Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to not let my ds go to his first job in oxford street

63 replies

user1484615313 · 05/06/2017 00:34

Ds (16) got a job in a well known high street shop for the first time. He was over the moon but I'm a nervous wreck about him traveling ATM. His first day is tomorrow and we live in the Richmond upon Thames borough. So a long travel too. Aibu?

OP posts:
RainbowJack · 05/06/2017 00:40

How long would you like to stop him travelling? Indefinitely?

Of course YABU. It's understandable, but still unreasonable.

Can you ask him to call/text you throughout the journey if it helps your anxiety?

noeffingidea · 05/06/2017 00:41

Yes, you are. Sorry, I know it's a worry but working is very important for teenagers. It helps them become independent and mature and is important for their social development.
I have a 20 year old, last year he was at uni in Westminster, he decided for himself he was going to carry on as normal and that was the day after the Paris attacks.
If he wants to do it then I think you have to allow him to. That's the hard part of being a parent.
And well done to him on landing a job. I know it's not that easy nowadays.

CondensedMilkSarnies · 05/06/2017 00:42

I can understand your anxiety but if everyone who worked in London or a large city did this everything would grind to a halt.

HarrietKettleWasHere · 05/06/2017 00:46

Yes of course you have to let him go. Don't send him off with him worrying about you in turmoil and wringing your hands over it at home either, it's his first day and he should be free to look forward to and focus on his new job.

Redglitter · 05/06/2017 00:46

You're definitely BU

Do you really want him to lose his job just because you're anxious. He's more at risk crossing the road or travelling in a car.

Getting him to keep you updated is a good idea but you do need to let him go

Original poster
user1484615313 · 05/06/2017 00:46

He really does want to do it and he's usually a really cautious boy.

OP posts:
HarrietKettleWasHere · 05/06/2017 00:47

I wonder why he's usually cautious...

LadySalmakia · 05/06/2017 00:47

Yes. It's worrying, I know, but that sounds like a great job for him and it'll help him long term.

I don't want to belittle your worry, I would too. But you can't stop doing normal life things because if this. I work in an area that's at a similar level of worry - I can't just not work because of this and neither should he.

ShoesHaveSouls · 05/06/2017 00:48

Hi OP. My DH works in London and regularly buys his lunch in Borough Market. He's going in tomorrow.

Half my family live and work in London.

My son will be doing work experience in central London soon.

I'm scared too, but you can't just not 'do' everyday life because of these nutters.

AndNowItIsSeven · 05/06/2017 00:48

Of course he should go,why wouldn't he?

jellyshoeswithdiamonds · 05/06/2017 00:50

Richmond to Oxford St? A hard commute, really???

Having a OH and DD who commute over 3.5hra and 1hr each way, Richmond to Oxford st is a doddly out of rush hour.

klippityklock · 05/06/2017 00:52

Yabu but I understand
I'm a kid of the NI troubles. If my parents had stopped me leaving the house for fear of a terror attack I would have spent my life in my bedroom.

BrianCantsPants · 05/06/2017 00:57

My OH was on London Bridge on Friday afternoon, in the traffic jam.

He's going to work tomorrow.

London will be security-mad for the next few weeks.
I would say we have to carry on, otherwise as a PP said, everything will grind to a halt.

Original poster
user1484615313 · 05/06/2017 01:11

Thank you.
I will have to try and get over this. I'm hoping and praying this is the last of these nut cases and London is safe again.

OP posts:
LadySalmakia · 05/06/2017 01:15

It's horrible. Awful. There's no way to sugar coat it. But you're right - you have to just find a way to get over it.

I hope you can find a way to concentrate on the concrete, real good it'll do for your son and not the extremely unlikely potential negatives.

Dandandandandandandan · 05/06/2017 06:49

OP - he'll be one of about 8,000,000 people. he'll be one of thousands on Oxford street alone. The odds of anything happening are TINY.

What happened on Saturday was horrific. Two of my ex's over the last 10 years lived v near borough market, so I've spent more nights in the wheatsheaf and market porter than most other pubs. I work near there now. So i'm not saying this in any way to denigrate what happened or to minimise your fear; it's intended to be a helpful way to look at it, because it has helped me get out of bed and ready to work there today:

Those 3 pricks wanted to cause maximum death and carnage. In light of the sheer number of people there, and the response from the security services and the public, they absolutely failed. For the only time in his shitty orange life, trump is right - they are losers. And you can't be scared of losers.

Don't make your DS quit a job he was excited about. Keep remembering the stats and the amazing job our police do, and after he's done a few days, it will all feel different.

StillDrivingMeBonkers · 05/06/2017 06:52

Isn't he in the middle of his GCSEs?

And the school leaving age age of participation was raised to 18 a while back, how has he circumvented that get a job?.

TantrumsAndBalloons · 05/06/2017 06:54

My office is just behind Bond Street tube

And my ds1 works in one of the big stores in oxford street part time. He will be there st 6pm today.

However. My daughter is in uni in a popular place. My ds1 will also be in college this morning in another part of north London.
My ds2 will be at school near a town.
My dh will be at work in Watford

Who can say any of us are in a place of safety? There will be an increased police presence and we all just have to get up and carry on

We are imvho in no more risk in oxford street than anyone else.

TantrumsAndBalloons · 05/06/2017 06:56

Today 06:52 StillDrivingMeBonkers

Isn't he in the middle of his GCSEs?

And the school leaving age age of participation was raised to 18 a while back, how has he circumvented that get a job?

Both my ds1 and dd were working part time at 16?

DarkFloodRises · 05/06/2017 06:56

I do understand your worries but YABU. The risk of him being killed in a terrorist attack are absolutely tiny compared to him being killed in a car crash, but you wouldn't stop him travelling by car or crossing a road would you?

I was working in London at the time of the 7/7 bombings and I was back in work the next day.

Littlecaf · 05/06/2017 06:58

I work at London Bridge. I have current work related projects at Borough Market, including the pubs and restaurants which were involved on Saturday night. We are all shaken by this awful horrific event, but if you stop being normal, then they have won. Don't give your son an excuse not to go to work. Give him a reason to carry on being a Londoner.

Booph · 05/06/2017 07:04

I think you probably are BU but I completely understand, it must be hard for you.

Jelly I have no idea what that's got to do with anything. It's great that your OH travels 3.5 hours to work and back but most people don't really fancy doing that, and certainly not at 16 for what is presumably a part time job!

StillDrivingMeBonkers · 05/06/2017 07:04

Your DC very well may be working part time @ 16 ... but it's middle of GCSEs. Did your children not take exams? Or did they have Mondays off to go to work?

LagunaBubbles · 05/06/2017 07:08

You can't live your life on the "What ifs" otherwise you would end up never leaving the house.

engineersthumb · 05/06/2017 07:21

I seem to remember taking my exams at 14/15 not 16. I think the requirement now is in work or education to 18 not "in school"? I worked all the way through my latter schooling (whilst officially too young) it's hardly the point of tissue thread is it? In answer to the OP YABU, his choice and to be honest it's not a particularly hazardous one, as a parent i do understand though, have a coffee, breath in and out!

Swipe left for the next trending thread