To ask people to move seats at the theatre

[Homemoans]

My 6-year son really wants to see a play of one of David Walliams on Saturday, the only seats they have left are on the front row but they are 5 seats apart. WIBU to buy the two tickets and ask the 5 people sat in between us to either move up or move down?

Why are people surprised that theatres allow single seats?

There's no problem about purchasing a single seat if you only want one ticket. IME they just don't like people to book a number of seats on a row, leaving a single seat between groups. Towards the end, when not many seats are left there is sometimes no option so it is allowed. Single seats often get left empty because people mostly go to the theatre in pairs or more, and if sitting together is paramount, then those people would obviously not buy the few isolated seats that are left. (Apart from those who have the brass neck to think they can breeze in and reorganise the whole shebang)

My DD and me have, on occasion, got last minute tickets and had to take the fill in seats, and sit separately. There's no doubt that it would have been more enjoyable to sit together - it makes it more of a shared experience. But, hey. You can't always get what you want.
Went to see Eddie Izzard years ago sitting 15 (ish) seats away and two rows back from my 15 year old DD. She ended up with a crick in her neck. The memories still have their charm.

I digress. I sometimes go to the theatre alone as well. So I'm always pleasantly surprised to see a solo seat available in the auditorium. As also, I'm sure, the theatre manager is pleased to have filled another isolated and last minute seat.

And finally. This.

Not theatre etiquette at all I'm afraid and I wouldn't be surprised if the patrons who had booked the seats early enough complained to and you were escorted out from the theatre. It's as bad as using your mobile or talking during the performance

Sounds reasonable to me.

It's not unreasonable, but you must be prepared for a refusal and not make a fuss. So check that the boy would consider it an adventure rather than a frightening disaster to be sitting 5 seats away from you. If not, don't go.

With it being a light-hearted family-friendly type of show, and in a nice friendly sort of city, there's a decent chance that others on the row won't be the type to appreciate what a terribly gross breach of thee-ATTER etiquette it is to politely ask whether people won't mind shuffling along one seat, so they might just give a straightforward yay or nay and then forget all about it.

@LadyinCement Wed 07-Jun-17 10:58:41

Well, I posted a lot of pages back about the chancer who asked at Fleetwood Mac at the O2 if either dh or I would move about 50 seats back so her fiance could come and sit with her shock . It was such an outrageous request that we were struggling to comprehend at first what she was asking. Obviously the romance of being engaged trumps the need of a boring middle-aged couple to sit together (even one who had booked their tickets 6 months earlier).

The obvious answer to that - which is the one I have always given if being asked something similar - is that the fiancée needs to invite either of the people sitting next to her fiancé 50 rows back if they would care to move 50 rows forward to enable her to sit with her belovéd: that way the person moving gets a better spot as a reward for being obliging.... And if Little Miss would rather sit 50 rows forward than sit next to her fiancé at the back..... well that just proves how unreasonable she was being in the first place.

My DS used to suffer with health problems including quite severe anxiety so we always booked seats at the end of a row and near an exit. It would have been really awkward and embarrassing for DS if someone asked us to move.

In this particular scenario I can't imagine why anyone wouldn't accommodate moving along one chair. Seems pretty miserable not to. Out if the 5 people surely one of them would be happy to swap.

Have not RTFT because it is too full of cross people saying No

You should absolutely ask but as some have said you have to be prepared for them to say no. If they move into the centre they're (probably) not disadvantaged. Should be fine but you can't guarantee. I would probably book it.

The suggestion of phoning theatre and asking please please for house seats might be worth a go.

Have read the update OP. Hope you get Sun tickets.

I too failed to book ahead for Gangsta G & last minute got fairly pants seats high up which annoyingly cost the same as all the good seats. Still enjoyed the show though.

DS would likely have a meltdown if asked to move even one seat

While I sympathise with your situation expatinscotland it isn't the experience of most people. Most of us are able to rub along. However, if anythiing is a problem for you or your child it can be dealt with by the magic words: 'I'd like to help you but I am afraid I cannot.'

I went to the pictures on Monday night. Just me. I spotted two free seats second and third in from the aisle and asked if they were free. I got a lecture from a girl who said one was definitely taken by someone who was in the loo and she was saving the other one for another friend who was definitely going to arrive. No booking so I sat down. She wasn't happy but I ignored her. Her friend came in from the loo just as the film started and they left about 30 minutes later. The other friend never turned up. Some people love territorial pissings

I can't believe this thread. It would require people moving ONE single seat along. How on earth is that a big deal 🤦🏻‍♀️ 'Theatre etiquette' does indeed require people to sit in the seat they booked and paid for but thus is a matter of moving ONE single seat along. It's nothing.

There are plenty of posters on this thread who say that their anxiety would make this difficult for them and I have to admit I didn't realise that moving one seat along could be so distressing for people but I still think if you ask really politely in a way where it's clear that you don't mind at all if they don't wish to move and that you are aware you are asking a tiny HUGE favour of them then I can't see a problem

It's ONE seat .....

I have worked in theatre industry for twenty years and used to go 4x a week for work - sometimes by myself and sometimes with others. I also take my daughter (age 7) a lot.

I've never been asked to swop seats seeing a "grown up" evening show, and it would be an unusual request. However, if I was being offered a better seat I wouldn't have minded swopping.

Last Christmas I took my DD to see a show and we couldn't book together (similar to your situation). TBH I didnt think beforehand of asking anyone to move, just that she'd sit a few seats away. I thought that, at 6 and a half, she was old enough to cope. As it turned out there was a family of four in between us and they seemed approachable, so I asked if they wouldn't mind shifting towards the centre and they were very kind and did that for us.

I agree with other posters - asking people to move in towards the middle is definitely the only way to do it, and you will have to take your chances! My guess is at a kids show audiences might be more amenable to this. But bear in mind there might be a couple of groups between you and your child (a pair and a three for instance) - so you'd need to get both to agree.

If the thought of asking (or a negative response) really worries you, or if you think your child might be anxious sitting alone, then I would take another poster's advice and book seats one behind the other. Sit your son in front and you can give him the occasional reassuring pat on the shoulder from where you are! (Also the view will be better further back)

Chances are he will feel very grown up having his own seat in either case! Hope you get to go...

Also - in case it's not clear from the above - I am very picky about where I sit, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't swop for a better seat (or even a seat that was no worse) if I was asked nicely!

From this thread I get the impression that some people think a trip to the theatre is rather like going to see a school play...

Exactly, it's easy to see that many posters here aren't hugely familiar with theatre-going and etiquette.

@southeastdweller

Wow, what an insufferable snob you are. I go to the theatre once a month, to comedy plays, musicals, dramas, ballets, and operas, and I used to work in the theatre. I go to theatres in London, and many other cities and towns, as well as my own. I can tell you that you are mixing with very stuck-up, faux-middle-class snobs if you think everyone who goes to the theatre would gasp and recoil in horror and disgust if asked to move up a seat to enable a small child to sit next to his mother.

Most people (decent, kind people,) would move one seat along in a heartbeat to allow a small child to sit next to their mother as long as their view wasn't being obscured.

'OH. MY. GODDDD! Eugenie! You're not going to believe what that bloody awful woman just asked me! She asked if I could move along a seat so she can sit next to her bloody horrible child. Oh the nerve! I have never heard anything like it!!! Go get daddy now! I am proper cross.'

What a load of bollocks.

This thread has reminded me of another MN fave that gets knickers in a knot - bags on train seats.

Coming home from work tonight I put my bags on the seat next to me and read my book. A couple got on and the man said ostentatiously to his beloved: 'There's a seat. Sit there.' While I just moved my stuff onto my lap without acknowledging them she said: 'There are two seats together over there.' He insisted that she sat next to me while he gallantly stood. What a fucking tool. I was getting off in two stops but I was seriously thinking about going to the end of the line just to make him stand.

Coming home from work tonight I put my bags on the seat next to me and read my book. A couple got on and the man said ostentatiously to his beloved: 'There's a seat. Sit there

Oh dear, were your fare paying bags denied a seat? It is utterly selfish to place bags on seats. As soon as the coach fills up you should move them without being asked.

So far as this nonsensical thread if I were there with my husband or my grown up son one of us would probably offer without being asked. If I were there with a small child I certainly would not move.

limitedperiod

What a stupid thing to say. You have no idea of her state of health. My dh would have done exactly the same for me if I were unwell. Seeing as I'm chronically ill, this happens a lot.

Mummy - limited does say that the woman herself pointed out two free seats but the man insisted in the one limited's bags were iccuoying, just to make a point.

Limited - I wonder what he'd have done if you hadn't heard him, any pointedness would have gone to waste.

*occupying

*presumabky just to make a point. What could be the reason otherwise if the woman herself had pointed other free seats?

Wow, what an insufferable snob you are. I go to the theatre once a month, to comedy plays, musicals, dramas, ballets, and operas, and I used to work in the theatre. I go to theatres in London, and many other cities and towns, as well as my own.

So do I. I worked in the west end, hence my posts that it's not just view that changes but prices - sometimes 3 different rates for one row. I don't mind being called a snob at all, it is somewhat true. But I have never ever in 35 years, been asked to swap seats. It's presumptuous.

I haven't either, not in London and not in New York. You just don't do it. And as for people here advising the OP to contact the theatre after she's booked the single seats to see what they can do...

I'm in Glasgow and I'm trying to imagine a scenario in which a family WOULDN'T get pelted with a handbag while being told to, "move doon for the wee 'yin!"

I'd move in a heartbeat for you's OP. But I guess it just depends.

'While I sympathise with your situation expatinscotland it isn't the experience of most people. Most of us are able to rub along. However, if anythiing is a problem for you or your child it can be dealt with by the magic words: 'I'd like to help you but I am afraid I cannot.''

No shit, limited! Wow, I'd never have thought of replying like that myself! You know, I needed someone with your superior intellect to spell that out to me. And I simply had NO idea that people who don't have autism often behave differently from those who do, 'rub along' as you call it. Silly me! Thank you for stepping down out of your ivory tower to educate all us ignorant, intellectually inferior people .

From the OP
I guess this post shows not everyone else feels it's nice to be nice in life

Wow, that's rude. Especially when you expect others to do you a favour.