Aibu to not let my ds go to his first job in oxford street

[user1484615313]

Ds (16) got a job in a well known high street shop for the first time. He was over the moon but I'm a nervous wreck about him traveling ATM. His first day is tomorrow and we live in the Richmond upon Thames borough. So a long travel too. Aibu?

Totally understand how you're feeling op, but you know he has to go.

He could be 17 in June, July or August meaning he's not doing his GCSEs and is possibly at 6th form college.

Maybe his exams have finished? Or maybe he doesn't have any til later on in the week? It's not that unusual to work during exams.

Maybe he works evenings or on his days off? Some college courses are only 2/3 days a week.

While I can understand your worries, stopping him from starting a new stage in his life is totally OTT.
What are you planning to do? Keep him indoors for the next 60 years?
DD works in humanitarian aid flies all over the world to frequently risky destinations living and working, in places where people are killed horribly regularly; I wouldn't dream of attempting to stop her!
As for your comment about the commute 😳🙄

Maybe he's working on a day when he doesn't have an exam, my DS did. It's pretty normal for 16 year olds to have part time jobs and do GCSEs.

Nearly a quarter of children, the summer-born, take their GCSEs aged 15 not 16.
Anyway OP, good jobs for 16 year olds are hard to find. Get yourself a bottle of Rescue Remedy for panic attacks and give him a big hug.

Of course 16 yo are allowed jobs. They get sent their NI number by their 16th birthday. And lots work as well as doing GCSE's/A levels.

Used to live near richmond. Richmond to oxford street is not a long commute. Can understand you nervous but stats wise he is more likely to win the lottery than get caught up with another attack. You cant stay in never going to work just in case.

Good luck to your son in his new job. Of course he needs to go.

Of course he must go. You must be entirely calm and casual about it, wish him luck of course, but no more than that. And when he gets home show no sign of having been worried about him. Come and tell us he's back!

YABVU. He will be fine.

I was in Borough Market a couple of hours before the attack and was in the London Bridge area while the events were unfolding on Saturday. I wasn't simply unaffected, but completely oblivious. I'm not more afraid coming to work today that I was last week, last month or last year.

The risk of being affected by terrorism remains tiny. Nobody can make any guarantees, but likewise nobody can make guarantees about anything in life - there are around 100 collisions a year between buses and pedestrians a year on Oxford Street, for example.

The work experience will set him up well in life. Bad career prospects are likely to damage him far more than terrorism.

Richmond to Oxford Street is a really short commute. Train to Vauxhall (about fifteen minutes at most), tube four stops to Oxford Circus (ten mins or so). That's a really easy journey.

My son is living in London. He usually parties in the area which was targeted on Saturday. Fortunately he was tired and went to bed early instead of going out otherwise he would have been caught up in the attack. I haven't asked him to come home, nor would I expect him to come home. Yes I am very very worried but should he really put his life on hold because of these b***ds?

He will be 17 in august and has finished his exams already. So will be working through summer holidays but then will be weekends only. Tbh I don't see what that has to do with anything.
All your comments have helped. Thanks guys.

Blobby- I wish I had that attitude. Actually most of the commenters have a great attitude.

Tiny commute for London, to a job he really wants to do. Lucky boy.

It is hard, but you can't stop living your life. He's more at risk from falling over the kerb crossing the road than he his from a terrorist attack.

The fact that he wants to go and get a job at 16 is a good thing! He'll be fine, OP :)

user1484615313 if it makes it any easier, my sister works in London very near to the site of the incident and says that tube station is as busy as ever and all the commuters are queuing up in Waitrose for their free coffee so it's business as usual .

IMO you aren't unreasonable for wanting to protect your boy btw and I do realise its very easy for people like me, sitting in an office miles away from any potential terror attacks, to say 'just carry on and dont let them win'.

Still takes guts to do that and everyone in London and Manchester and any other place with big enough crowds to attract these vicious nutjobs have my full admiration and respect for carrying on as usual.

At 16 he might have finished school last year if he has an early birthday? Thus ion could be an apprenticeship or part time. Could be after school?

Op I understand why you're worried but yabu it really could happen anywhere

So he went. Texted me throughout the journey. Felt relieved when he got home. He said he loved being there and had fun. Thank you for talking sense into me people.

well done mum.
Can you install find friends or another tracker? With his permission of course. I rarely mither my teens as I can see if where they are.

Well done, OP.

I must admit, it's always at the back of my mind. Since 9/11. On 7/7 my feeling was 'oh fuck, they've got us now' and I can barely get onto a tube without it being there - just lurking in the back of my mind.

But I refuse to let it stop me doing stuff. There are certain CBT-like techniques you can use to help the anxiety.

Good idea.

OP I live in Europe very near one of the most famous landmarks in the world (not sure many more monuments have quite the same rate of recognition!) and walk past it every day to go to & from work. It's usually absolutely jam packed with people. Honestly, I don't even think about the threat level. Mostly I think about what's for lunch.

I also once had an absolutely awful panicky feeling having got on a coach to go from Paris to London last Nov - no one had their bags checked before getting on and this weird feeling just settled in to me. It felt like an instinct and I'm not someone who gets instincts normally, and we're often encouraged to respect these rare instincts unreservedly so I really had to fight the urge to get off the coach. Absolutely nothing happened, the 'instinct' was bollocks. Our mind works against us just as much as it works for us.

No one can tell you that nothing will happen with any degree of true intuition. But I can hazard a guess that your relationship with your son would suffer more than you currently appreciate if you'd use your authority to stop him. Is it worth it?