To be a bit pissed off at DMs rudeness about me not eating meat?

[Notevenwensleydale]

At the start of the year, I stopped eating meat. I'd been thinking about doing it for a while and decided to go for it. However both DP and my 16mo DS still eat meat and I have absolutely no objection to it, or to cooking it for them either. I did it partly as I wasn't a big meat eater anyway, party for ethical reasons and partly just to see if I could. I have no intentions on preaching about animal cruelty etc to others, and never have done, even though I feel that way personally. I still eat fish and I really really don't feel that I'm being 'awkward' or 'fussy' to anybody, it's my choice and I don't push it on anyone else- it's really not a big deal to me.
But my Mum! She comments every time we go round things like "I have no idea what to cook you now you're vegetarian, why on earth would you want to give up meat?!" I tell her I'll eat anything that isn't meat! Happy to eat fish, or anything Quorn or Linda McCartney etc. She's absolutely perplexed by the idea of it all. Last time we went round for a buffet, I didn't ask her to do anything special for me and was happy to just eat things that just happen not to be eat meat- salad, garlic bread, crisps, potatoes etc. But she made this big song and dance about how she'd bought this quiche especially for me so I best be grateful, and it looked to everyone else there that I'd been making awkward special requests about a quiche (I'm not even that fussed on quiche, but obviously ate it).
Today was similar, they had a BBQ and yesterday I got a text asking me if I would like some Quorn pepper steaks she'd seen in Asda. I was shocked as this seemed to be against her hatred of vegetarianism! I was going to bring my own food but was grateful and said that would be lovely. When we got there she told everyone she'd 'had' to buy special things for me and make extra effort and that it was 'ridiculous' that there were such things as Quorn steaks. I offered her a bit to try and she turned her nose up and went "urgh no thanks!" She also made a big bowl of cous cous especially for me but then went on to say that no one else liked it. I'm grateful she made an effort to accommodate me but I didn't expect it, and would rather it without the comments every time.
Is it just me who finds this really odd behaviour? I rarely mention it and am happy to just fit it around meat eaters as not to inconvenience anyone with MY choice. It doesn't define me, it's just food

Sorry post was longer than I planned!

Some people take other people's choices as a threat or derisive comment about their own. They then get (aggressively) defensive.

See also: teetotalism, being a SAHM/WOHM, breastfeeding and formula feeding, etc

Eugh story of my life(long vegetarianism). I never ever bring it up and have never preached, and I fully appreciate why people enjoy meat. Not fussy and will literally eat anything that doesn't contain meat. But as soon as it's mentioned - the fuss! And the debates people start which I refuse to react to so they end up arguing with themselves!

When I met MIL DP mentioned I was a veggie (I try not to bring it up if I don't have to) and she said 'well I'm sorry, but my boys eat meat and they always will do!' Like I had been trying to convince her son to become veggie (now I do all the cooking and he eats everything and isn't complaining).

Just ignore, she'll get tired of it eventually.

YANBU.

What were the Quorn pepper steaks like? I saw them in Asda yesterday but wasn't sure whether I should get them.

She is defensive, she is being rude. Why mention it at all? It is strange, she is taking it personally for some reason, be it criticism or judgement or irritation, bit it is absolutely nothing to do with her. I would try and have a very calm, private chat saying you feel she makes a very vocal issue of your food choice and you find it very uncomfortable. Whatever her issue could she for the love of you just not discuss it again I don't eat red meat, happily eat whatever isn't that when out or visiting friends. Its never mentioned, its been a very long time since an adult felt the need to go out about my diet.

chloe they were nice! Not as good as Linda McCartney mozzarella burgers (if you've not tried them, they're amazing imo) but still good!

I'll deffo try them both, thanks ☺️

What a lot of fuss, when the OP isn't even a vegetarian!

Nope iggi technically I'm pescatarian. But always feel a bit silly using that as a label

I just wanted confirmation that it wasn't just me who thought her behaviour was bizarre! So glad I'm not the only one! She cut out sugar and all things sweet years ago. She has her reasons and doesn't make a fuss about it, to me this is the same really just with something else! Not sure why some people get so offended by other people's diets!

Has she got form for martyrdom?

random very much so. I love her dearly ofc but she has a tendency to 'flap' over little things. She often has an idea herself to invite people over and then she cooks/does a buffet etc and she just looks really stressed with it all, yet won't accept your help when you offer. She seems annoyed that everyone else is sitting down and it can make you feel a bit on edge tbh. Me not eating meat just adds to her stress I think.

BIL has been a vegetarian for over 30 years and MIL still doesn't get it. He brings his own food to their house now and sticks to just the veggies from what they've cooked.

I wouldn't feel silly using the correct label! It's important to use the right terminology anyway as it's a bit of a pain in the ass for vegetarians when they warn people before going to their house and get served fish...

Anyway why can't you all just eat fish?

babyledwhining I don't really agree. I don't say I'm a vegetarian, and I didn't say that in my OP. I just said I don't eat meat. If someone asks I'll say I'm pescatarian but I don't feel the need to label my diet really unless asked about it.
I'm happy to eat fish and I do. My family are big meat eaters though so I wouldn't expect them to!

You actually mention vegetarian a few times in your op so it's a bit confusing. Also how is fish not meat? Animal flesh?

But you do eat meat. Meat is flesh. Fish is flesh.

The Op isn't confusing at all, she's clearly said she gave up meat but eats fish. Oh and I'm not aware of anyone in RL who uses meat to refer to say a piece of salmon

To be honest Noteven I'd be tempted to tell my mum to get over it, you don't eat meat, it's not a big deal. If she offers to get something specially for you just tell her no thanks, you don't like to put her to any trouble Then when she launches into her am-dram you can just roll your eyes at her audience who probably also think she's being ridiculous!

Argh I hate this shit. I can't stand the way that some people seem to take your personal choices as some kind of affront to them and their entire way of life.

I really hate the stupid fucking questions like: if you were on a desert island and all there was to eat were rabbits, what would you do?

Today was similar, they had a BBQ and yesterday I got a text asking me if I would like some Quorn pepper steaks she'd seen in Asda. I was shocked as this seemed to be against her hatred of vegetarianism!

"I have no idea what to cook you now you're vegetarian, why on earth would you want to give up meat?!"

Yes I mention vegetarianism as that's what my Mum refers it to. But I do not and never do say that I'm vegetarian. And I'm really not getting into a debate about the fish/meat thing. To me (and the majority of people) fish is fish. Meat is meat. I don't eat meat. I do eat fish. I'm pescatarian.

So yes, stupidly I was confused and though the op was calling herself a vegetarian

babyled yes my mum does have a hatred for vegetarianism. And she calls me a vegetarian- it's a direct quote from her hence the speech marks.