does not necessarily have to be opressive, but often is.

There is absolutely no point banning 1st cousins from marrying if it is being justified on grounds of preventing babies with genetic conditions bring conceived. you may not have noticed but these days LOADS of babies are conceived by people who are not married. So if that's the motivation you would have to ban 1st cousins from having sex. Except generally we believe that what consenting adults do in private is not the state's concern.

I think the status-quo is fine. No legal bar but if a child is conceived by parents who are related there are screening services available.

My second cousin (cousin's son) has married his first cousin and had children, from what I heard all was well.
I don't know them personally, have met cousin once or twice.

When I had DD in Blackburn with a disability the Drs openly said to us oh we see birth defects all the time you know in our community just not usually with people like you (white) At our genetics apt at the same hospital there was an interpreter automatically in the room.

It needs to be something spoken about openly so people are fully aware of the risks.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4480618/Daughter-tackles-ethnic-taboo-costs-NHS-millions.html

My cousins are my half cousins our mothers are sisters with different dads but the same mother.

My cousins and me look like siblings.

Cousins having sex is incest and probably very narcissistic too as you're having sex with someone who looks like you.

As far as repulsion goes, the very idea of anal sex has always freaked me out - but loads of people love it, I wouldn't want it outlawed for a second. Similarity with your ick feelings, maybe?

How on earth is that even a viable comparison?!
It's got nothing to do with marrying your own family.

They'll never be able to make it illegal because of the race card. Because certain cultures wouldn't accept it as a law of the land, just as they don't accept our laws and operate their own 'courts'
My friend as a trainee doctor in her first year came across several hermaphrodites and they were all of a similar cultural background 😔

Or am not allowed to express my own opinion and our feelings because I am a man.

Course you're allowed to express your opinion on here if you're a man - I'm usually the one pointing out the double standards on here sometimes between when a man and a woman posts and what the reaction would have been to the OP.
In this thread though, you're likely to get opinions you don't like. If you're happy with marrying into family, then that's up to you.
Don't be too surprised or upset if there's differing opinions out there though.

But if you haven't grown up with your cousins, you won't.You do know not all families are the same!

I'm trying to imagine myself marrying my male cousin. We didn't see each other much growing up. Only very occasionally.
The thought of marrying him though is totally stomach churning even though he is good looking.
You just wouldn't go there. It's like marrying a brother.

I wonder if the rates of cousins marrying cousins within high risk communities is decreasing given all the publicity and related health campaigns?

I don't think it can be made illegal but surely it should be discouraged. The reasons for marrying within a family are outdated and irrelevant nowadays.

That's quite confusing TheEagle - surely half of the people you can't marry due to relationship by marriage can't be married because they're already married e.g. your father or mother's spouse - your step parent?! They'd have to get divorced first, then wouldn't be your step parent any more?? I may be over thinking this and should probably be asleep!

Typical - prejudice and racism against disguised as 'concern'

What about the children born to addicts who are left with lifelong genetic abnormalities and learning disabilities as a result of their parents choices?

Or those born to older mothers?

Or those born to people with Down's Syndrome?

Or those born to people with mental health problems (seeing as there is often have a genetic link?)

couldn'tmakethisshitup you know more than one thing can happen at the same time, right?
We can be concerned about all of those things, and the health implications of cousins having children.

Try being Hindu. Both my gran and my mil had to write up a family tree going back 8 generations before dh and I could marry. Even though we were different castes as a precautionary measure. My DB and sil only just managed the cut (related 9-10 generations ago).

I think not all first cousin marriages are a problem. (It's not for me, however.) It becomes an issue when cousins have been marrying cousins generation in and out. Then, it starts to create a genetic minefield.

Just because it is cultural, doesn't make it right or impervious to criticism. Particularly when you are imposing the costs of cosaguinity onto your potential children or the wider community, in terms of resources, life limiting illness etc.

Education is the key rather than making it illegal imo. It's difficult but not impossible to change attitudes .

I know a couple who are married with two children who are first cousins. Their first child was born with a genetic condition. Their 2nd was born with a more extreme level of the same condition, basically he'll never be able to care for himself.
They were advised after their first that it had a 95% chance of happening again with more children.

There is a slight increase in risk for genetic issues, but given the availability of testing, genetic counselling and fertility intervention I think there is far less cause for a legal remedy than there ever has been. The law should only step in when there is significant harm to society. There is no need for a legal remedy here.

Thanks, Call, for putting words in my mouth. I said I would not like to do it myself. I did not say it should be illegal.

Caly , autocorrect

Of course there are going to be people who say facts are racist

Cousins having sex is incest and probably very narcissistic too as you're having sex with someone who looks like you

Rubbish, lots of cousins look nothing like one another. I don't think you'd recognise that I was related to any of mine except one and only because we have very similar eyes.

And they may not know each other either. I only met one of my cousins when I was 18, and indeed one of my other cousins in my 30s.

That specifically relate to children, lady

However the thread title says "should it be illegal for first cousins to marry?"

Now, the reason we do not feel any sexual attraction towards siblings we have grown up with and by default to cousins is to do with a genetic predisposition if you like - it protects us against incest. People who have grown up with cousins may well view them the same.

But it is not the case for everybody. Studies have estimated that one in five children live with a man who they believe is their father who is not. If you think about it, assuming everyone stays local, there is a strong chance of the siblings meeting and beginning a relationship.

I would not personally recognise my two cousins if I walked past them in the street.

Furthermore, marriage doesn't equate to children. Banning a legal union between siblings and cousins won't stop children being born to them.

If your real, genuine concern is for the children and not a visceral shudder of revulsion because you know your cousins well, so for anybody to subsequently meet and love a cousin in later life is wrong, wrong, wrong, if the worry is really about the children then rather than driving it underground with ban, ban, ban, it seems to me to be far more sensible and ultimately productive for the children born to such a union to legalise it but make it clear upon marriage that any wanted children should not be conceived prior to genetic counselling and consideration of using a sperm or egg donor (which also brings out the fervent 'well I would but what if in eighteen years time there's a knock on the door'/ what if you meet your brother or sister, ew ew ew') brigade out.

Facts can be racist when only certain facts elicit gasps of horror and shudders of revulsion where other equally unpalatable facts are either ignored or treated sympathetically.