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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what are the best things about having a little boy?

353 replies

KeplerYellow · 06/06/2017 14:51

I'm almost 30 weeks pregnant and really excited to be having a boy. I am however getting a bit scared about the whole giving birth part, so trying to focus on the bigger picture. I would love to hear how great it is to have a son to help me concentrate on the positives.

OP posts:
Juanca · 08/06/2017 15:02

Children are NOT flirting with you! Flirting is an adult concept and behaviour that demonstrates you're sexually attracted to someone. Why do we have to ascribe adult behaviour to children? Just let them be children!

If that means I don't have a sense of humour I'm perfectly cool with that.

shineon · 08/06/2017 15:05

I have 3 boys & I love having boys. Ive always been scared of having girls mainly due to what a nightmare teenager I was. So was delighted with my boys. They are very affectionate & love hugs. Yes they are super high energy but they are straight up no drama, what you see is what you get.

bigbuttons · 08/06/2017 15:05

Also, I have 3 of each. That does not take me qualified to tell anyone about boys, or girls for that matter. Each son and daughter is completely different to the other. The only thing the boys have in common is that they each have a penis.

Cutesbabasmummy · 08/06/2017 15:05

NoLoveofMine no, we don't push him in any direction. I had scalatrix and a lightsaber when I was little! I have just bought him a doll to take on holiday with us and his favourite colour is pink! I might try him with ballet lessons too. I don't care what he turns out like as long as he is happy, healthy and loved [smile}

Bumpsadaisie · 08/06/2017 15:15

Juanca, with respect, I think things may be a bit more complex than that. Read up on psychosexual development.

It IS part of childhood to have these kinds of feelings, and to grow out of them prior to adolescence. No, they are not 'sexual feelings' in the adult sense, and I am not saying that my son 'flirts' with me in the way that an adult man would.

Apachepony · 08/06/2017 15:30

The question is "what are the best things about having little boys?" Maternal subjectivity is pretty much required to answer the question! Can there be an objective answer? "Coherent arguments" are not really the point of the thread..

Apachepony · 08/06/2017 15:33

Unless the answer is "there are objectively no best things about little boys. I command you to lose all joy and pride in your little boys". Objectively speaking there's no best things about any children, objectively it's madness to incur the energy in raising offspring unless you're very invested in passing on your genes. But that's a very joyless answer!

bigbuttons · 08/06/2017 15:39

No, the argument should be " you cannot talk about boys as if they have qualities which are different to those possessed by girls"

The OP wants to know how great it is to have a son, this is a ridiculous an narrow-minded question

bigbuttons · 08/06/2017 15:40

Maternal subjectivity also presents opinion as facts

Apachepony · 08/06/2017 15:42

It's ridiculous to know how great it is to have a son?! Why?! Would it be ridiculous to ask what are the great things about having children? Objectively speaking having children is not always great and indeed research is showing that non-parents are generally happier than parents. But should I go on all such threads where parents are giving there subjective opinions to give the objective position?

Apachepony · 08/06/2017 15:43

Their opinions rather than there obviously...

bigbuttons · 08/06/2017 15:45

The point is that it is ridiculous to ask what is great abut having sons because that assumes sons possess qualities that daughters don't. However, to ask what is great about having children is entirely acceptable.
It's not difficult.

Apachepony · 08/06/2017 15:49

I think you'll find people make a lot of assumptions that daughters are better than sons, so a one-off thread to discuss sons is hardly so terrible that it must be completely side tracked. Surely a thread about what is so great about children risks discriminating against the childless?

Apachepony · 08/06/2017 15:51

Also a thread about what is so great about children is going to be soaked through with maternal subjectivity which I thought was one of the problems here.

Juanca · 08/06/2017 15:51

Bumps I would like to read more if you can point me in the right direction. Unless you're talking about Freud, of course, who I'm familiar with and I think we can safely disregard.

If it's not flirting with a means to sexual attraction, why not call it something else? Saying your child is flirting sounds one step away from calling him "my sexy little man". My children tease me and hug me and it's affectionate, but NEVER anything close to what I would say "flirting" is.

greedygorb · 08/06/2017 15:54

When they're 8 they'll go round shouting 'Testicles' to get a laugh. And you'll laugh (well you will if you'e like me).

nicknamehelp · 08/06/2017 16:01

They are cheecky and naughty but you forgive them as soon as they smile at you.

You will always be the one lady they truly love.

Easier to buy clothes for than girls.

Dandandandandandandan · 08/06/2017 16:03

Big buttons - if this thread were about someone only wanting a boy/girl, or putting down one over the other, you would have a great point.

The poor OP is just excited about having her first baby after 5 years of trying. Come on, give her a bloody break!!

Juanca · 08/06/2017 16:16

You don't think this is putting down girls, Dandan?

"boys give you 10 times more affection, 10 times less drama and not an ounce of manipulation in sight!"

"I hate to stereotype but there was always a lot of bitching/arguing and gossiping, between me and my sisters and cousins, my mum and her sisters, me and my sisters with our mum and so on."

"I found girls quite needy & full of drama"

This is actually really harmful to girls trying to thresh out their identities as they grow. I have a girl, and she's been called in turn a "tomboy" and a "drama queen", and yes, a "flirt" (which is why my back is up about the "flirting" comments). She is absorbing all of these stereotypes - despite my efforts and it's so fucking depressing to see. People are so keen to prescribe a reason for any quirk of their character to their sex.

bigbuttons · 08/06/2017 16:16

I disagree; the op asked specifically about boys.
I don't give a fig about perfectly natural maternal subjectivity. I have it myself, but I don't use it as an excuse to put someone else down or make ridiculous statements and present them as facts.

bigbuttons · 08/06/2017 16:19

Seems I have a great point then. It's not really a great poin thought, it's just the truth.

Dandandandandandandan · 08/06/2017 16:44

I don't disagree. I just think it's probably pissed all over the chips of someone who was just happy and excited after many years of trying to conceive :(. And I think that's a bit harsh. Lots of opportunity to point that out on a new thread to raise awareness etc.

bigbuttons · 08/06/2017 16:47

I hope it hasn't pissed on her chips. I do hope though that is has given her reason to think about gender stereotypes.

Steph999999 · 08/06/2017 16:55

My little boy is 8 months and already thinks farting is hilarious, especially when he's in the bath. Him laughing makes me laugh.

I thought I would have a girl but was so chuffed when I found out it was a boy.

NoLoveofMine · 08/06/2017 16:57

Thank you very much bigbuttons. Your support was lovely for me to read and I concur with your excellent posts!

The OP seems lovely and actually said in one of her replies something along the lines of children are great no matter their sex and all have their own charms. The messages from some others using boys to put down and deride girls were just very disheartening.