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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that marking yourself as safe when you're nowhere near is counterproductive and attention seeking?

88 replies

Bricksandbriefcase · 04/06/2017 20:31

I agree there are definitely some circumstances in which it is a positive thing, but I feel this function that Facebook has of allowing people to mark themselves "safe" seems in some way to equate the experience of simply being in Greater London when a terrorist attack happens with the experience of those who are surviving in places which have ongoing mass atrocities (like Aleppo) where the language Facebook uses would be more appropriate.

If you know someone who is one of the 9 million people who live in London but they don't live, work and only occasionally go to the specific place where the attack happens, it is very unlikely they are one of the 7 killed and 50 injured.

I feel that it first of all undermines the attention that the families, people and aid workers who are really suffering as a result of the attack should be getting, by turning the focus to unrelated people, many of whom live up to 10 miles away from the attack. And that secondly it also gives people a false perception of the place and circumstances they live in by them being given the drama of having to declare themselves, or seeing their friends on Facebook declaring themselves "safe" or not.

I grew up in a war zone. Social media didn't exist at the time, so you didn't know if someone had been killed or injured and you never had an accurate idea about what was happening and where. But if it had existed, the state of war was so chronic and people were so hardened to it that you would've been laughed at for marking yourself safe if a bomb had gone off in a village a mile away, let alone a place you never went.

I know that terrorism is the same-level horrific whether it is a one off, ongoing or in any country of the world, but I feel Facebook is yet again warping our perception of ourselves and others by making a terrorist attack another chance for narcissism in a small way.

OP posts:
GirlOnATrainToShite · 04/06/2017 22:13

SIL has added a photo of her snogging her BF with a Union Flag filter and the words "Stand Together".

If there was a way to trivialise it and make it all about her she has found it. Hmm

WhooooAmI24601 · 04/06/2017 22:15

A friend of DH's marked himself as safe at 2am, sat in Wolverhampton. DH isn't ever narky or judgy but even he had a "what the fucking fuck" moment at that.

TheDowagerCuntess · 04/06/2017 22:16

When the 7/7 attacks happened the mobile networks were 'jammed' and people were asked only to call in emergencies.

7/7 was 12 years ago. The amount of calls, texts and data flying around now is probably more in a day than it was per year back then.

The systems can generally cope a hell of a lot better.

I still don't get why someone would mark themselves as safe on FB, to stop a worried Mum from going out of their mind, when there is a far easier, more direct, quick option.

Smellbellina · 04/06/2017 22:16

I think you are being quite unfair.
I have a number of friends in London, I live in the sticks know and despite my childhood have zero idea around London geography. I was pleased to see them all mark themselves as safe.
I don't see it causing any problems, I think you are being ridiculous actually.

ocelot41 · 04/06/2017 22:17

FB invited me to mark myself as safe, even though I live in bloody Scotland! Not sure why...

BeBeatrix · 04/06/2017 22:17

1 was from a friend who checked in and who lives in fucking Guildford. GUILDFORD hmm attention seeking twat

Guildford wasn't inside the FB 'safety check-in' radius. Presumably that friend was somewhat closer to the attacks. I live 30 miles from London, but if I'd been on London Bridge last night I'd have marked myself as safe afterwards.

TheDowagerCuntess · 04/06/2017 22:18

In fact, I was on a tube that got stuck outside Wembley on 7/7, trying to get into Westminster area for work.

Texting was fine, I was even texting my Dad back and forth in NZ.

OSETmum · 04/06/2017 22:22

I think it's a great idea if you live or are in the place where the attack took place. It lets everyone know quickly and easily at a time when the phone networks could be busy. A colleagues daughter was in Oaris during those attacks and I was concerned but obviously not close enough to ask so it was good to see she'd marked herself as safe.

Obviously, if you're in another part of the country, it's pointless and self indulgent. As are the statuses saying, 'Can't believe I was in ........ only last year!'.

Griffintoes · 04/06/2017 22:23

I didn't say the networks WERE jammed, I just said it was a possibility. Sorry I spoke.

I'm still glad friends marked themselves safe. It doesn't do anyone any harm, so why should anyone be so outraged? I suppose we have to entertain ourselves somehow on a Sunday night!

IrenetheQuaint · 04/06/2017 22:23

I can see the feature is useful for disasters or attacks in which a lot of people are killed or injured. But I think turning it on at the drop of the hat encourages a culture of getting massively and unnecessarily anxious about people and situations which are actually very low risk.

sanityisamyth · 04/06/2017 22:25

I used it this weekend. I live in Somerset but told friends that I was going to London to see a concert (and put it on FB that I'd never heard of the band I was going to see 😳) so by the time the concert had finished I was getting messages asking me if I was safe. I don't see the problem with it?

BillSykesDog · 04/06/2017 22:25

The way that app is working for me, you can't actually mark yourself as 'safe' unless you are in the city concerned. The only people who have come up in the list for me are either people who say they live in London or those whose geo data puts them there. And even those who live in London and aren't there but have geo data switched on can't mark themselves safe because the geo data marks them as 'does not apply' instead.

So the only people who could possibly do it when they're nowhere near would be people who live in London but are away with their geo data off. Which is not going to be that many people.

And given it was a Saturday night even if people live and work somewhere different if they live in the surrounds of London it's absolutely possible they would be out in town. It's a bit of a moral panic.

Anyway I had a lot of terrified South London friends on my FB feed last night who were north of the river and couldn't get home and it was reassuring this morning to see some had marked themselves. It's a useful tool.

sundayfeeling · 04/06/2017 22:35

I don't really use FB much but went on this morning to see what Sadiq Khan was saying on social media. I had some request from people to mark myself safe. They all know I know I live on the other side of London. So I didn't. I would have felt like a twat if I did.

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