To ask people to move seats at the theatre

[Homemoans]

My 6-year son really wants to see a play of one of David Walliams on Saturday, the only seats they have left are on the front row but they are 5 seats apart. WIBU to buy the two tickets and ask the 5 people sat in between us to either move up or move down?

You can ask but they might be nice and say yes but I wouldn't move for you. 1, because I think it's rude and 2, Iv booked chosen and paid for the seats I'm sitting in. If I had wanted to be up or down one I would have picked those ones.
Haha having to laugh before I'm rude because Iv never looked at a seating plan and thought they don't have what I need but if I just asked them to move...

IMO you can't ask people to move seats. I would try to find another show. I would want to know that everything was sorted in advance.

You're welcome, expat

Coming home from work tonight I put my bags on the seat next to me and read my book. A couple got on and the man said ostentatiously to his beloved: 'There's a seat. Sit there.' While I just moved my stuff onto my lap without acknowledging them she said: 'There are two seats together over there.' He insisted that she sat next to me while he gallantly stood. What a fucking tool.

You'd hate me then. I regularly ask people to shift their bags off EMPTY PRIORITY seats. I once asked someone to shift her jacket off an empty front seat too, yea there were sears at the back but I was in agony and I'm not going to out myself through more pain just so Joan from the front can give her jacket /bag a nice comfy seat.

Also pissed someone off on the train last year when out with friends, my back locked and I had to sit down there ans then. I stayed in that position for the sixty minute journey with the offended man glaring at me for daring to have the audacity before my friend had to help me out the seat and off the train.

Not really sure such instances can be compared with someone who wants to inconvenience others because they didn't book in time.several posters have given several scenarios as to why moving one seat isn't THAT big a deal, actually really is to some.

Just ask. But be prepared for people to tell you no. They don't have to tell you why.

An old adage of Mumsnet in regards and advice re assertiveness is "No, is a complete sentence".

Telling someone no you can't, is not rude. Expecting people to shift for you is.

*seats not sears.

I would happily move if asked. But I don't think I'd bank on assuming that others would be quite so accommodating, and I certainly wouldn't presume.
On one occasion we actually arrived at a theatre, to find a family had already assumed it was ok to do just what you have described. They had seats apart either side of our 4, and basically shifted us down a couple.
I was irked, particularly as it caused a lot of confusion initially, and they had the gall to pretend they didn't know! Needless to say, we let them sit there anyway...just wasn't worth ruining a family outing over.

I wouldn't hate you AwaywiththePixies27. I'd say: 'Oh yes, of course'. That's if I didn't notice you first and move my bag for you without being asked.

The reason why I mentioned it was because so many people on this thread seem to think it's an affront to either ask someone to do something or to have to ask.

As you've said, just ask, but be prepared for people to say no. Obviously it would be unreasonable to refuse to move your bag from the seat and I'm not an unreasonable person.

I have read the whole thread but guess which national "newspaper" is featuring this as a story today?

Sorry "haven't read the whole thread.

Thankyou limitedperiodonly I'm my own worst enemy half the time. Refuse to get a walking stick etc which I know will help me.

Louise don't tell me! Bet it's The Telegraph!

The reason why I mentioned it was because so many people on this thread seem to think it's an affront to either ask someone to do something or to have to ask

You should have the good manners to move your bags when you see the carriage filling up. It is incredibly rude to think people should have to ask you.

YANBU to ask people to shuffle up a seat but YABU to buy tickets with the expectation that they will.

I can't believe people are so mean. I think it would be fine to ask, like people say, as long as it doesn't restrict anyone's view or anything. It's only one seat across for god's sake. But yes OP, if people refuse you must just take it on the chin

It's only one seat across for god's sake.

Please RTFT. It's been explained by several posters whilst it's not only one seat.

It's not hard to avoid this scenario. Just book in plenty of time like most people.

How would those people who dont want their seat moved because they booked that particular seat, react to upgrading.
Went to çollosium last month , the upgraded us from balcony to dress circle. They actually closed the balcont. Went went from £15 seats to £110 seats. Wonder if they would turn those down

Yes Bruffin people do. I've done seat reallocation when a floors been shut. I remember one family were determined to sit in the cheap seats they had booked and wouldn't move to the much more expensive stalls.

So the floor had to be kept open just for that one family with one member of staff to supervise.

The reason the family insisted was because their deaf child found that the best place to sit for lip reading.

Went to çollosium last month , the upgraded us from balcony to dress circle. They actually closed the balcont. Went went from £15 seats to £110 seats. Wonder if they would turn those down

bruffin I still wouldn't move. It's not about bring given the better seats if upgraded to us, it's about can I still hear everything, see everything, am I still near the exit in case DS kicks off and I dont want him having a very public meltdown in the middle of someone's big piece. A hell of a lot of planning goes into outings like this with many autistic children. DS knows we're going on Tuesday, at x time, will be sitting here, y and reinforcing the rules about using inside voices, no screen time for five minutes etc etc. Suddenly telling him we're going somewhere else carries the high possibility of it all turning to shit. I know this from bitter efoeriencr when we went to visit an arts display (kids one - DD had been invited for her hard work and it was a family thing). He couldn't handle it and we spent the rest of the evening walking around the lake outside because we couldn't go back in.

Plus I once was upgraded when me and Ex were together and on a date at the arena. The view and experience was shit, and so was the ridiculously overpriced ice cream.

*experience not efoeriencr. Stupid phone.

Depends Bruffin. I'd have a look at the seat and see if DP could fit in it. There aren't many seats with enough leg room for him. That's our primary concern - not making sure other people aren't sat separated from their children. That should be their own priority when booking seats.

AwaywiththePixies27 I have a brain tumour - a benign one , though it's not being very kind to me .

A few years ago I needed to use a stick. I've become much more stable now but often lurch about as if I am drunk which is a bit embarrassing. I think it might be a good idea for you to use a stick because people are a bit more careful - not all of them but it's better than nothing.

I always use handrails on staircases and walk down the escalators - annoyingly slowly - and can stand on the tube if I can lean or hold on but would prefer to sit. If there are no seats I don't ask because I can lean.

I am guilty of the appalling sin of putting my bags on the seat next to me but will always move them if asked. I don't think it's necessary to constantly monitor the occupation of the carriage as Lass thinks I should. I read my book and don't tend to scan the horizon like a nervous meerkat until it's my stop. I expect people to be a bit pro-active.

If someone makes a reasonable request, I will be reasonable back. Meaning I'll move my bags with alacirity. If they asked me vacate the seat I'd decline. No one has ever done that.

I always wear flat shoes these days I used to skip around in Alexander McQueen's like these

I don't think it's necessary to constantly monitor the occupation of the carriage as Lass thinks I should. I read my book and don't tend to scan the horizon like a nervous meerkat until it's my stop. I expect people to be a bit pro-active

Oh what utter self serving nonsense. How completely selfish. "Scan the horizon" - you are on a bus or a train - how can you possibly not notice it is filling up?

If someone makes a reasonable request, I will be reasonable back

Why should someone have to ask you to move your bag? Do you then judge if it was reasonable enough and refuse if it doesn't meet your criteria?

Why should the other fare paying passengers be the ones who have to be proactive rather than selfish people like you who think their bags entitled to the seat?

It is so ill mannered - you should move your bag without having to be asked.

Oh don't talk wet Lass. I'm saying that I sometimes might not notice, not that I never do or have ever refused to move my things if asked.

Speak up, You don't seem to have any problems here so I guess you wouldn't be any different if you met me on the train.

Speak up, You don't seem to have any problems here so I guess you wouldn't be any different if you met me on the train

Oh I have no problem making selfish people like you move their bags.

But why should any one have to speak up ? What makes your bag so special that some one has to ask you to move it ?

Are you really so selfish and self important that you think you don't have to move your bag unless someone asks?

Yes.

As I said, if I noticed you, I would move my bag without being asked. If I was engrossed in my book, as I was the other day, you would have to ask me and I would say: 'Oh sorry. I didn't see you. Of course.' How is that selfish or self-important?

I am not going to pile all my things on my lap or on the dirty floor if there are free seats on the off chance that someone is either too self-important or timid to say: 'Excuse me. I would like to sit there'.

That's what most people do.