To wonder why women fall for this?

[Falalala]

My ex got remarried two years ago. He hasn't seen our son for four years. His choice. He hasn't paid a penny in maintenance, he ducked and dodged the CSA for ages and now I've given up.

He got together with his wife very soon after we split up. Not sure if she was OW. She's well off, and I suspect ex is a cocklodger with her as he was with me. She did send me some out of the blue texts telling me that I was a terrible person and I'd never be able to touch a penny of her money. Not nice, but I suspect ex was filling her head with shit. So I don't hold it against her.

Anyway, I've heard through mutual friends that she is pregnant. My son will have a sibling he'll probably never meet. It's dredged up a lot of thoughts and feelings to be honest. Ex has already abandoned one child. He's said some awful things about me,but if they were true then why was he happy to leave his son in my sole care? With no support?

Now he has another woman eating out of his hand, making herself vulnerable, and he'll probably fuck off on her in a few years too. and no doubt charm another woman into paying for him to sit on his ass.

I wonder about his wife now. Does she ever think of the child he abandoned and worry he will do the same to her? Will their happy family life seem hollow, knowing there's a little boy who for all they know, could be living a shit life? My son has a great life by the way, but how do they know that?

Maybe my experiences have made me overly cautious, but I really think men who don't support their children should be shunned. When a woman abandons her child she is vilified, she is seen as an unnatural bitch, but when a man does it he still has a queue of women lining up, ready to give him another chance, making excuses for him.

This really isn't right, is it? A man who abandons his children should not be seen as a good relationship option. I see this time and time again, they walk away scot free, only to do the same thing again

My ex lives the life of Riley, drives a fancy car, has multiple foreign holidays a year while I slave to afford a week's camping for DS. How on earth do.these people sleep at night?

My ex is another who has had another child but sees nothing of the one I have with him. Mr respectable in the public view but behind closed doors something else entirely. I hope karma catches up soon. My child deserves better

OP, you've basically described my dad, but the new wife wasn't rich and flatly refused to ever so much as be in the same air space as my mother, let alone text her.

I'm not going to lie to you, once I was old enough to realise my dad had abandoned me and left my mum as a lone parent in every possible way, to marry a woman who hated me and start a whole new family, it hurt. I can't even describe the way I felt throughout my teens when I saw my step dad being a fantastic father to my step siblings and I just couldn't understand how my dad had forgotten about me. And what was worse is his new wife had a child from her previous relationship and would NEVER have accepted her ex treating her kid the way she let my dad treat me.

But when I was grown up, I got in touch with him and I told him how I felt. I am in a much better place now and came to realise that through all these years my step dad raised me, supported me and got me through the worst times, no matter how hideously I treated him and how much I pushed him away for being everything my real dad wasn't.

It's shit having a dad who abandons you, there is no other way to describe it. Utter shit.

But my mum was incredible. I could see that all the way through, she was everything I needed and she fought for me every step of the way. She is a bloody hero - your son will always know this of you too OP, throughout any and all bad times and good times, you'll be the one he can rely on and in the end, that is what will matter to him most.

I've also become a step mum myself and work very very hard to be the kind of woman I always wished my dad had found. It's not always easy to be a step mother, but women like your ex's new wife are just as disgusting as the men themselves. Good luck to them both, they'll realise what a pair of monumental twats they are one day.

My mum always used to say 'he'll regret it when one day when he needs a kidney' ;)

It's worth adding at this point that 70 years ago you may not have had quite as many single mothers (well, actually you might have had quite a lot of young widows ) but there were still unhappy marriages with husbands who did not support their families financially or otherwise, and wives who didn't even have the option of earning any wage at all. Now that was being trapped.

well because these types of me n are liars. Of course you are a bitch, who took all his money and the house and of course he want's to pay maintenance but at the moment he just can't afford it etc......

and these women choose to accept it because they have low self esteem and don't want to question the relationship and plus it's a hell of a lot easier to complain that your boyfriends ex wife is a bitch that won't let him see his DC thank it is 2 deal with someone else moody kids rocking up EOW.

I'm in same post a OP and i just can t wait until my ex cocklodgers victim realizes what she's got!

another evil mad woman here.

I told mine he could see the kids talk to them take them out,gave him the address when we moved. i made it so easy for him to see them... Result he never bothers...
Trouble he is still with friends who I am friends with and when he moans about his kids, and not seeing them or tried to talk credit for good things... our friends looking him in the face and say really, cos we see your kids more than you their father.

My sons father had an elder son when I met him. Saw him every weekend and paid regular maintenance.
They are now teens and after a 6 year gap he has just started seeing them and paying maintenance.
Maybe thats what he did with his first and I thought I was witnessing a good father.