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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband's female friend is causing issues

82 replies

HannahGJ · 04/06/2017 13:35

I'm new here so forgive me for not knowing abbreviations and what not.

I have been married to a wonderful man for just over eight months now. He took my one year old twins on as his, he introduced me to his friends and family (His brother and his children with his first wife who sadly died) And he introduced me to his best female friend.

At first, I loved this girl - Went out with her for drinks, went out for girly days. You name it - We did it. She's recently gotten herself a lovely boyfriend. This guy could put all Men to shame, he's like James Bond but wears Jeans and a t-shirt but yet she still wants my Husband to fix her issues. She calls him all the time, she wants him around. It's making me sick with worry that this girl will ruin my marriage

I'm considering Divorcing him, not because I don't love him - I love him with everything but I'm not the kind of girl that does well with heartbreak. Neither of them realise that what they're doing is wrong.

Okay. That was one heck of a whinge
Once again, I'm new here so be gentle. I really could use a friendly bit of advice

OP posts:
user1471517900 · 04/06/2017 14:52

Mumoftu - that's not a general rule! If she's being unreasonable (as I believe she is), he doesn't have to agree or do what she says.

Mumoftu · 04/06/2017 14:59

I think it is. The op says she calls him all the time and wants him around. You make sure you make enough time for family first imo. I would hope my dh would care if the amount of time he was spending with a friend (m or f) was getting in the way of our relationship.
You could always strike up a close friendship with the hot boyfriend op Wink

NoLoveofMine · 04/06/2017 15:18

If she's a girl the husband is a boy.

Itsnotwhatitseems · 04/06/2017 15:19

I think the Op is the hot boyfriend tbh

DawnOfTheMombie · 04/06/2017 15:24

Married for 8 months with one year old twins? Did you marry him five minutes after you met him?

Another one rushing to get a new Daddy around Hmm

Crunchymum · 04/06/2017 15:25

To be fair I would assume there was a period of time between the OP meeting her DH (when her twins were a year old) and the wedding 8 months ago.

I don't think this has all taken place in the past 20 months?

Herschellmum · 04/06/2017 15:39

Very very odd situation ... were did you find time to date with 8 month old twins? When my twins were 8 months I was nearly keeping it together 😂 in all seriousness I'm very confused by this thread. You love him but want to divorce him because he has a female friend!? I'm confused.

SilverBirchWithout · 04/06/2017 15:53

Always twins involved...

RoseTico · 04/06/2017 15:54

Were you secretly hoping she would fade out of his life when she found someone, and you're upset now it looks like she won't be going anywhere?

Has she given any sign of wanting him romantically or sexually? Have you asked your DH why her BF can't do things for her? And is his time with her taking from your family time, more so than with his male friends?

People will tell you to back off (they have) and that you're being paranoid, yet the relationships board has new threads from shellshocked cheated-on wives almost every single day! If it's a problem, you need to address it with him.

RoseTico · 04/06/2017 15:55

But you talk about it with him, not with a divorce lawyer!

sadsquid · 04/06/2017 15:58

in all seriousness I'm very confused by this thread

Well without wanting to be too rude, reading the OP again might help - the twins were one when she met her DH, not eight months. Their wedding took place eight months ago. We don't know how long she and her DH dated before marrying. But eight month old twins don't come into it anywhere!

YouWhatMate · 04/06/2017 16:01

The twins could 21 by now for all we know!

SpottedOnMN · 04/06/2017 16:08

Neither of them realise that what they're doing is wrong.

But what exactly are they doing? Sounds like they're maintaining their platonic friendship like they did when they were single. What's wrong with that? My best friend is male and our lips haven't so much as touched in the 30 years we've known one another. The occasional hug or kiss on the cheek, lots of conversations and good advice, nothing that would be inappropriate whether one or both of us is in a relationship or not.

WellThatSucks · 04/06/2017 16:25

SparklyMagpie Yeah i think i might bow out of this one already

Yeah me too. I might look in later to see how it escalates after a few dripfeeds develops. Gonna go get a latte and a Danish, wanna come?

VladmirsPoutine · 04/06/2017 16:31

Reverse?
A badly engineered one at that.

Umpteenthnamechange · 04/06/2017 18:58

Place mark for potential MNHQ message

rolopolovolo · 04/06/2017 20:01

so annoying the OPs disappear

mygorgeousmilo · 04/06/2017 20:47

Errrr....

SparklyMagpie · 04/06/2017 20:59

WellThatSucks i thought i'd pop back, shouldn't have bothered. I would love to take you up on your offer, although i'm currently drinking jack daniels, i can share :)

gillybeanz · 04/06/2017 21:08

I can't believe a parent would behave like this, married in a few months and then talking about divorce.
What a way to raise children Confused

JustMyLuckUnfortunately · 04/06/2017 22:19

Popped back for an update and still no sign of the OP Hmm. But love the idea of a Danish pastry!

Zoflorabore · 04/06/2017 22:23

Op has well and truly buggered off, she's giving birth to triplets as we speak Grin

user1471517900 · 04/06/2017 22:36

Let's post our favourite bits from the classic film Twins.

Mine would be Devito convincing Arnie to steal a car by pretending it's his own.

RebootYourEngine · 04/06/2017 22:42

I have just had to check the time of the first post because i thought OP had maybe posted an hour or so ago and got caught up with something else. But 9 hours later and still no reply, thats unacceptable.

C0untDucku1a · 04/06/2017 22:45

How long were you together before getting married?

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